Do women say the opposite of what they actually mean?

Question

this is more for the experts but you can answer too

a girl becomes interested in a guy, and the guy becomes interested in the girl, because they supposedly "instantly connected" the guy asks the girl for her number, and right after he gets her real number, she says to call him. is this a test? I have heard that girls test guys to see if they can get the idea, or did she really mean to call her?

cause I wound up calling her twice (once to get her my number, and once to say hi), with no callback either time

emmabee11 · Accepted Answer

This is just another sweeping generalization of women (once again ( what do we have to do to get it through a guys skull that each and every single woman isn't the same? lol WE AREN'T! for me no means no and yes means yes, i never let anyone call me or give them my number for many reasons (one of those is being my phone number being written on bus shelters by immature people saying "Sex Line" (had it done to me), so you'll know if i'm interested... how do you know? you'll know when we lighten up every time you come into the room... obvious lol, shyer girls may try to hide it but still obvious lol. Girls go more for love at frst sight but not like a guy does where he dies inside with every "attractive" chick walks across his path, we don't know how it works ether realy... it's just instinctual like guys i guess? but more in a choosy way.

Sometimes a girl wil give you a fake number or your number then not answer to get away unscathed by your disapointment of being rejected (because some guys just don't take the hint or get really pissed straight away lol), sometimes we might like you and give you our number but there then may be red flags about who you are, remember just like guys we are just trying to figure out IF we are a match in personality or not, we can gain instant infactuation on anyone (even idiots), but we don;t know that yet... we don't know what your personality is like... but for some reason we find something really attrative about you. Don't ask us how it works.. we are baffled by how we choose our mates, but for girls it's more about strong and positive personality traits.

Azara · Accepted Answer

you got her #. her telling you to call is not a test. if you had no intention of calling why would you ask for her #.

this is why i never give out my #. or ask for a #. too many games. its bs.

if you like her call her. if she plays games drop her.

and if she does ply games se isn't every woman.

and just about now you're playing games too, so it discredits your assertion -wrapped in question form- that women are dishonest bc you're playing games with one paticular woman.

only way to find people who dont lay games is to not lower yourself. be honest and eventually you'll bump nto someone who appreciates it and doesn't want to waste your time bullshitting.

treat her as though she's being honest. if she int you'll sort it out too enough. then leave.

i dont see the point in trying to figure of if its a test since if it is you shouldn't bother with her...what would you do if you thought she WAS trying to test you.. would you play up to it?

just be above board. shell either be glad and follow suite, or be more interested in playing games, than getting to know you, in which case she -hopefully- would not be someone you want to be involved with.

Ramalama · Accepted Answer

See? This is what's wrong with people these days. We've become so focused on "not getting hurt" that we've completely forgotten how to dust ourselves off and move on gracefully (and in a healthy manner) if we do!

First, stop with the game playing. Forget about "looking desperate." If I was her, and you answered the phone, I wouldn't have thought you were desperate. I would've thought "Oh, I'm so glad he answered after I didn't those first two times he called, now we don't have to play this agonizing game of phone tag!" BUT because she's probably playing "the game" as well, I'm sure that's why SHE didn't answer the two times you called. Ridiculous. You like each other, just leave it at that. You don't have to play all these neurotic mind games to prove it! NO wonder the divorce rate is going up. People are nuts... I'm moving to Canada!

Second, unfortunately yes. Women (well, I know I sometimes do) say the opposite of what they mean. I think ultimately we want to see how hard a guy will work to pry the truth out of us. Simple as that. Working hard wins our affections.

GuyAdviceFromGuy · Accepted Answer

There was a study one time where some psychologists video taped women and men flirting. In the study they found that women when they flirt, its hard to distinguish whether they truly like the guy or not. But when guys flirt with girls its easier to spot the differences. So yes, women do say the opposite of what they mean sometimes. Some girls just like the attention. And some girls, when they like a guy will just flat out be blunt about it and say they like the guy and even initiate the texting and phone calling. Yet other women will like guys but won't budge until the guy makes his move.

