Why do some toxic men chase submissive wives but later want independent wives?

[loveyouoak]

They're hard to understand. They don’t seem to know what they want.

[OneViewpoint]

Bingo. There are a lot of confused man babies out there who pick up this "submissive" bullshit on the internet then find out it's not so much fun taking care of an adult female child. At some point, an independent woman starts looking like a pretty good option.

• If you don't allow your wife to have her own friends you're never gonna have any time with your friends either. Locking her up locks you up too! Personally, I like to ski, backpack, fish, and body surf. Most women aren't into that stuff. OK I get that. But I don't want to give up the stuff I love to do. Enter guy friends.
• On the flip side, LOL, I do not want to hang out with the female friend group of the woman I'm dating all the time because I don't trust her out on her own. I can't sit there and listen to a conversation about handbags, makeup, and menstrual cycles for hours. We all need time away from each other to pursue our own interests. And friends are important for a well rounded personality.
• If I have to make every decision about where to eat, where to vacation, what car to buy, etc. etc. etc. it can get really annoying after a while. Please have some opinions and don't be afraid to speak up.

[canamlusciouslad73]

They're immature a**holes.

[fluffydevilxx]

Some toxic men don’t actually change what they want, they change what benefits them.

Early on, a submissive partner can feel appealing because she’s less likely to challenge them, making it easier to feel in control. But once the novelty wears off, they may become bored or lose respect because they’re drawn to conflict, validation, or the excitement of “winning over” someone they can’t easily control.

An independent woman can then become the new target. Not because they suddenly value equality, but because earning her attention feeds their ego. If they succeed, they may eventually try to make her more dependent too. The pattern isn’t about preferring one personality type over another, it’s about chasing whatever satisfies their emotional needs in the moment.

That said, it’s important not to generalize. Plenty of men genuinely prefer independent partners, while others naturally thrive with more traditional relationship dynamics.

The common thread in toxic relationships isn’t whether someone is submissive or independent, it’s the desire to control, rather than to love and respect, the other person.

[bear34]

I suppose they view it as something simple once they’ve got what they wanted. These are the wrong moves. We need to choose the right person for a relationship.

[Ariesman81Nshiiit]

What man in his right mind would want an independent wife? That's how marriages become roommates.

its not really that complicated. Men will take care of women, but only if she's submissive and nurturing.

[dougeats]

Toxic is an odd choice of words, makes me think he's a creep. If he's a dom because it's all about the chase, once conquered or collared it's done and back to a normal type relationship perhaps.

[Mark_Est]

You are mistaken, dudes look for easy asses, but nobody wants to marry an easy ass.

That is our normal sexual strategy.

[Kelly6]

@loveyouoak Toxic men have mood swings issue so for which they can't understand their own life.

[Kelly6]

@loveyouoak
Seen this kind of couple and their breakup and what the man did after the breakup

[_Jenny_]

@loveyouoak does “Toxic and Dominant” mean the same thing?

[_Jenny_]

@loveyouoak Thank you Ma’am for the “Like”

[_Jenny_]

@loveyouoak I think the same, the men don’t know what they want

[jahaims]

You can be submissive and independent. They aren't mutually exclusive. You don't understand what submissive means in the given context.

[genericname85]

cause being submissive sounds awesome untill you realize how much work it is.

[genericname85]

and why are you framing these men as "toxic" by the way? what makes them toxic exactly?

[Still-alive]

Because they know they can’t get them. They desire that which they know they can't have

[fishbone77]

such a weird strawman you created.

[beenherebefore]

Well, they're toxic.

[413kim]

stay away from those

[wkhan_87]

Selfishness