Why do some women prefer to pursue married men?

Question

The same can be said of some men naturally, but recently I've read an article - written by a woman - that goes as far to say that "90% of the single women interviewed admitted to prefer married men", allegedly for reasons of stabily, the thrill of "poaching" another woman's man, and because a married man ironically doesn't demand the committment that a single man would ask.

To be honest, of all the women who that got on with married men that I know of, only one is a "serial poacher", the others were either duped or couldn't resist their feelings.

Here's a link to the article, if you want to share your thoughts. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/apologies-freud/201210/why-women-want-married-men?amp

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

We women do not have female friends we have female competition. We lie to our so-called female friends and pretend we are loyal and faithful to them, just like we do with the men in our lives. Secretly, we are jealous of each other, and we want all of the desirable things that other women have—most especially when it comes to our female friends’ things. And we consider men to be things. If one of our friends has a hot man, we want him to want us. We will do everything we can to seduce him. Not because we really want him—we don’t really want anybody. We do it because we are rarely happy, and we don’t want our girlfriends to be happy, either, and we want to boost our own egos more than anything else. And after we get him to fuck us, when our girlfriends find out that he has had sex with us, that’s when we finally get what we wanted in the first place. If we break up the previously happy couple, that’s fine, too. It’s all about our pussy, not hers. It’s about winning. We want a man whom we can’t have. We want a man who honestly doesn’t give a fuck about us, who doesn’t care if we come or go. That’s the kind of man we will pursue. Call them bad boys or call them whatever you want, that’s the kind of man we want – period. The kind of guy who will make us orgasm, crudely, and give us a huge sexual thrill in the bedroom, and then discard us like used toilet paper, and fuck our female friends afterwards, just because he can. (Just like we would do with his male friends.). We women are narcissistic masochists. We hate it when things are going well, especially if they continue to go well for long periods of time. We know down deep that we are fucked-up and not worthy of anything that is truly good. So when things are going well in a relationship, we eventually sabotage it. We just can’t help ourselves in this regard. We could have the greatest, most handsome, most well-hung husband in the world—a one-of-a-kind man who makes all of our girlfriends jealous; we could have the greatest children in the world, who are beautiful, well-behaved and ambitious; we could have the most enviable career imaginable; we could have all of the money and prestige and the truly good things in life, and we could repeatedly tell ourselves over and over, and believe, on the surface, that we would never cheat on our husbands. But down deep we know that it’s a lie. Because one day, we could walk into a grocery store, and some bad boy could whisper just the right combination of words in our ear, and the next thing you know, we’re at the Motel 6 getting it in the ass. That’s just how we are, and any woman—especially a hot woman—who says otherwise, is a liar.

Biancam13 · Accepted Answer

They are insecure, have lower morals than the average person and want to prove to themselves that they are hotter or more desirable than another woman (the wife.) Or to prove that they are so attractive that they can tempt someone to stray from their relationship. They have usually put themselves in direct competition with the wife.

Marriage has connotations with true love and the ultimate commitment to someone. So in their minds, "getting" a married man to stray is a much bigger achievement and boost to their ego than dating a single man. In this case, they like the challenge and it's a power play.

Some women also just don't care about people's feelings and are selfish, or they prefer the unavailability of married men because they themselves are unavailable in some way. They don't want to commit, so they "date" married men.

In the end, though, women who do this are unhappy deep down in some area of their lives. Contented people don't try to get between other people's relationships.

NathanDavis · Accepted Answer

okay... I did the responsible thing to do and actually looked for the actual report (not a study) a quiz for college kids is not study...

and in the quiz... participants were shown a candidate of their ideal partners so that's how it was presented to them

"this is your IDEAL DREAM PARTNER, one catch though.. they are already in a relationship, does this make them less interesting to you? 90% of women that were single still said "yes he still ideal to me" because he still checks all the good marks of their ideal partner plus... being in a committed exclusive relationship is another indicator of them being ideal... meanwhile, 30% of the women thought that if their ideal dream partner was still single then maybe that made him less preferable

now, the question never was " would you prefer to pursue a married man OVER a man that is not taken" that was never the question in the quiz... lol

another important observation from this report/poll/quiz was that... for all men, and for all women who were in a committed relationship ideal, the fact that their IDEAL DREAM PARTNER was already taken, made no difference... they were still INTERESTED on their ideal of a dream partner regardless of status

Lookingforthetruth · Accepted Answer

Women tend to go for men that other women want. It's why social experiments in which men do the following has resulted in an increase in female interest:

1. Wearing a wedding ring in public

2. Going out with a cute girl by your side

3. Posting pictures of you and said cute girl on social media

The net result is a mark increase in interest from women. Guys have even gotten women who friendzone them suddenly wanting to pursue them if they see them with a female that is more beautiful than them.

