Scared of getting intimate with women? Help appreciated.

[Anonymous]

I am attracted to women but the thought of getting physical honestly scares me. It is a very real fear. I could really like a girl but if things advanced I know I would get scared and end it. I am thinking of seeing a therapist soon. Would this be a good idea?

To give a better idea of what I mean:

The thought of being alone on a date with a girl is scary.

The thought of kissing is scary.

The thought of a women seeing me naked is scary.

Asking the girl out is not what I fear. What I fear is if she says "yes", what's next? What am I going to say when alone together? I am uncomfortable with most aspects of life that are supposed to be everyday things.

I have very low self esteem as a result of BDD and social anxiety disorder. I feel like I am going to be alone forever as I simply don't have the social skills most people are born with.

Updates

+1 y

If it's not obvious I have never done anything and my profiles age is wrong. I am actually 20 and in college.

[BVBgurl]

calm down there buddy it'll be ok! most guys have a very real fear of losing their virginity and being judged by a woman. to help calm yourself down, take a hot shower and just keep telling yourself that everything is going to be alright: you don't have to do anything you don't want to. what you need to do then is find a nice girl (who perhaps is a virgin too) and take baby steps toward a more physical relationship. open up to her and tell her your fears of getting too intimate and she'll be sure to respect that you were able to be so honest with her. just go slow. everything will happen naturally and on its own time when the moment is right. :)

[Anonymous]

dude, calm down, you don't have to kiss anyone or do anything! just let happen, what will happen :) Just make plans for dates etc. and if she kisses you, whatever, if you don't like it, ask her to stop if you are uncomfortable, just say so. nothing HAS to happen. if you feel you want to or if she is giving you the signal, kiss her! but like I said you don't have to do anything :) the moment will bring, whatever it will bring. :)

[Shameneyes]

Try dating a female friend that you have known for a while, because dating shouldn't be scary it's supposed to be something extremely enjoyable XD you need to be comfortable before you can ever really move forward in a relationship :) otherwise it will just be painfully awkward

[Anonymous]

I had a similar problem. It was serious enough that I often had to run to the bathroom during dates/hanging out to throw up from sheer anxiety, even though I could hide my nervousness in other ways fairly well.

My only advice is to take it really slow with somebody you like. Little steps. It will be hard, but it gets easier over time, and you'll build off good experiences. Life isn't easy for people like us, but in the end, when we succeed, the victory is so much more precious :)

[LightUp]

i feel the same. But when we were young we were afraid of girls or hated them and were afraid to talk to them,but now we like to talk to them like hopefully my (and your) fear of sex will dissapear in time.

[KathrynTaylor]

Look, the ideas of a prostitute, therapy and dating someone you know really well are great. I’ve met a few guys around your age with intimacy fears. It’s not uncommon. It’s just not discussed. In the end, what it boils down to is that you have two choices-be bold and go for what you want, or miss out and live a life full of regrets.

[69meinthebathroom]

alot of people will down this but go "get physical" with a prostitute she won't judge and there you'll be comfortable..problem solved