Does he like me or no?

[Anonymous]

There’s a guy I met online. We recently started talking and sexted once. I playfully told him I might have a crush on him. I asked him if we’re just being bad or he secretly likes me a little too. He answered it with he can easily say he enjoys talking to me and he talks to me more than anyone on the online platform we’re met on. I told him how I feel like I can just be myself with him and he told me the same as it’s something hard to come across.

[HollyK21]

We can say he’s at least interested but in what, we don’t know and you should ask. It’s always a red flag to me when men jump into sexting, asking for dirty pics or sending them on their own accord. It just makes them appear one-track minded or makes their intentions look disingenuous. There’s not even been a first date, there are so many topics to discuss, why sex?

[Asker]

That’s true, I guess our situation is diff since it’s more of a sexual online platform.

[HollyK21]

So having this context in mind, maybe you should reconsider the platform that you’re using and the men you encounter that use it. You met this guy on a platform geared towards sex, out of all the other relationship-driven platforms out there, and in my opinion that’s a clear, purposeful choice that he made.

Who knows, maybe when you joined you just intended on having some no strings attached fun, which is totally fine. But things can change and sometimes it takes meeting a certain person to make that happen. So if you’ve caught feelings unintentionally, then that changes everything and you really need to be honest with yourself about that.

In my opinion you should have a conversation with the guy about what comes next, but the fact you’ve avoided it makes me think it’s because you know what his answer will be and want to avoid that, which again should say a lot to you.

Even taking into account the dynamic you have built, I really think a lot of that is him trying to create some level of trust and connection, rather than acting on romantic feelings. To me this makes sense, I mean a guy with common sense should want to make the woman they’re pursuing comfortable, and I’m sure he’s a nice enough dude. But don’t lose the plot — this is about sex. If you want more than that, then you’ve got be honest with yourself about it rather than setting yourself up for disappointment.

[Asker]

I have no idea where you got the idea I “avoided” anything. I directly ask him if he likes me lol. I’m very well aware of the situation since it’s the typical online platform, which is why I told him and asked him if he likes me too or we’re just being bad. I asked this question post since I wasn’t fully sure given his response and our situation. Thank you for your suggestion and opinion.

[HollyK21]

That’s my bad for making an assumption, usually when people on this site ask if a guy/girl likes them, as soon as I inquire about whether or not they’ve actually spoken to the person, I either get no response or an excuse as to why they haven’t. You are probably the first person I’ve spoken to in months that actually has had that conversation lol so good on you. However I do think it would help to be clearer with him, at least if you think you’d like to pursue something more. Saying that he likes you in my opinion relays general interest, which there obviously should be. But it doesn’t clarify the intent that comes with it. Like okay you’ve said you like me, now what? Should we date? Do we want to work towards something? I’m just really big on transparency and not having my time wasted just in case we aren’t on the same page.

[bowenw]

It seems like he likes you, but was also being a little evasive and didn't really say he likes you when you asked him a direct question.

[Asker]

How come he couldn’t directly say it?

[bowenw]

Only he knows that, but he may not have any feelings for you (yet) and does not want to mislead you or get your hopes up. He may also be a player and doesn't want to commit to anyone.

[Asker]

Do you think he’s starting to like me and being careful if it will get stronger or lessen?

[bowenw]

That is possible. See how it goes and if he mentions liking you.

[Asker]

If he didn’t like me, he wouldn’t had explained it the way he did right? I guess I just never had a guy done that before. Usually they will just say they’re also interested in me lol. But he didn’t directly say it. He does have a quirky personality though. I wasn’t sure if he also don’t know what he wants yet with me?

[bowenw]

I think it's unusual that he didn't answer the question. I get the impression he likes you online but isn't sure exactly how he feels otherwise. Be careful he isn't just stringing you along because he enjoys the sexting.

[Asker]

Thank you for the heads up. Yeah I would understand if that’s his headspace since we just started talking and maybe I’m coming off strong by telling him I have a crush on him. It’s because i wanted him to notice me and consider things with me. I’ll give him some space and time to see where it goes as it’s fairly new lol.

[bowenw]

If he's seriously into you and likes you he will tell you. I hope he does and things work out the way you want them to.

[Asker]

Thank you, I hope so too… :) he makes me laugh a lot and I feel like I can be myself with him… it’s what I told him and it’s true. So I hope it will go somewhere but I’m not expecting anything.

[bowenw]

I think you have a good attitude about it. Have fun with him and see what happens.

[bowenw]

Thank you for the MHO. Best of luck to you. 😊

[spartan55]

Maybe he does, but probably doesn't. You don't even know him.

[Brady]

U should ask him