I'm shy about my body and scared to be intimate with a guy

[catofenner]

I have stretch marks on my hips and butt, its embarrassing, and when I was a baby I got a type of Herpes Virus that cannot be transferred to anyone else. Not through blood or spit or other bodily fluids. So what this virus does is causes cold sores from time to time, and seriously itchy skin... I can only use ultra gentle soap products, can't even have bubble bath! What girl doesn't like bubble bath? Anyway this virus has attacked my skin and I have an OCD of scratching constantly so obviously I have scarring. Mostly on my shoulders arms and back, sometimes even my bum... This is so embarrassing... anyway I hate my body, I despise seeing myself naked in a mirror and think how can any man want to be with me? Because of this I used to cut myself, I have stopped now but its just made it worse.

I wish I knew how men felt about scars and stretch marks... Some say yay some say nay so what does the average guy think? I'm 5.6 and weigh 56kg... I have a pear shaped body and always dreamed of being stick thin, Because it seems like that's the only thing men like now...

What's' your outlook?

Updates

+1 y

Hey!

Just want to say thanks for all your comments, and all of them have made me a lot more willing to be confident and know that it takes the right guy to make my flaws un-noticable. I've been so worried about it, but all of your comments have lifted a great weight off my shoulders and I'm going to try harder to not let it get to me.I've tried Bio Oil, but it bruns and makes the owies worse. So I have spoken to a dermatologist and they still want ot run some tests. But will keep trying! Thanx!

[electromagnetic]

I'm not even a guy but I'm going to voice my opinion to help.

First off, stretch marks are common. A lot of people have them & a lot of people will get them throughout their life time. I'm a small girl but I used to have them too. How you deal with them will help boost your confidence although, they seem to go away with time. If you really want them gone, try bio-oil or even aloe Vera. Both great for skin and will help dramatically.

Secondly, if you're honest with a guy & explain your virus to them, they will understand if they are there for more than sexual contact. Just explain to them that it can't be passed on & that sometimes you break out. Sort of like acne & everyone gets acne.

Third, if you're really sensitive about your skin and worried people will stare or judge you, bring your lotion in a small tube wherever you go. I have aczema and sometimes, I break out at the gym or even while walking in public. I just take my lotion out and treat it.

Fourthly, scars happen to everyone. I have some and so so do a zillion other people in the world. You can't avoid them. I call mine my battle scars because they are what made me learn about all the dumb stuff I did. I have scars from blades although I never cut myself before. Again, if you feel that your scars are really putting down your confidence, treat them! As your doctors if you can use aloe Vera and bio-oil or if they can prescribe you something.

Lastly, being skinny isn't exactly all it's cracked up to be. I would know. The best shape a person can be is size healthy and confident not a jean size 2. A lot of girls are embarrassed when they see themselves in the mirror. It's mainly because the mind is self critical of its host. We have this ideal body shape in our mind and when we don't see it, we judge and get depressed. Happens to everyone. Even on a good day. You might think you look bad, but there are plenty of guys out there that will see you differently. When you find one ( & I'm sure you will ) keep these things in mind.

Stay positive. That's the one thing that can really help you out. Others will learn to love you, if you love yourself first.

I hope this helped you & good luck.

[Stacyzee]

Be honest and open about your condition to the man you show interest in. Answer all of his questions he asks, don't be shameful of your condition, it sort of makes you who you are. If a guy really likes you he will accept you for all of your "flaws".

If a guy chooses to judge you over something you have no control over, then is that really someone you want to date? If he is like that, there will be better guys out there.

Also, the pear shaped body is very sexy. Every guy has a different preference.

[Flower-petal]

If he's really into you, he won't care about that. Relax and enjoy

[Bowesy]

Arseholes, players and those that don't truly like you for who you are, judge you based on your appearance.

If someone does honestly like you for you, he'll accept you for who you are.

What you think is ugly; he'll think makes you beautiful.

What you are insecure about; he'll hold your hand and guide you.

If you want to change then it's down to yourself to make the honest decision in wanting to change for yourself. Just remember your appearance is only part of who you are.

Imagine yourself, who you want to be. Impress it into your mind, and remember when you worry about your appearance and your scars; go back to that person and hold true.

In short- trust yourself and put faith in that there are some people that don't want the fake and those hidden behind masks.

On a side- these stick thin girls aren't all that attractive all the time. Curvy girls are also attractive.

[Loools]

I love this answer :)

[Bowesy]

I appreciate it Loools.

[iNeedYourAdvice]

To be honest, you sound really sweet and you're right... Most guys only like stick thin girls, for me personally, I love curvy. You have both to worry about in that department. As for scars and stretch marks, seriously I really don't mind. You're sweet, kind and I think that the scars actually add to a person's personality. I also have scars, probably not to the same extent but I guess I see them as a physical representation of some of my problems. I know that probably doesn't help, but I guess this helps you see that even a small portion of guys are interested in curvy girls :)

[art84]

I honestly wouldn't care about the stretch marks on your butt and hips. As for itchy skin, I wouldn't mind as long as you didn't break out in hives. Can you at least cover the stretch marks with some sort of cream? Not every guy wants a thin girl like say Taylor Swift for example unless you strive to be like them. If you feel bad about your body shape, why not try losing weight like diet and exercise. I have stretch marks on my body as well and don't even care about it. But it's not on my butt or hips, its on my shoulder plus I have a scar on my man boobs since I was born premature.

[xridhar]

Hey Honey !

If Guy Loves you from his Heart <3

he will not think of your body !

The way you wrote your felling any guy will fall in love !

my opinion is you are Good Heart Girl ! the person gone be with you he will be dam

Tell to the guy who love you, he will be all-ways your

all the best !