Basically I would just drop her a flirty text telling her who you are. Sometimes, if its your first time calling a girl, she won't pick up the phone. It has everything to do with the whole surprise of getting a random phone call from a stranger. (Before she knows its you whose calling) and you don't know what situation she's in (she could be taking a dump, sleeping, or in a class or at work) so the best thing to do when getting a number is to wait a day or two then drop a flirty text reminding her who you are by mentioning something special in the initial conversation you shared with her, it will give her time to think of what to say and won't catch her in awkward situations. Of course after writing all this, I just realized your question was from a year ago so now I feel like dork for commenting on it. Sorry, hope things worked out with you two.

geronimojoesaephus · Accepted Answer

With somethings yes, others know. The only times I've had a problem with this is getting a woman to be honest about her intentions in a relationship. If I want something casual, she'll pretend that she's not looking for anything long term. On the other hand, if I'm look for something more serious, she will say and do things that both imply and directly state that she sees things as long term.

I often get flamed by girls saying "it's just because girls don't want to seem casual or they'll be labeled as sluts" or "girls don't want to look like they're just crazy and desperate for marriage and babies." Also, I'll get a girl telling me: "she just doesn't want to hurt you." It would hurt me more to find out that a girl who I had been seriously dating for months, who also said things leading towards a long term relationship just saw me is a fling. It also hurts when I find that a girl wanted things to be more serious or progress more quickly than they did. It hurts, because then I have to make the painful decision of whether or not to stick with such a, usually, good and sweet person. If I tell them to slow down, that would severely hurt, but it would have been avoided if they were honest.

So like I said, many girls will lie about some things but not others. It's not a black and white yes or no. But then again, maybe I've just been dating the wrong girls.

toulouse · Answer

I don't understand the question.

How is it a TEST to tell a guy to CALL.

If not sincere it is a trick. A test would imply she CARED about the answer.

If she cares enough to tell yo to call, then she said that so you would CALL.

How is it a test. Like she wanted to know if you liked her enough to call her, but she did not really LIKE you, or really WANT you to call, then why would she even bother. I guess if that excites some people maybe they could go get a hobby or something.. Why mess around with a guy she has no interest in talking to.

What if you turned out to be some psycho, & left so many messages she had to get a new voice box, or change her phone.

She probably IKES you, & if not, well then she is freak for telling you to CALL.

Do you get that SUSPICOUS of ALL girls, or was there something seemingly insincere about HER?

I just noticed you said she called back.

Do not do to HER, what you just wrote to US about HER doing to YOU.

LOL... She will be on here about YOU, you will be on here about HER, & you all are going to confirm the myth that EVERYONE PLAYS GAMES...

So do her, yourself & ALL of us a favor, & just CALL her when YOU feel comfortable... NOT, cause you WAITED long enough for her to think you are too busy & aloof , detached to bother considering her.

Just treat people with respect, then you have the RIGHT to respect it, & if yo do not receive it, you never have to question the reason.. Life I much more logical & easy to understand that way.. You find if you keep being real, after a while you can answer questions yourself, the WORLD makes sense to YOU cause YOU make sense to the WORLD.

hahaha, I just noticed this is more then a year ago.

Oh well.

:-)

dipta · Answer

In your case, she does seem interested, otherwise she would never call and you would probably not hear from her again...
It depends on the girl though, and the situation. I'm really bad at not giving my number, still working on it, but I don't think I can really say "call me" seriously, like I mean it... If I'm interested, I might joke a bit "Okay, so now that you have my number, be sure to call, haha" or something along those lines but, if not, more likely the guy will say "Ok, I will call you!", and I'll just reply "sure, I'll be waiting", but in reality hoping he won't...

To be honest, I think it's really easy to see the difference, in one you're giggling as an idiot, in the other you're smiling politely, yet guys never seem to pick it up. Maybe I should just be straightforward, but I got a bit scared of doing that after being insulted a couple of times. If anything, this apparently easy-going attitude only manages to attract the oblivious guys (being truly friendly isn't a good thing, guys probably think you're stupid or something) who are truly convinced they stand a chance with the super cool you, for some unknown reason.

I'm sure other girls are fairing better (I hope so!), so they must have learned something that I didn't yet.

amatuer_zombie · Answer

Ya Women do test guys all the time

some of them don't even realize it ,but its just a part of growing up,it becomes second nature to them.

As far as girls saying opposite of what they mean is concerned:

Women are emotional creatures.what they feel now,the next moment they may feel completely different.

eg:

When a girl says "NO" the first time,its just that she is not emotionally charged up to say yes.

"NO" means "NOT YET".You change her mood and try again ,u get a yes.Its quite funny though.

When you ask her what kinda guy she likes?she'll reply a nice guy,who treats me like a princess ,...blah..blah...blah.

but the very next day you can find her flirting with the jerk/badboy.

this is because the nice guy isn't able to produce those emotional spikes that the jerk does.

when you ask her why she fell for him?she'll be like "i donno,it just happened".

women are not to blame for the same because its just hardwired into their DNA just like we are hardwired to have as many sexual partners as we can.

