Why do some women go after married men and only married men?

Question

And only married men?

Now, the same can be said of some men naturally, but recently I've read an article - written by a woman - that goes as far to say that "90% of the single women interviewed admitted to prefer married men", allegedly for reasons of stabily, the thrill of "poaching" another woman's man, and because a married man ironically doesn't demand the committment that a single man would ask.

To be honest, of all the women who that got on with married men that I know of, only one is a "serial poacher", the others were either duped or couldn't resist their feelings.

Here's a link to the article, if you want to share your thoughts. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/apologies-freud/201210/why-women-want-married-men?amp

Account · Accepted Answer

Honestly, I do not get it emotionally. I consider it very unattractive.
I am a possessive person and I could never chase a dude who - in my mind- would "belong" to another woman. Belong is not the correct word since truth is that nobody belongs to anyone, but as I said I am a possessive person and I think of such terms even though they are faulty.
Moreover if I was interested in a married man and he left his wife for me, I would always think that he might do the same to me in the future so I wouldn't want to be with him regardless because that would feed my paranoia and trust issues.
Also, I wouldn't want to harm his wife and be the cause of her heartbreak.
It would make me feel terrible even though he would be more at fault than me.
So far I have never been attracted to any married man or any guy who has been committed in any way to another person, I consider it a complete deal breaker, not just a turn off.
I will try to remove myself from the situation and think of it in a third person perspective.
Why would a woman go for a married man?
Well there could be a couple of reasons or a combination of reasons. I think those reasons also apply for men who go for married women.
1. She might think that the guy is of higher value since another woman already picked him. Therefore, she puts him on a pedestal.
2. She is deeply insecure and she gets confirmation from the fact that she is able to get a married dude's attention.
3. She has genuinely fallen in love with him and she believes him when he tells her things will change. There is a small percentage of men who actually goes through it and breaks up with his wife to get with the mistress, but truth is that in most cases they don't for multiple reasons.
4. Some sort of fetish thing is going on there that I would much rather not think in depth since I consider it disgusting.
5. She want to have fun without the consequences of being committed.

Those are 5 I could think of and perhaps there are more.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I’ve never been interested in married men, but this happened to my boyfriend. When he announced he was in a relationship with me, all these girls started coming out of the woodwork and showed interest. I admit, my boyfriend is handsome and well respected in his social circles. I recently turned 30, and these girls were in their 20s.
I say girls, because no respectful woman would do this. But before he had made our relationship public, they were all cold towards him, as if he didn’t exist. So I think it’s a matter of maturity and wanting what you no longer can have.

Miristheiss · Accepted Answer

I've seen someone discuss a study that was done that women often have a "selection bias". I don't know if I am remembering the term correctly. Maybe it was called something else. To sum up, other women deeming a man attractive, a catch, date worthy strongly influences her opinions/feelings about a man.

They showed women photos of men and had the women rate their attractiveness. Then with another group they showed the same pictures but this time they made up ratings that other women had already given the men. When they told the women that other women had rated so and so an 8 or whatever, they rated the men higher. The women that went in blindly and were given no info as to what other women had rated them rated the men lower. The women who thought other women had given the men high ratings ended up rating the men higher. So what other women thought about the men influenced their opinion.

They hypothesized that men used to hunt and go out alone and be risk takers and independent and they are more independent thinkers. A guy won't give a shit what other men think of a girl as long as he thinks she's attractive.

Women were home in communities of other women while the men were gone. They developed a strategy and fitting in with the group and the women didn't want to be ostracized. Getting along and fitting in was a survival strategy. Hence women are influenced if other women have already given approval of a man.

I am not saying this study is right or wrong, it is just a theory pushed and other women's approval seems to affect women. They many not want a man or find him attractive but will after they learn other women want him or find him a catch.

V_Injector · Accepted Answer

I'm here to read and learn the answer to this question. But I'll give my reason why.

I had to stop wearing my wedding ring because I basically get sexually harassed by women for sexy time with it on. They treat me like some creepy pervert when they don't know I'm married.

I hate attention, so I am naturally finding ways to avoid it. This is just one of them. ... and for any of you INCELS that are about to tell me how lucky I am... bro... most of them are big fat land wales and they're nasty looking. You wouldn't want that attention either. The hawt chicks that you imagine you'd get a lot of... sure maybe your % of them go up, but so does all the fags and fat chicks X 3.

Attention lovers dress nice and all that shit... I'm rich, and people think I'm homeless. I wear baggy clothes because I'm buff. My shirt off is a whole bunch of that attention. If you really want that attention... hit the weights.

