How to get over fear of intimacy and relationships?

[Anonymous]

I'm 29 and have been with lots of girls on nights out but never had a relationship
Also when girls like me when sober which a lot think I'm good looking they think I reject them
And I feel awful again

Any time it comes to the crunch I pull away with fear of not being good enough for her and lacking the confidence
Before a girl gets to know me im full of confidence and charm but when they get close I freak out in my mind and can't figure out why? help?

Updates

+1 y

I'm 30 soon and really would like a relationship but my fear of intimacy scares me with fear

[TrueJoyxo]

What I think is that you may be afraid of getting hurt? Now, I may be right or wrong but just know that it's important to take risks in life. There's always going to be a risk that things can go wrong, but that goes with anything in life. Love is always the biggest risks you'll ever take. But you're allowed to make mistakes, it's human.
Either that or you probably haven't met a girl whom you feel comfortable enough with to show your true colours. In the end, you just want to make sure that you end up with someone who appreciates and respects you for who you are.
I sense that you may be a bit insecure also but how do you expect someone to love you, if you can't love yourself?
I don't mean to sound harsh but I hope this helps you in some way :)

[Asker]

Your right really insecure and I know it too thanks for your answer !

[marissab81896]

It could be you dont want to get hurt and when they get close to you, you might feel like if they leave you might get hurt. When you date someone you have to be willing/take that chance that you might get hurt.