Guys, do you make a difference between girls you want to date and girls you want to sleep with?

Question

guys, do you make a difference between girls you want to date and girls you want to sleep with? if yes, then why?

bobair · Accepted Answer

This is a fun question!

Here's how I see it, from my "guy" point of view...

My sexual attraction for a girl can be completely superficial. This is an illogical attraction based on my base animal instincts. I don't need to know her to want to touch her sexually.

My emotional attraction is based more on my intellectual and emotional rapport with a girl, and this only comes after having gotten to know her. If we don't connect or share just the right amount of ideals and such, then I won't develop an emotional attraction.

The perfect girlfriend, of course, is a girl who is attractive physically AND emotionally.

BUT there are plenty of young guys who are only interested in how a girl makes him look (do his friends approve, etc) so they'll date any girl who's hot no matter how bad a match she is.

AND we guys have another trick up our sleeves... we don't need to connect with a girl emotionally before we sleep with her. Many of us can have casual sex without any intent of long term intimacy.

I suspect you get all this already, so here are my final thoughts...

If you're a girl who wants a guy who's into MORE than just sex then remove sex from the table until you FEEL the intimacy and connection.

How can you tell?

The guy seeking sex will keep everything superficial... he'll stick to compliments about your looks and your body and he'll always be trying to get you into bed as fast as possible. And he'll be grumpy when you resist him.

The guy seeking a relationship will do more than try to buy you gifts and pay you compliments. He'll want to have long deep conversations late into the night. He'll respect any sexual boundaries you provide... and you SHOULD have boundaries... it'll make him respect you more and it'll AMP up his attraction for you.

If he's not truly seeking rapport and connection then he's likely only trying to GET something from you... like sex or approval or both.

If you want to be the type of girl guys WANT a relationship with... then have clear and healthy sexual and emotional boundaries.

Being the one-night-stand girl makes you sexually attractive because it implies having sex with you will be easy. BUT it also implies that keeping you as a girlfriend will be a struggle (because we'll assume the next guy will catch you just as easily.)

Being the girl who's fun YET who keeps guys at a distance, displays that you are selective and have boundaries. This is VERY attractive. Making it had for the average guy to get past your defenses helps display your value, and makes your boyfriend realize you're not going to be stolen by the next hot guy you meet.

Being selective, having boundaries, and being fun are the most attractive GIRLFRIEND qualities you can display. Plus, of course, being fit and looking your best.

~ Robby

My Blog ( link )

YouKnowThatGuy · Accepted Answer

Definitely. It's not something I do consciously or anything. But my brain won't allow me to sleep with a woman I'm interested in dating right off the bat. Hooking up with a woman when we aren't really together instantly kills any possibility of a relationship with her for me. I don't see her as a bad person, or as less of a person, it's just something that occurs in my brain. Sleeping with somebody without that romantic spark there, it just kills any possibility for something to bloom for me.

I would expect it to be the same visa versa though. If I slept with a woman when we weren't together, I wouldn't expect her to want a relationship with me at any point down the road. I guess somewhere in the back of my mind, I've drawn a very defined line between women I'll hook up with and women I'll date.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

id say..even though you did direct your question to guys. .. that the difference would be, if a guy wanted to sleep with you versus date, they would have slept with you already or at least try to on the first night out, and that would be their sole intention. If they wanted to date you, yeah it would be on their mind but they would try to show you that its not by waiting for you to give the okay?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Girls you want to sleep with: 6-8 on looks scale.

Girls they want to date: 8+ on the looks scale.

Guys will f*** girls they only find so-so attractive, but never exclusively f*** them. That's the most common difference. Occasionally, it's a personality conflict. But in a friends with benefits situation, it's always looks.

IHateMeganFox · Accepted Answer

I want to know this, sadly I do not have an answer. But obviously there is a difference otherwise you probably wouldn't of thought of asking this question.

Anonymous · Answer

yes definitely,

if I'm crushing on a girl its because I like her personality, the way she carries herself and generally I find her really attractive (though I'm a bit biased because of the whole liking her personality thing). also my existing relationship with the girl doesn't get taken into account

if I just want to sleep with the girl, then I just find a girl that is fun/entertaining and is also up for a bit of fun, that's not to mean she isn't as above, but I just don't have that emotional connection with her. it also depends on the type of existing relationship I have with this girl (aka if she is a good friend, then its not happening).

Hope this helps

martyfellow · Answer

In my single days I considered any girl who would spend time with me a potential all-night partner. If I like her enough to spend tmie with her, I sure thought about taking off her clothes...

There are guys who chase after women they don't even like..don't want to date them but still want them in bed...but I'm not one of them.