Reason:

1. Social proof. Women often require validation of other women that said male is worth pursuing. A wedding ring indicates/hints that a male can provide for said women and likely has resources.

2. Women often like to see if they can steal another woman's man as a power play to demonstrate their more attractive. Basically think of two cats fighting over a toy (man) and then throwing it away once they've won it.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I suppose they are provng to themselves that they are so hot that they can attract a man who is "forbidden."

Guy13 · Answer

It is amazing to me. They want free stuff without ownership and responsibility is all I can guess.  Free love, attention, and stuff without the “wife/same time and same space” baggage.

coachTanthony · Answer

Women are attracted to men who another woman has signed off on. It's called pre selective social proof. Probably the biggest attraction switch their is.

CubsterShura · Answer

The idea is if a man is married he is already a good man. The world out there feels scary for a woman where you just never know how a man is, way too many men out there put up a facade until they get what they want. Didn't you recently hear the news of a woman who went to see her long-distance boyfriend and got stabbed? But for many women it's not that deep they just enjoy the gratification of attracting a married man, the high of feeling superior to some other women because she bagged her husband.

Married men are the safer bet, so many women think they would rather have an affair and show that they are better than the women they are married with to secure a place.

Is the reason behind home-wrecking behavior understandable? Yes. Is it justifiable? Absolutely not, not only is it very logically flawed, because a man could be married to another woman but still not good for you, and a man who would cheat on his wife for you can cheat on you as well, and several other reasons I won't get into. You are deliberately throwing another woman under the bus for your own gain and you don't get to do that. It is normal to desire for a man who can provide security and all other good things in life. It is normal to feel special and wanted. How you go about finding them is what affects whether or not the behavior is acceptable.

msc545 · Answer

Anger is a prime motivator for this behavior. However:

It is not appropriate to make generalizations about why some women might choose to pursue relationships with married men, as every individual's motivations and circumstances are unique. However, some potential reasons why a person might engage in this type of behavior could include a desire for attention, a lack of self-esteem, a belief that they are entitled to pursue the person regardless of their marital status, or a belief that the person is unavailable and therefore less likely to reject them. It is important to recognize that relationships with married individuals are not healthy or acceptable, as they involve deceit and can cause harm to all parties involved, including the spouse and any children. It is always important to respect the boundaries and commitments of others, and to consider the potential consequences of one's actions before pursuing a relationship with someone who is already committed to someone else.

devonhx10 · Answer

Hmm. I'm not sure I can talk on behalf of all women, but some want to be the best woman so that means getting the best man. And the "best" man is the one who is wanted by other women. All the good guys are taken is a phrase for a reason.

I was married once and after 3 years my husband cheated on me with a long-time 'friend' and I can tell you why she went after my husband hard after ingratiating and embedding herself into my life for years. Of course, it is his fault equally. It took me a long time to get over the betrayal of them both. They both devastated me. She told me the reasons for the betrayal when I basically forced it out of her (this is not the first time she slept with a man already committed.) She told me she thought I was perfect and I made her insecure, so she wanted to feel like she could have what I have and do what I do. She did many other things to betray and sabotage me, but I didn't realise until she dated my husband. She wanted to see me upset and sad, and see me lose. I'm sure this is not the only reason, though. I just thought I'd give you some insight into one trifling homewrecker. I don't even know why she did it to other woman as well. I'm guessing low self-esteem. Oh well, she now has a reputation she can't get rid of because everyone knows what she and he did. Karma is a bitch.

dustybiker · Answer

Married men are already domesticated. All the rough edges that are irritating from single life are worn away, the grunt work is done. It’s alluring.

lightbulb27 · Answer

Women desire security and whatever is driving them inside, like offspring, status, etc... If they lack values to guide them, they see other established men,, those desired by other women have even more value, they see their success... and go for that. They learned how to manipulate men sexually long long ago. It may be they inside like the competitive feeling of screwing over other women... e. g. "spite". Maybe the learned this competing with their sisters or "friends". They are "gatherers" in essence, group think is common... what others value, they value. Taking someone whom is established is a lot safer than trying to find one that no other women want... e. g. security

These are emotionally sick people, but it's about getting what they want, passing on genes... they don't care. The only thing that make them change, is changing their hearts... and that is a lot of work they have to want.

