Guy's Behavior

How do I heal and grow from this experience (unrequited love)?

In hindsight, I think I finally understand how my ex felt when he ghosted me. I don’t think he felt that we were compatible. So he ghosted me for a girl who was more like him. I thought I understood love. On my worst day his smile could lift my whole mood. When my cousin died I went to him for comfort because even when my world would feel like it was falling apart being next to him made me feel okay. I admired him and I knew he had flaws but I loved those right along with him. In my eyes, I still think thats what real love is. I didn’t realize it right away, and even when I suspected it I couldn’t accept it that he just didn’t love me. He told me he did, and he pursued ME- he was the one seeking something I didn’t even realize I wanted until I met him. But I’m willing to accept that I most likely didn’t know him for who he was deep down. I just think he didn’t feel understood. He cried in front of me a few times so I thought he trusted me but in hindsight he probably didn’t. I just think that I was too blinded by my admiration of him to see that he felt unfulfilled despite the fact that I tried.

when I finally accepted that he didn’t love me I felt so betrayed. I still feel a painful sting in my heart when I give myself a chance to reminisce on that relationship. But I no longer feel a constant aching in my heart. I accepted it. Even when he came back trying to make up I assumed that it was most likely because I was genuinely a good person but nothing deeper. I felt that he was right to leave, but I only wished he had the decency to do so without discarding me like a piece of trash without even saying goodbye or anything at all.

I’m still affected by the heartbreak. I have trust issues and a fear of being vulnerable. It has costed me the opportunity to build new close bonds because i worry that when people won’t like me for who I am

How do I heal and grow from this experience (unrequited love)?
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