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I'm in a circle rn that exists bc I ended up getting a reputation among people who happen to be acquainted with someone I've stopped talking to. He turns up every once in a while, but I'm not reaching out to him. The thing is, I don't know what to tell people who know that we're acquainted. As far as I know, everyone keeps him at arm's length... except the string of gals who abruptly stop talking to anyone who knows him.
He's a very... "Bros and Hoes" sort of guy, but never treats women in a respectful way. He's utilitarian in all his interactions, but flirts his ass off with a gal till he gets what he wants. Apparently I was the one exception, having told him to shove off bc he was not respectful of my time, etc.
No one I know says, "Oh, he's a GREAT guy." Folks just see him as "the party guy" with the big wallet. He is the sort of guy who makes sure he's never ignored bc he has the wallet to back up his FOMO.
Long story short, whatever tf he wanted (or thought he wanted), he didn't get it from me... and now we're stuck in a common circle. I'm not sure what to say/do when his name comes up or if he turns up in a room. I know I'll be seeing him either this month or next. I don't want any sort of aggravation.
Advice?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
5Opinion
You might need to have an initially high aggravation level to tell him to not seek you to have future lower levels of discomfort. Honesty is best policy, and I'm sure you can speak it to this "less than average" guy (per your other question) firmly, but respectfully.
I'm just feeling worn out and don't want to address him at all. The chemistry always wins out for some reason. I don't think either one of us can help it much. I'm not sure which is more taxing... avoiding him or dealing with him. Either is exhausting rn. I don't know how else to explain it.
If people ask about him, the classy move is to say that it ended for reasons that you prefer to not discuss.
I always tell the truth with people.
Just the truth.
"He's an a-hole/dbag"... Hmm. too direct. Also, it makes ME look bad to say something like that.
lol. Why r u so obsessed with him
Honestly? I don't know. I'm trying to shake it off. The mf struck my soul like lightening the day we met. Now I just stay away from him, but we're in a shared circle so I have to sort this out somehow.
But to be fair the feeling's mutual. He's always the one to come up to me even when he knows I'm avoiding him.
Struck your soul?
Yup. We both felt it. Both fought it. And now there's a big old mess.
How did they strike your soul? How do u both look
We just looked at each other and stuck like glue for two years. Everyone thought we were bf-gf because of how he acts in public, but behind the scenes he's very thoughtless and selfish. Not my sort of person. The chemistry is killer, though, and he's pissed that I never gave in to him. Apparently everyone does.
The Truth.