Miss1993 · Answer

She's playing hard to get.

When a girl tells a guy to call her, she wants him to.

She wants HIM to call her, and not HER to call him, because, she wants to seem kinda hard to get. It's a girl thing. We don't wanna look desperate. We want guys to pursue us. And it's true that we look if the guy really likes us, he will call us. When you didn't answer her call, you could have triggered her thinking that maybe you didn't answer because you weren't that into her, or that your kind of a player or something. So that's why you didn't get a call back ethier time.. She might think that your playing with her or something. So that's when games begin. One plays hard to get, then the other one plays hard to get. Then things get complicated , if you know what I mean.

Beleieve me; we looooove being persued. no girl would say '' I hate being perdued. I like to chase guys, instead . '' We wait for the guy to come to us.

Trust me, if she wouldn't like you, I don't think the girl would ask you to call her.

enigma2win · Answer

Hi guys and girls, I can explain to some extent why this happens, as I am a dating coach in real life.

On the "Do women test guys" subject this is what I can say:

Men are stronger (physically) then most women, men are logical beings.

Girls are stronger (emotionally) then most men, women are emotional beings.

In the world we live in today, lots of men have a set of "techniques" and gimmicks that get women for him. Some men are very good at manipulating, others at disguising, others at conveying to people a totally different person then who they really are.

So, knowing these things, women HAVE to test men. Basically, because they need to find out if the man they just met is the REAL THING or just another FAKE.

For all a woman knows, the man can turn out to be a serial killer, axe murderer, rapist or even a stalker. So, in order to protect themselves and their feelings, they TEST men.

It really isn't that hard to understand once you get these principles.

sammyangel9991 · Answer

Girls will not always say what they mean for 3 reasons:

1. They don't want to hurt the guys feelings.

2. Its a way we protect our emotions. Sometimes girls can't always tell guys what they REALLY mean because they are worried that they will be judged and that what they actually want to say will not come across well. Or sometimes its a situation where if the girl says how she really feels she could potentially get her heart broken. Really its a self-defense mechanism.

3. A guy is creeping her out and she is just saying anything she has to to get him away from her.

BatDoc · Answer

Okay, a lot of women play games. But there are some out there who don't. So what you have to do is figure out which women are playing games and which aren't. It's pretty easy to figure out as long as you don't play games.

Women play this game because they don't want to seem to desperate. They want to make a guy work for them. Whatever. That's high school crap. If a real woman tells you to call her, she means to call her. No remember that real people also have real lives and real jobs and real bills to pay, so she may not answer because she's doing stuff. But she'll call you back, which she did.

Best thing to do is be honest and straight up with her and tell her you don't play games.

OpenClose · Answer

Personally, I think it's up to women to say what they mean. In cases where things are flirty, might have a little wiggle room based on non-verbal communication, but otherwise, her words were her choice.

Especially in sex, if a woman ever says "no" and actually means "yes", it is your prerogative to act completely based on that "no" regardless of her non-verbal cues towards a "yes". If she wants something and she says no, hoping you will read her mind, too bad for her. she missed out. This is non-negotiable.

NoDoubt · Answer

It depends on what you mean but lying about what they say. If I told you to call me, I would probably be testing to see if you would actually call me. She called you back, obviously pleased that you did end up calling her.
But like you want to know if we mean what we say. If you ask a girl how she is, and she isn't fine, most of the time she will still tell you "I'm fine." If you tell a girl you'd like to go hang out with a girl that is a friend, she may get jealous and even if she says, "I am fine" when you ask her how she feels about it, she really does not mean that most of the time (if she feels the woman is more attractive than her).
I try not to lie and try to be really honest and open with my man, but for most girls, what what I said above is true. Us girls are greatly confusing lol but you men are very hard to read as well. :p

agirlcalledreal · Answer

Some girls are lunatics yes in some are not. Some girls just want to see what the guys will say and test them yes. But in a guys mind they may not think like this. for example sara is sitting on the bed and her boyfriend her does she MIMD if he goes to the club w his boys and she says its no problem and the bf goes. When the bf gets back home the gf is mad af and the bf is confused the bf ask what's wrong and she gives him the silent treatment leaving the bf confused and upset. This example proves that the gf was trying to test her bf and see if he would make the right decision in her opinion which he has failed cuz he does not think that she is testing him he thinks that she really doesn't care about him going and only confuses him when she's mad.
So in my opinion I think girls need to tell their man how they really feel instead of playing games w him cuz a lot of guys don't think the way we women think

