Was my ex pretending to be a different man online to trick me?

[MissSunshine2]

I had a friend who I’ll call Tom. Not his real name. Tom and I agreed to wait until finishing our studies, for a year, to date. We agreed to be exclusive. Tom told me later that he’d been seeing other people in the meantime and that he had me as a backup plan. I cut contact with Tom and started trying my luck with a dating site.

A few weeks later, I received a friend request, from a man who claimed to be the same guy that I knew, Tom, except he said that he’s not Australian from a posh suburb. This man said that he’s got a different name and that he’s a white Algerian businessman, trying to settle in my state. He said he’s lived here for one year and he proposed marriage to me.

I wasn’t sure what was happening, but I had a bad feeling about whatever was going on, so I blocked this person. This happened a few days ago.

I know for a fact that the guy who is definitely Tom attended my Autistic social group but grew facial hair and came and joined my table, hoping I wouldn’t recognise him. Then he started talking and Tom has a very unique voice, so I knew it was him. So did the host. This also happened a few days ago.

So, I am not clear on what was going on here. Are Tom and the Algerian guy online likely to be the same man, or was it coincidental that I came across another creep around the same time that happened to resemble Tom in appearance and lied about being the same guy?

Updates

3 mo

I’m not trolling. I know there are some really strange people online, so it could be coincidental. Tom looks Australian and there is a record of a real person by his name, on Facebook and on the school studies board, on the year of his graduation.

[sage2021]

Sounds pretty fishy to me. It's good that you blocked him.

As far as Tom goes, you deserve a better guy. He's treating you second best when he should be dating you exclusively and not seeing any other women.

This is a good time to exercise your self-respect and dump Tom permanently!

You deserve way better than the few bread crumbs that he gives you.

[MissSunshine2]

I agree. My friend thinks he’s trying to get me back as a final option, because things obviously failed with his other options.

Do you think that Tom and the Algerian man are the same person? Or is it coincidental?

[MissSunshine2]

I can avoid Tom, but I can’t stop him from joining the autistic social group. Or from sitting at my table. I’m just going to have to ignore him. Be polite when necessary.

[sage2021]

Thank you for the MHO 🙂🧡

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

The algerian man was more likely a scam than your ex friend

[Tomislav7]

You talking about the guy here from gag that always puts a million emojis and says unhinged shit?

[MissSunshine2]

No, probably not. Tom isn’t his real name and he’s someone I met somewhere else.

[MissSunshine2]

So, do you think they’re probably the same person? This guy I know in person and the Algerian guy?

[Tomislav7]

No clue, how do u know ur autistic? Does that make dating hard?

[MissSunshine2]

Me neither. I was diagnosed late and yes it does 😊. I don’t really feel like I understand non autistic men’s needs in a relationship. I am also too high functioning for many of the autistic men’s needs. I have a foot in each world, understanding both up to a point, not understanding either one up to a point and not really entirely belonging to either world, or anywhere, really.

[MissSunshine2]

That said, I have a lot of friends and I present to people who don’t know me well as a bubbly, popular, pretty woman.

[Tomislav7]

Huh, i never thought of myself as autistic but i guess its possible. The women tend to hate me for seemingly just existing and its most not a few that despise me. So ya I don't know

[MissSunshine2]

That’s rough on you. You seem ok to me.

[fish5505_87]

Who cares, run from both!

[fish5505_87]

Thank You

[RavVid]

Seems a bit unlikely the Algerian guy is a random Algerian who happens to know you know Tom and resembles him.

[Zionne]

that's posibble