WoodWizzard87 · Answer

Kind of a one sided question...  We date women, so we can have a relationship and have sex.  On the other hand, men want to date women that are down to earth I.e. Girl next door type.  If your looking for a hookup, it could be the hot bitchy prude at the bar that gets you all hot for five minutes.  If I women is level headed and has high self esteem, she is relationship material, if not... She's a throw away chick.

rob83 · Answer

Ok this question is pretty easy...Yes there is a difference established...For the simple fact that..Jus like women, a physical attraction is completely different than an emotional attraction...I can physically want to sleep with a female but when it comes to personality, if there isn't one, then I jus couldn't see myself going any further than the bedroom door with...Even then jus because a female is hot doesn't neccesarely make me want to lay her down...there are many turn off's and every1 is different...its like..jus because I like the color red, doesn't mean that I would buy a ferrari, don't get me wrong I would test drive it and want it and even if I did have the money I still wouldn't buy it..i would rather buy me a truck and motorcycle to park in my garage...because that is what I like and enjoy more

Mexicoman101 · Answer

Well there are some women I want to sleep with badly but do not want to be with because they are clearly hoes. There is a saying that you cannot turn a hoe into a housewife. But there are other people I would want to pursue an active relationship with.

LightUp · Answer

I can't believe you didn't add a poll for this question! Me myself make such a list, and no I don't wanna be a lot of girls. I just wan't to find that right girl for me. I don't know but I will feel guilty if I were to sleep with women who I haven't developed feelings for , not meaning that just  as soon as I like a girl I want to have sex with her.

MrEM4N · Answer

Women I only want to sleep with I'm more abrupt with and less concerned about their feelings. That being said, I wouldn't pursue someone strictly for their body unless both of us knew we were only in it for the physical. I'll try to develop a broader range of emotion with girls I'm trying to date and diversify our conversations.

evo220 · Answer

very simple, the better-looking the girl (or the more she's our type), the more we're likely to keep her around.

if I'm just messing around with a girl and not trying to do other stuff with her then I don't find her attractive or interesting enough to date exclusively

shyguy89 · Answer

the same thing applys to girls how do you make a difference between just friends or more than that..but I will answer your question ..its simple if you act like a girlfriend then we treat you like that but if you act like a naughty girl we will treat you as such..i don't personally. I like girls that walk around like they own you before they know you..lol so its how you carry youself as a person really

ElijahCynicism · Answer

Uhh.. I don't need to fancy a girl I wanna get it on with, she just has to be bearable, ahaha. I have to fancy a girl I want to go out with. But I don't even date, so really, even if I do fancy her, its not likely I'll do anything but sleep with her - you know, in that direction. I see them all as friends, though, be it sexual, romantic or just that I lust after them.

micricjac · Answer

id rather have a relationship not a one night

the idea of sleeping with a girl I barely know isn't really as good as spending time with someone getting to know them

you can't out much when there asleep

Cantremember · Answer

Honestly, I have seen that behavior much more in girls. But that could just be my experience with it. What I find more common is to not change status e.g. From friends with benefits to relationship. But again, girls see opportunity there where I don't.

baliguy11 · Answer

not really.  if I am attracted it is for both.  It might not turn out that way but I have decided in about 30 seconds if I would want to sleep with you.  that is what guys do.  We do not analyse the intricate aspects of our potential relationship bla bla bla.  Nope, she is hot. like her. want to date her and want to ...

Konnour · Answer

Actually, no. There is a difference between who are relationship material and who are bedtime-entertainment material but either of them are date-able.

And sometimes you need a bit to wine-and-dine a girl to pull her in bed, even if she also is looking only for it aswell.

When you're still dating it's nothing serious at all. Just a fun, no time to make demands.

BoobMan · Answer

Any girl I'd want to date, I'd have to want to sleep with her. Or I wouldn't bother dating her.

Would I sleep with a girl I wouldn't date? Not generally, because of the girl but maybe the situation. Like if she was visiting town for a bit but ultimately lives elsewhere. Then longer term dating becomes impractical.

dezzz · Answer

There is no better sex in the world than with a hot chick you absolutely hate.

The down side of this is that it is short term. Cause if you enjoy it for to long you kinda begin to be into her and its all downhill from there...

Also guys want to sleep with a lot of women who they would be ashamed to be dating in public - I assume you don't consider getting together, on more or less regular basis, for a f*ckfest to be dating.?

For most guys that is a perfect relationship.

Yeahhbro · Answer

Yes if she is OK good looking or even ugly in some situations (madly wasted) I would just want to do her . But if she is good looking and is compatible with me, I will want to make her my girlfriend.

makhbota · Answer

No I don't want a girl to sleep with  i just want the RIGHT girlfriend  the girlfirned who is hard to get <3

mexicanswag · Answer

idk to me, its all the same because both of some type of relationship just one you take it seriously and the other you dont:)

noobseaplenty · Answer

yes I do, because believe it or not women want to have sex also without getting into a relationship

Rashad · Answer

Yes their are difference between girls I want to sleep with and girls I want date.  Idk how to explain it I just feel it :)

Xx_DRE_xX · Answer

It soley based on the qualities of the girl. If she can be girlfriend material then yeah we could date otherwise she'll be thrown in the other pile.

eyanevans · Answer

Yes. A girl that I would want to date has a likable personality, they are pretty, and get along well with me very well. But girls that I would just like to sleep with are pretty, but are more aggressive sexually.

WeaponZero · Answer

I don't want to sleep with anyone.

Alpha93 · Answer

I can't explain it.

Anonymous · Answer

No.

Guys, do you make a difference between girls you want to date and girls you want to sleep with?

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