Hello, 29M and life’s pretty good on the face of it, I'm pretty smart, have a high paying and almost “sexy” (can’t believe I wrote that too..) self employed job in finance and travel a lot taking my work with me I’m terrible with women though, have never had a relationship, only been with women a handful of times while highly intoxicated/high When a women shows interest in me I instinctively raise my defense mechanisms and shut that shit down. Like a women would say “you’re so funny” and touch my arm, I would get anxious and would say something dumb like “I’m not funny at all” in a non sarcastic way making the whole situation awkward It’s gotten even worse now, I get really anxious if any girl shows a tiny bit of interest in me; I will just be waiting for some other guy to come in and start taking with her just so I don’t have to Even when women DM me on insta I’ll purposely respond in a silly unattractive fashion just so they would stop I met a women abroad and we really clicked. We spent a couple of months hanging everyday as friends. She asked me to sleep with her on 3 occasions but I just responded in an awkward fashion. She got pissed off and met some other guy. I then ignored her DMs; she finally told me to fuck off. This particular women was sexually experienced and would have been ok if I told her that I wasn’t. She hinted at it a few times; I often answer questions “politically” when asked about previous relationship. But after a month of hanging out I’m sure she figured it out Initially I was relieved when she told me not to contact her, now I realize I’ve lost a supportive friend with which we shared so many good memories I’m a bit of a closed book when it comes to family and friends. I don’t really talk about my feelings, my past or anything personal really. My closest friends have accepted this I guess I understand this is not healthy, I have intimacy problems
2 mo
Getting over fear of intimacy?
