Hi avoidants. How have you overcome your fear of intimacy?

[Anonymous]

I am an avoidant. I love people but the minute they love me back, I run miles away and hate them to the intensity of their love for me. I find it hard to fall in love or being in long-term friendships. Have anyone of you overcame this?

[AI Opinion]

Navigating the world of love and connections can be like walking through a beautifully tricky maze, can’t it? Your experience sounds a lot like a dance—one step forward, two steps back. Overcoming fear of intimacy, especially for us avoidants, involves a gentle process of self-awareness and gradually stretching our comfort zones. It starts by understanding that the fear often stems from past experiences or deep-seated beliefs about ourselves and relationships. Reflecting on these, perhaps with a counselor or a trusted friend, can open the doorway to change.

Then, there's the power of baby steps. Start small with sharing your thoughts and needs in relationships, and acknowledge your feelings throughout the process. Remember, it's about progress, not perfection. The more you practice, the less daunting it will become. Embrace the journey, celebrate your wins, no matter how small, and keep in mind, your capacity for love and connection is a beautiful part of who you are. Let’s keep the conversation going; it’s in sharing that we find new paths forward and perhaps, even a few laughs along the way. 😊

[Anonymous]

I think its more common than you might realise. Though often it's not that this is a general pattern of behavioir over that you get the wrong types of interest sufficiently often that you start to see everyone showing interest in the same light so your innate self defence instincts kick in and become self sabotaging.

The good thing is, your still young. The way to fix this is to find people you get along with and just accept your like this. If you find someone where you wish you where less so like this, just let them know your glad their about and to have patience with you. The good guys will find the time, and not pressure you. Though, its always a bit of a risk rejecting everyone out right, make sure you reflect accurately when someone is special too you, even if you want to run.

At the end of the day, this will be something which runs through your life and it's just managing fears.

The important thing is to know who you don't want to lose lightly, let them know the inner you, so that if you do lose them by 'running miles' you know they had the chance to know you and that they didn't follow up shows maybe their not the one, the magical one, who makes you feel you ought to stay.

Blessed be.

[SolitarySolace]

Crummy bullshit

[Opinion Owner]

@SolitarySolace yeah, that comment is rather. Still, you tried, that counts :)

[strateguy632]

no but therapy can help define the fear.