Anonymous · Answer

it depends on the person, but girls want to make sure you like them. People are so fake these days that a guy will hit on a girl at a bar with NO INTENTION of actually talking to her again. He may be playing it up in front of his guys or just trying for attention or looking for the easiest girl at the club. Some men actually have good intentions while some want a one night stand every night of the week. (I have guy friends who do this!) I have asked why men in a crowd of attractive girls who are 10s, but will approach the 2 or 3 to ask them out. Its because they want a quick lay for the night and the 2 or 3 might be more likely to give it to them while the 10 has more standards and may want a relationship. You may have just asked that type of girl for her number for the first time and not sure what to do.

Cloibne · Answer

There is no 'all girls' but

I say exactly what I mean when I mean it, listen the first time and act accordingly ;)

Don't play games. If she does, forget about her.

Flirting is not playing with someone's emotions by making them freak out that you may not really like them . Gameplaying is just *oh so many bad things I can't list them all *

aalexandraa · Answer

yes, they do, but not all the time.

for example. you and her have a fight and she tells you: "I don't want to see you again! I want you to leave right now!"

your logical reaction would be to leave (she told you so anyway), but if you really leave, she will get upset with you.

when she is angry she hopes you are going to try to calm her, to be nice to her and never do what she tells you :).

stickal28 · Answer

wow. I think you're doing just fine.  when a girl gives you her real number after you've been talking and stuff for awhile and I mean like a good conversation that she actually enjoyed, then yea give her a call.  I hate it when I give a guy my number and he doesn't call. that's f***ing annoying.  but you could try being friend son facebook too. that only affirms that you wanna get to know her.

mmredfearn · Answer

sometimes girls say things as a way to not let out all their emotions, such as, "i'm fine" "no it's okay, you can go out" or "i don't mind"

however, when a girl asks you to call it means that she really is anticipating the call - some girls just aren't good at getting back to you!

i'm glad she ended up calling back :)

enlightenment · Answer

haha...how can you get an accurate answer from the girls here?  You'll never know if they mean the opposite of what they say!

FordGirl · Answer

Girls will do tests but not as much as you think and most are in the beginning which is when guys actually try (no offense) so they usually pass. You definitely are over thinking the tests though. Girls will say something different then how they feel because they're too nervous to say what they really feel.

The fact that she hasn't responded, you might want to hang low with her because she might not be as interested. Or just give her time because girls can't stand over barring guys. But when they say give me a call sometime either means I'll never call you but I want to be nice and not get your hopes up too much or she's really saying give me a call.

Us girls like to throw curve balls every now and then

Bellibooo · Answer

Well, everyone is different of course, but I have always been a stern believer in honestly and I loathe the whole manipulation and games-where-you-don't-know-the-rules kind of dating. If the girl is testing you like that, she is not worth your time because that is cruel, unnecessary and just childish. IF that is the case, it might not be, you would do better to move on and find someone who respects you enough to at least be honest. But that is just my opinion.

sumanrai · Answer

I really think it depends on the woman.

For one - I've heard it depends on the woman.

For 2 - I've never heard that.

For 3 - They do like nice guys, usually after 25 when the jerks have hurt them and they learn they can't change the "bad boy" that treated them like crap.

For 4 - I don't think that's true.

For 5 - Women like some immaturity (goofyness) but like responsibility too. Diversify and be reasonable.

For 6 - Rarely they do, but most DO NOT care, so long as the man loves them and "does something". What they don't want is a bum that does nothing or is perpetual college. They like ambition, determination, and somebody with dreams & goals. They also like those who spend time with them, & help with children.

For 7 - They do need men if they want children. Many women also want to feel protected by a man.

bonfireheart · Answer

I feel like there really shouldn't be a lable on "women" when it comes to communication skills because all of us are different and either are not stable in the head or is mentally stable. My opinion as a young women is, I speak my mind. I find that young women are more bluntly than other women; doesn't matter their descent. Therefore, women at whole are diverse and their nature of thinking is foreign. Personaly, I feel women are strong. But, I feel that sometimes we do not use our strength positively. I see lots of women who plea just to satisfy theire men. The "traditional way" : obey, serve, and love. Even though lost womens positions are lower than others they have no choice. To sum it up, we do say what's on our minds; one way or another.

Do women say the opposite of what they actually mean?

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