Do you have a fear of intimacy (in the non-sexual way)?

Question

GurlMaster40 · Accepted Answer

I said I do fear it. I have to feel safe with the people around me physically and mentally before I can open up. I grew up not feeling very safe mostly mentally around my dad so I am trying to learn better. I have recently started to share some troubling things in my life with one of my closest friends. I have come to trust her, and the guys that are sort of within our friend group. They all make feel very safe. They are friends from my church and my church is my most happy and safe space. I have opened up a little bit to the girls in my small group, but the girl I opened up to I shared a lot more with her. I have started to open up to people in my own and grow in mental intimacy within my friend groups. I am starting to realize that with all the bad things going on in my life, and the fact that it won’t stop, that if I don’t tell people about things, then it will take a lifetime for me to tell them everything that is going in my life that has a negative impact on me. So yes I do lack mental intimacy but, the important part is that I am working on it and getting better at it day by day.

DizzyDesii · Accepted Answer

But isn't intimacy sexual? I’m confused lmao. Unless you mean these other types If so, then no i dont fear the majority. Maybe physical if approached with the idea too early in the relationship

Chazmatazz269 · Accepted Answer

Not a real thing. For every meaningful psychological diagnosis there is a term, often derived from Latin or named for the first person to discover and expose the condition. “Fear of intimacy” is pop psychology at best, and pop psychology is a fucking dumpster fire. Full stop.
People, mostly women, use this nonsensical term to explain why men don’t want to commit to THEM specifically. The apparent hypocrisy is that if a man thinks a woman should commit to him but she’s not inclined, he’s controlling and abusive while she’s brave and empowered. Meanwhile, if a woman expects a man to commit and he’s not inclined, he’s “afraid of commitment” and she deserves better, because there couldn’t possibly be a good reason for a man to NOT want to spend his entire life with her. Or literally any woman by the prevailing standard. All women are god’s gift, and any man would be lucky to have one. It’s some of the most sexist nonsense ever written in modern history, and you’re eating it up like turkey on Thanksgiving day! Ell oh ell!

Therisinghero12 · Accepted Answer

Somewhat, it really depends on the person, some people I'm just comfortable with and don't worry, but most I can't for some reason, I get a lump in my throat when trying to say certain things and my brain tells me that I'd be a creep if I touched them at all, even if it's just a tap on the shoulder. Makes me feel bad cause I can never tell my friends that I love them too when they say it to me, I hope they know. One upside is it's super easy to tell if I'm comfortable with someone because I won't hesitate to reach out and touch them xD

Pinay_ako · Answer

I only fear it when I don’t feel the same about the person and they read my signals wrong 😑

BlueStripedSoul · Answer

I freakin' love intimacy. Just things like kissing or spooning a girl in my embrace to just chill and/or chat is as good sex sometimes. I love the closeness and the bonds those moments can create between two people, so I'm all for it. I'm kind of a snuggle bug by nature, so I'm always down for some intimacy time when the moment presents itself. ☺️

fiveinthemorning · Answer

I don’t fear intimacy.

Just last night my wife fell asleep a few minutes before me (per usual). Lying next to me she turned over and firmly bumped me with her arm, she woke me up when I was probably at stage NREM 2 or 3. I woke up slightly confused and a bit worried when I felt the dead weight of her arm on me, I had a quick flash of her dying next to me & her last words saying “I love you”. This happened in a flash I don't know wth is wrong with me. Scared I quickly said “ you okay?” She mumbled nonsense and fixed her position. I snapped to reality within seconds.

I do not fear intimacy; but, fear losing the one I’m intimate with.

Ευδεμονια · Answer

I have fear of intimacy and have people discover my faults and my defects. I use to shield myself behind a wall of courtesy and rightfulness but I know I have a weak inside.
I don’t have a lot of friends and the ones that know well me are very few.
Intimacy is showing the others the steel you seem to be made by is in reality bronze, and bronze is only a weak material that melts rapidly.

Wsx2wsx2ws · Answer

My life is full of severed relationships. It was a constant feature. I would gain friends then lose them by being uprooted and planted somewhere new. Each time it was harder and harder to make that step to be real friends, intimate friends.
I have also had women who I went the scary mile with to get close to make that fear all real.
I want to be close to people and make real friends. But there is that invisible.0000000000001 thing that holds me just this side of it.

Puppystarfish23 · Answer

My middle stister has this she hates being touched. If I try to hug her she hits me or bites me. The only people who can touch her is her boyfriend and my mum.

I don't like it much myself especially when it's someone I'm not that close with it makes me feel uncomfortable but not at the same length as my stister.

