My boyfriend thinks I am just average. Is that normal?

[Anonymous]

I live with my boyfriend. He treats me very well and we have a great relationship. About a week ago we were having a normal discussion and he blurted out that he thought I was just average looking. He said it was okay because he was just average too. That I was all he wanted and he loved me. Although those words were nice. I can't help focusing on the average part. In previous relationships I have been called pretty and beautiful. Looks aren't really important to me but I just thought that your boyfriend was meant to find you beautiful? He said that he loves everything about me and looks don't matter to him at all. I can't help feeling depressed and insecure. I didn't feel insecure before but now it feels bad. What do I do?

[Anonymous]

Maybe he meant to say that he's attracted to you and cares about you, even though you are a normal human. Sometimes guys mean well, but say things the wrong way. A lot of guys seem to be surprised when they figure out they can fall in love with someone other than a supermodel. Kind of like getting a great meal at a local diner -- you can't stop feeling happily surprised that you got something extraordinary at some place you can afford and get to easily.

[Asker]

yeah back handed compliment. Although that is pretty depressing thought. At least two people in the world should think you are beautiful. Your mother and your boyfriend.

[Opinion Owner]

He might just be a realist. I actually think its pretty romantic to say "We aren't supermodels, but we're madly in love and wildly attracted to each other."

[Asker]

I suppose you have a good point and it makes me feel better about the situation. I mean we are madly in love and we have a lot of attraction.

[Opinion Owner]

It's no shame to be a normal human being :)

[Anonymous]

i think this is one of those instances when a guy meant to say something nice and it came out sounding offensive because girls are more sensitive. I get complimented on my looks a lot but I've only been meeting guys who just want my body and my looks and I'd much rather hear that someone loves the real me than my looks. it gets old.

[Anonymous]

He's just trying to "knock you down a peg". Maybe he thinks you've been too full of yourself lately, or just the opposite- that he knows you're out of his league and if he diminishes your attractive qualities, you will stick around.

[Asker]

Thanks. I never thought of this.

[ty-lady]

Well said...!

[Opinion Owner]

It's an unfortunate unintentional game couples play. Kinda like when the girlfriend flirts with another guy to gauge a reaction from the boyfriend, etc.

[Asker]

It's dangerous because it can make you want to seek confidence elsewhere.

[Opinion Owner]

Absolutely. It's just all-around uncalled for. I mean there are other ways that are non-detrimental to show his love and keep your interests. His plan will eventually backfire. Why would someone down vote me? LOL.

[Xx_DRE_xX]

Nothing at all, It's not like he insulted you. Just suck it up.

[Asker]

you don't think it's insulting?

[Xx_DRE_xX]

He insulted because he thinks your Average but loves you for who you are? Nope.

[Asker]

but isn't your boyfriend meant to think you are beautiful?

[Xx_DRE_xX]

Yes, if you trully are but if he's being blunt then so be it. I'm not going to give a girl compliments unless she works for them.

[Asker]

Well beauty is something different to each person. Work for compliments?

[Xx_DRE_xX]

Yes as in she's trying to really impress me with her looks or by doing something that I like. That's the problem girls just get compliments freely and suddenly think their god's gift.

[Asker]

I thought compliments kept people feeling secure and appreciated

[Xx_DRE_xX]

Then how come girls rarely give them?

[Asker]

Well I do all the time.

[Xx_DRE_xX]

your one out of plenty who dont.