Why some guys won't put out?

[honey112heaven]

I started hanging out with this guy and we've made out intensively a few times, but he pulls away and won't sleep with me. I've never experienced this before. I'm 26, people my age rarely JUST make out...why is he holding back?

Updates

+1 y

Turns out, STD's CAN be a factor in not putting out.

[RealDeal]

I once liked this girl but didn't want to sleep with her (at least not right away). I had another girl, I couldn't decide if I wanted to date her but we were already sleeping together. Once I came to a decision, the girl I was holding out on, really liked me because she thought I wanted a commitment from her. It actually worked out to my advantage. I'm not proud of it but I did it.

[honey112heaven]

THANK YOU! Funny thing is, I'm not necessarily looking for a commitment, I rather enjoy being single, but I find I'm asking myself questions like, "Does he want to be my boyfriend? Would I be into that? Maybe? Why not? Do I really have to be his Girlfriend before I can sleep with him? Is it worth it? How long do I have to wait?" I don't like this game it makes me feel like a chude. But thanks for your honesty.

[RealDeal]

Your welcome :) Thanks for the best answer. Yea single life is all good if you're liking it and if it's by choice. Not many get that choice, so enjoy it!

[Anonymous]

Some guys are sexually conservative -- for religious reasons, or they've seen their parents' relationship go to the ashes. For most of my time, sex with someone implies commitment and marriage...

[honey112heaven]

There aren't any religious reasons. It was just shocking to be denied like that. Are you saying he's afraid to commit? That's why he's conservative with his manhood? Because I'm not necessarily trying to make him my boyfriend.

[Opinion Owner]

We might be in a minority, but there are a few of us guys who take sex and relationships rather seriously. I don't know what this guy is like, but as for myself, I've refused some very good offers for sex because I felt it could hurt me in the long run... Do you know if he had issues from his parents' relationship?

[honey112heaven]

This is very good insight. I have no idea. I will ask him the next time we hang out. We spent the night together and he wouldn't go the long distance, but the next day he texted me and said he was sorry if he disappointed or misled me. I don't want to push him, I don't want to overwhelm him, I'm just kind of curious why if that makes sense?

[LuckyBrand]

Have you tried asking him? Maybe he wants more than just sex and actually cares to get to know you before getting that close yet.

[honey112heaven]

This is what my girlfriends keep telling me. Which is fine. I just wanted a male perspective because that is so unheard of for a guy to straight deny a female done p in the v...

[Anonymous]

Maybe he thinks you might be the one and doesn't want to rush it.

[honey112heaven]

The girl/guy answers are so different for this question. Hahaha oh man. I feel like I'm in High School again waiting for the "right time."

[jimmydean72]

he's playing hard to get...and it's going to work you all up when he does give it to you.

[honey112heaven]

I feel like I've turned into a 17 year old guy trying to figure out what I need to do to get in his pants? Do I need to ask him on a date (because I'm the girl that is usually unavailable and hard to get). Well, whatever the reason, I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I like him, obviously there's attraction there, WHAT DOES HE WANT FROM ME?

[Sephin]

He may not be confident "down there"?

May feel it being too "easy"?

Might have been scared to death by STD ads?

There's many reasons he could be holding back, just ask him.

[honey112heaven]

I've tried, he just shrugs. Weird. I'll try and have a more "intimate" convo next time I guess. But I feel like it's a weird thing to ask kind of. "Hey, so why are you being such a p**** and why can't we just bone already?" Haha

[Sephin]

Well if he won't tell you then he's either very insecure about it or is just being a cocky douche. We come in all colors.

[bDizzie]

Maybe he would be more interested if you had a penis?

[honey112heaven]

I've got pretty decent Gaydar and many a gay man friend, they all say absolutely not. So, that is definitely not the answer...

[Anonymous]

LOL usually its the other way around

[honey112heaven]

Seriously! He's very attractive and I feel like a guy, I'm like, “How do I make this happen?"

[Anonymous]

I didn't understand your update.

[honey112heaven]

That was the reason he wasn't putting out. It had nothing to do with him playing hard to get, or not wanting anything casual, it was because he's had an STD and didn't want to sleep with me until I knew. Which was respectful I guess. It's funny that was the one thing that NEVER crossed my mind.

[Opinion Owner]

Nice of him. I would know many others who wouldn't care less!

[Anonymous]

He probably wants to wait for marriage.

[honey112heaven]

Bahahaha wouldn't THAT be the kicker. Doubt that's the case.

[Opinion Owner]

You never know, there are those kinds of people out there! I am one of those people.

[honey112heaven]

Yes, there are, and I respect that, but he is not saving himself for marriage, I know for a fact he isn't a virgin, and he isn't religiously saving himself. I think he just wants me to be his girlfriend before we bump uglies.

[Opinion Owner]

Oh got it well that makes sense as well!