Jesus tried...

CA4444 · Answer

Thats bs lol, but one thing that’s attractive is if the guy is stable and you feel he’s not needy for sex, he’s gonna have a totally different behavior if he’s married, also it will feel naughty and forbidden to both the man and women which will bring the tension up sexually

Anonymous · Answer

They're toxic. I used to work with a woman like this. She was really f***ed up. She would never have ANY interest in a guy till another woman was with him. Then all of a sudden she was interested.

I enjoyed observing her antics because she taught me a lot on how toxic, manipulative and plotting a woman can be.

Now I know all the signs and stay away like the plague when a woman exhibits them. She should have been a required course for all young men. 😆😆😆

LazerBean · Answer

I think it comes from a place of extremely low self esteem, and they feel that if they can "steal a man away" from another woman then it somehow proves that they are better than other women.

Anonymous · Answer

Some women do this because they are jealous of the woman in the relationship, and so to quash their jealousy they try to prove that they are just as attractive as her by being able to bag the same man as her. In her mind, if he likes her AND me, it means we are both on the same level.

I've seen this a few times where a girl views another girl as prettier, and in order to feel like she is on the same level she seduces her man or husband. It's funny because this doesn't actually prove anything or say anything about either girl and their attractiveness. It just proves that the man is a cheater. I've seen men cheat "up" and "down".

Blackmoonsns · Answer

Because women have an instinctual recognization that if a man is married to a woman he must have some high value that attracted that woman to begin with so it's like some other woman has already vented this man and find him of high quality so there's an attraction in that it's kind of like when someone takes a test for you and you just put your name on it

Sisters_Of_Time · Answer

I think it's because some people don't know how to get a man by themselves! Ya! A married man has been through a lot with his wife and together they are the person they are now! If you pursue a married man, you're too lazy to put in the work yourself and just want to get to the end product, which is already off limits!

Laracroft12234 · Answer

A. Some women want to see other women fail- and I say this as a woman. Not all women, but they're out there. They have insecurity issues that manifest in destroying somebody else's relationship because it somehow levels their playing field. They "win", they're better than her now. A gamer feels better when they beat another gamer in pvp, an athlete feels better when they beat another athlete. (This) woman feels better when she beats another woman. It might not even be about the man.

B. Not always the case either, but some of these are attractive, charming men. They have wives, but they're still attractive and charming. They also might have a good job and above average income. Much better prospect than the average Joe.

Harrycastl988 · Answer

My take on this is that women show interest in men who are taken as a test to see who is more desirable, them or the other girl. If the guy shows interest despite being with someone, the girl can assume that she's just as desirable, if not more.

I've seen it happen plenty of times where a woman will show interest in a dude and when he leaves his girl, she does a 180 and goes "nah." From the guy's perspective, he would be saying "wtf?" but it's a little obvious what was happening there when you consider womens egos in the equation.

Us guys do this too, we like girls who other men want. Social proof.

AnUglyBarnacle · Answer

I wouldn't say "prefer". But many women do like married men. Reasons: 1) something forbidden 2) being competitive with other women 3) "quality assurance" via another woman already vetting him

Miles1354 · Answer

I can contest to this. I've noticed that when I've been taken or had a girl on my arm, chicks seemed much more into me than when I'm single. I've also noticed that if a hot girl shows interest in me or I'm talking to a 10, her less hot friends will all of a sudden come onto me even if they weren't before. Girls compete with each other all the time. None of them are really friends with one other. This is why I don't trust women

Adaeva · Answer

In my inexperienced opinion that would only be true if the woman is not wanting a long term relationship. Otherwise, it may be that the married men that approach them are better looking and otherwise more desirable than the single men that approach them.

purplepoppy · Answer

Look at it this way. You go into a shop to buy something and your confronted with a choice between one brand that sells out fast and one that no one wants and ends up in the bargain bin. Which do you choose?

Why do some women prefer to pursue married men?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Why do some women prefer to pursue married men?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.