Is it safe to assume a guy who invites a third person isn’t interested?

[Anonymous]

Seems like it keeps happening to me where after hanging out with a guy often 1:1 he starts trying to add a third person to our hangouts. I think it’s safe for me to assume he doesn’t want to stop hanging out but isn’t interested but wanted to ask.

[HollyK21]

I think in situations like this, it’s better to ask questions rather than assume. I’d also take into account the connection or relationship that him and I have. If we are more casual with each other then it’s unsurprising that he’d invite a third party because maybe our situation is more friendly to him. However if I’m under the impression that we are pursuing each other romantically then I’d certainly want to ask why he keeps trying to include a third person. If he is no longer interested, then I’d know how to proceed going forward rather than stumbling along in the dark, drawing assumptions.

[Asker]

Good point

[Asker]

I guess I’ve never asked because it’s always a guy that keeps his intentions unknown. He hugs, asks to hang out, volunteers to hold your things for you, but if you were to ask him what is intentions are straight up he’d say non-romantic even though he’s being romantic

[HollyK21]

So basically, you don’t wanna ask because historically guys have sent mixed signals and then put you in the friendzone when you ask what their intentions are? I say this with respect but I feel like generalizing to that extent is just straight up avoidant and it’s a very unhealed way of navigating new relationships. If you are traumatized from the past or in a position where you avoid receiving important information for the sake of sparing your ego, worsening your self esteem, or anything of that nature then maybe it’d be better to stay single, and focus on healing all that. Yeah it could get lonely and there may be other factors, like you feel ready, tired of being single, potentially been single for while, the rebuttals could be endless. But your mental health should never take a backseat, or should always be your main priority. Just saying that woman to woman and as someone who’s struggled with a similar mindset in the past.

In any case, I do think it’s fair to feel like you’re noticing signs of wishy washy behavior from him. But in that case, you should still ask about it if you would like to pursue something romantic and want clarity about if you’re on the same page or not.

[Nikki1989]

He probably lacks the confidence to do it by himself.

[OneViewpoint]

As @HollyK21 noted already, what's the aversion to simple straight up having a conversation about it? Yeah, you may not get the answer you want but, at least you're not wasting time in a relationship going nowhere if a relationship is what you want. it doesn't mean you can't still hang out. It just means your expectations are reset to reality. Who knows, maybe the guy is scared to death of being alone with a woman. Has no idea what to do next, LOL. Needs a wing man.

[bowenw]

I would say so. If he was interested in you he would want to spend time alone with you.

[bowenw]

Thank you for the MHO. 😊

[Alex-Snow]

It sounds like he does not want to take your relationship to the next level.

[Anonymous]

Guy or girl?

[Asker]

Both, but usually girl

[Opinion Owner]

Is he just uncomfortable talking to people one on one? Maybe he feels better when there are more people around?

[Asker]

Maybe, it’s always after 2-3 months after already hanging out 1:1 though. Usually they don’t seem nervous about 1:1s

[DryGermanGuy]

Threesome!!! 🤭🤪