As for you update I'm not surprised everything is about sex to half the people on this site maybe they should focus more on learning to read

Juxtapose · Answer

There is a fear that the intimacy is just transient and ultimately the person that is saying all these wonderful things to me is not going to love me at all one day.

I would like to drop my guard for once but eh..

VIVANT · Answer

I don’t so much think about it as in “omg I fear it” but I know hen actually IN intimate situations I get overwhelmed fats retract and I just don’t really know how to navigate even if I especially when I really like someone.

Dontaaaa · Answer

Yes, I'm not gonna talk about how the fear came to be, but for the past couple of years I've had the the new fear of getting close to people and even more so starting feeling and thinking it was pointless in even trying to even make bonds with people.

Bit by bit I'm doing this to try and get over the fear, but yeah.

DrewJay · Answer

There is a bit of a little fear honestly you called me on that. Been by myself for a very long time. It is something I will have to adapt and change. I

Jamie05rhs · Answer

I do not! I want it very much. But I won't let myself be "seen" by just anyone! I'm very cautious. And yes, I do have a lot of walls. (Sorry!)

Kaneki05 · Answer

Nope love it. I have a fear of abandonment instead and lose interest in those that leave me alone.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I don't fear it too much but maybe just a little. I guess the fear of rejection is what makes me wonder about things

Ruenella_ · Answer

I don't believe so. I like when someone is intimate with me and affectionate but I was never raised that way so I'm not sure how to do those things. Never really had the opportunity either.

Blueeyes81 · Answer

I do. The moment I start to notice I start to pull away which always kills the relationship. Everytime I tell myself I'm not going to pull away but still do. It's like this panic sets in and things are moving too fast.

Texaskid1 · Answer

I don't get close to any women since I have burned several times before. I have become to cynical to allow any real intimacy to occur.  So it is.

EmbraceThePain · Answer

So, are you saying a relationship with absolutely zero sexuality?

exitseven · Answer

I would not call it fear. Maybe dislike is a better term.

JSmuve · Answer

I don't fear it. I'm just not comfortable with it. It's awkward, vulnerable, and uncomfortable so I avoid it as best as I can.

loveslongnails · Answer

I'm not "afraid" of it, I just think its a lot of smoke and mirrors and in the end, nobody really cares about you as much as you care about you.

DoctorSex · Answer

I'm very intense and intimate in relationships. My personality type is ENFJ. Kind regards, DoctorSex

summer_of_91 · Answer

I don't fear intimacy but after a string of bad dates I've got tired of having to answer the same questions over and over again

YHL6965 · Answer

Kind of, it's always kind of hard for me to show who I truly am when it comes to the more personal aspects of myself.

EarthRealm · Answer

Why would I Have a Adrenaline rush  From The idea of Being close to someone. Doesn’t make any sense  Not sure where you people get these ideas 💡 but you do you.

Valso · Answer

It depends on what you mean by "intimacy in the non-sexual way". If you mean "sharing feelings" and stuff like that, forget it! I'd rather die than tell anyone how I feel about them.

Jouth · Answer

naw I'm scared of ghosts and stuff Intimacy can't get me

shanshu · Answer

Not at all but I have no luck with getting a girlfriend to even worry or not worry about that anyway

Mango77 · Answer

I do ngl as I've been hurt a lot in the past once I feel myself getting attached I back off.

red324 · Answer

No but I start getting nervous when it gets to the point of us having sex for some reason. Who knows. I don't trust people

domenico07 · Answer

I don’t understand the question. If you mean talking about myself to others, I hate it. If you mean PDA, I hate it

Anonymous · Answer

What is intimacy? like letting them in on all my secrets and scars?

SenseiSeptred · Answer

I don't fear intimacy, I fear the reasons behind it that lead to utter betrayal.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Tough question. Intimacy can mean different things to different people.

playingaround · Answer

No I don't no I don't fear intimacy because intimacy is in everything we do depending on who you're with by or talking to

dolemite89 · Answer

I don't know what that even means 😂

The_Shadow_Dweller · Answer

I have a fear of commitment.

anmalrotb · Answer

I think i used to but that it came from overthinking

anon1903 · Answer

In both sexual and non sexual context <3

Secks · Answer

I have a fear of other things

es20490446e · Answer

Only if I see reasons to fear it.

driven159 · Answer

bring on all the intimacy

NathanDavis · Answer

nope

Luopio27 · Answer

I dont know what you mean.

countrygirl8754 · Answer

Nope

Anonymous · Answer

All I know is lust, I can't seem to adjust

_deeznuts · Answer

I dont think so

jahaims · Answer

Nope

Fuentes · Answer

No I do not

Sketti2021 · Answer

Nay...

eagle1951 · Answer

nope

Iron_Man · Answer

Nope

Do you have a fear of intimacy (in the non-sexual way)?

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