But yeah... wedding ring had to go. I couldn't even get drive-through McDonald's without the chick trying to get my number.

TrueConfection · Answer

Married women ask this same question.

ManOnFire · Answer

Women who pursue married men think they are "more attractive" and they also do it in the hopes that it will insult or hurt men who are single, when in reality most single men look at these kinds of women as crud and don't want them. I for one have not a lick of respect for a woman who persists in trying to snag a married man.

The irony of it is that if these women were in a relationship and still being pursued by guys, they would find it offensive and disrespectful. It's also ironic because women are the ones constantly claiming loyalty and claiming they cheat far less than men, yet still want to go after guys who are taken. Seriously messed up.

mobiusforniner · Answer

From my experience, the women who truly fall in love with a married man are internally broken. They choose the married man, not because he’s a challenge to conquer, but because he’s safe. He doesn’t pose a threat. His actions and generosity are less likely to be sexually motivated because he is not looking. So the woman confides in this man as someone who protects and understands her. And therein lies the cruel conundrum - she makes herself vulnerable to him and becomes emotionally invested. The bond is formed and she ends up tangled up in the very thing she sought to avoid- love

Such relationships never end in her favor. Her heart is inevitably broken because inside she cannot see herself as anyone more deserving.

RavVid · Answer

Women have said that a single man will come back for more but a married man won't. So more fun without consequence.

Despite the sisterhood n all, women do like getting the interest of a taken man because it says she is better. It can be just a taken man paying attention to her without sex. If a girl has a fight with another girl, her first instincts appear to be to get a guy who knows them both to take her side

He is already broken in an trained is another reason I have heard.

That is what I have heard directly from women and other than dirty stuff of messing up another woman's bed it is much the same as the article.

It is surprising how much it piques female interest in a man if he is not technically available. It is a 50% increase in female interest! So how can single men give the impression of being taken?

Anonymous · Answer

I used to work with a woman like this. She only was attracted to men who were already taken, either dating already or married. Having observed her for a long time I'm convinced she did it because she didn't like ANY of the men. In fact if she broke up the relationship or marriage, then she lost interest in the guy shortly after. I think she looked at it as 1. Sport. And 2. In a twisted way she felt it gave her claim that she was more attractive/in demand then the other woman.

FreyaRed · Answer

Psychology today articles are the Benny Hill show for psychologists and psychiatrists. Unfortunately we dentists don't have such funny comedy magazines
I'm sure some girls go for married men but it's not a requirement, it's just fact that interesting men are more often married then less interesting ones. I assure you if an interesting guy isn't married, it's not an obstacle at all.

blueonblack22 · Answer

It because women assume he’s been “tested by another woman” thus high value and high demand.

You also see women being harsher to long time single men. For most men it’s not a red flag if the woman has been long time single but vice versa it is.

jshm2 · Answer

The same reason more people go after luxury used cars. You know they are value for money and not untested.

A "new" car will often fail within it's first year, and many do, as any defects and design problems will not have been "life tested". A new car drops most of it's price in it's first purchase, but it's value doesn't diminish the longer it lasts.

bobby_bush_eater · Answer

I think it's out of spiteful competition. If a girl sees that a man who has completely committed himself to one woman will throw it away for her, she gets off on that. It's a way to make herself feel better when in truth they're both engaging in degenerate behavior

JacobJordan · Answer

Mate poaching. Shitty women are too lazy to find their own man so they look for married men which is a sign he is a verified "good man" and attempt to steal him. Have encountered several over the last 20 years.

LazerBean · Answer

I think men and women who go after married people do it because it makes them feel better about themselves to think that they can "steal" someone away from their spouse. Like some sort of weird coping mechanism for their inferiority complex.

BlissfullyCurSed · Answer

It is more fun when there is a challenge.😉😉😉

normalice · Answer

My guess is it is in the same spirit as people who want a puppy that is already potty trained.

Nikki1989 · Answer

The same reason married men go after women, married or not.

worldscolide · Answer

Stupidity nothing more, nothing less. AND i feel the same about men and women both who go after married people. I also hate married wives and husbands that seek sex outside of their marriage.

WindAtMyBack · Answer

Whenever you use the word 'some', it's because there are 8 billion people in the world.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Because they are driven by the spirit of Jezebel.

laly520 · Answer

no self respect

robocop666 · Answer

I hear some go after priests too. The ego boost.

LaurenM1997 · Answer

Cause they are heartless and scum

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