Is my 53-year-old neighbor’s behavior towards me creepy or alarming?

[Anonymous]

this man from my neighborhood has been flirting with me for like 1 year, i always reject his advances. ok, one could say, the flirting ain't even that bad but: he suggested to buy me groceries, i said no, he started to carry stuff in his bag just in case he meets me. then randomly mentioned so and so told me you were around XYZ at 8 pm (i believe he's trying to threaten me, that he will always know where i am)
when i lost a phone, he wants to know when exactly am i going to get a new one. like for what? i know where to find u if i wanted to
i believe he's doing this on purpose because he knows damn well i am not itnerested in him romantically
i was little bit warmer with him as we are countrymen abroad, we are even from the same hometown. he is like 53.
why is he so stuck on me and am i right he is alarming

Updates

2 mo

I forgot to mention he's been occassionally been puttin me down. I read it as a sign of frustration i dont give in or whatever,

Updates

2 mo

So he's not all that innocrnt

[Finchie40]

Because he is creepy and he thinks you are eventually going to give into him if he keeps coming around you. He finds you attractive and he more than likely wants to have sex with you , you are best to ignore him every which way you can until he gets the hint to leave you alone , if he does y get the hint then call the police and report that he is harassing you and you can file a PFA on his ass as well, if he doesn’t follow the PFA then the cops will arrest him and put him in jail and fine his ass.

[Asker]

thanks i forgot to mention the part where he's been ocassionally putting me down telling me i need new shoes when i just bought them a week ago and hows my hair not done etc

[Asker]

That sort of breaks the image of inept grandpa, does it

[Finchie40]

Yea you are best to ignore this guy as much as possible , he sounds like a wack job

[Asker]

Do u personally thinks he's crazy or a psychopath or...

[Asker]

I told you for example he asked me if i want x food from our country and i say no 4x and... guess what... he brings it anyway!!

[Finchie40]

He sounds like it, especially because he doesn’t know what the word No means , also he doesn’t take No for an answer , in his warped mind he feels he still has a shot at you and will continue to pursue you until you somehow someway put and stop
To it. So yes he can be a psychopath by not listening to you whatsoever

[Asker]

Funnily, I just read The Gift of Fear some time ago, and they warn against people who don’t respect ‘no’ the first time - apparently always a bad sign. One lady got killed by a guy who insisted on carrying her groceries, l

[Finchie40]

Yea that book is speaking truth , it’s mental obsession , pretty much how rapist are, they don’t take No for answer , once they are fixated on someone they do what they have to , to get their way. So you are best not to let your guard down around this guy whatsoever, he clearly is obsessed with you

[Cyfris]

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." - Hanlon's razor

Sounds like a sad dumb lonely old man. I doubt his intentions are nearly as sinister as you lay out in your argument. If anything it sounds like maybe a foreign land trauma bond. People are cows and prefer to be in a heard of similar cows. Be careful obviously it is your life after all but I think you might be a bit deep in to tin hat territory.

[Asker]

Tin hat

[Asker]

Whag

[ilaypipe]

Before you end up tieecup in his Mom's home put in the basement where he lives , you should get a restraing order or at least make sure someone you trust knows how he's creeping you out , so when you go kissing some day and find yourself tied up a gagged in his basket closet that hopefully you will get rescued before he ends you !

[Asker]

@ilaypipe and you're speakinf from experience?

[Purpleronnie]

Apart from being a little forward I’d say he is well intentioned and genuine if a little lonely which is actually a little sad.


I think if you were firm with him , telling him plainly that your not interested him in the romantic sense then just treat him civil and relax and try to accept him as the guy he is trying to be


If he over-steps then draw the boundary plainly , no need for things to get awkward.

[Asker]

Ok so when i say no 5x to his offerinfgs for food and he brings it anyway how do you interpret it?

[Asker]

Since you claim he's well intentioned

[Purpleronnie]

I actually admire the guys persistence 😝. It’s fairly simple , you don’t treat him like your chastising a child , you explain to him plainly that your not interested in romantically and that should he insist on pursuing you then say something like “ I’m absolutely sure I’m not interested in you romantically and really need you to understand and accept that , please don’t continue to flirt and make advances , I will never see you like that … agreed? “

[WindAtMyBack]

I was goona say he seems kinda creepy until I read the part about being countrymen abroad. It may be nothing more than reaching out to someone from home, and someone who speaks the same language. It may even part of being homesick.

But it still sounds a bit creepy. Use your gut feeling.

[LC75LC71]

Well first of all what strikes me is that you believe he's trying to threaten you even though beyond being creepy, dude has been nice and the duration before seems to abolish that. Why don't you just ask the dude to not bother you?

[TediumIsTheWorstPain]

Is there any reason for you to be around this person at all? Can't you just tell him you can't talk right now, every time you see him?

Maybe he just thinks you're really really hot.

[Bricealan]

I'm sure, at 35 you know how to handle this.

[Smegskull]

Are you sure this is a romantic interest and not just a desire to have a friend that reminds him of home and who will understand his frame of reference?

[Likes2drive]

Well I guess he likes you but since you don’t he is acting like a stalker now and could be a problem

[Iron_Man]

Date him dont be picky. Appreciate your getting attention. Who else is out there?

[AndreaGags]

I'd give him a try. Old men are very good in bed

[spartan55]

Why do you even talk to him?

[beefcakebradybatson]

Is he ugly?

[Asker]

yes, why

[beefcakebradybatson]

Figures. Not to stereotype, but his behaviour reeks of an ugly chap trying to get a lady's attention.

[Asker]

So you think he's just crazy or a psychopath?

[beefcakebradybatson]

Don't know him;he could be a harmless loser.

[Anonymous]

Give him so Sugar

[Opinion Owner]

oh my

[Opinion Owner]

53 to 35 is not that bad , only 18 years