Dating

Am I being blinded by my love for him? Has he been using me?

16 years ago my boyfriend left me when I was 3 months pregnant ( unplanned pregnancy) and he chose not to have anything to do with our child or I for 7 years when he suddenly reached out to us wanting to meet his child for the first time, while I was reluctant I knew our child would want to meet him. After a few months my boyfriend wanted to start a relationship with me again, I was in love with him and we started Dating however he kept our relationship a secret from everyone for 3 years and in that time he had an online affair which resulted in a one night stand. He denied it at first however the other women told me everything as she felt used by him and rightfully so. I chose to forgive him for the cheating. 3 years later I took him on a overseas holiday to join his child for their birthday I paid for everything. I however found out he was telling a female friend of his that he missed her while on holidays with me and called her baby. I confronted him and he said they were only friends she is married so I once again chose to forgive him as I had no proof but hurt he was telling another woman he missed her while on holidays with me that I paid for. We have been together now for 9 years, I continue to pay for holidays, date nights, even some of his bills however we do not live together, we have no plans to move in together or have any other commitment other than girlfriend and boyfriend. Now most recently I again paid for an overseas holiday and as soon as we got back he hasn’t wanted to see me ( 3 weeks now) he is taking longer to respond to my messages if at all. He says his drained but it appears this change occurred when I wanted to know where our relationship is going. Am I being blinded for my love for him and his been using me? Why is it he has suddenly gone quiet on me again? Should I tell him how it makes me feel or just walk away?

Am I being blinded by my love for him? Has he been using me?
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