Do players ever feel bad when leading a girl on?

[Anonymous]

I'm 19 and there's this guy I like a lot. He's 27. We used to see each other in the past (about 6 months ago), then he disappeared out of nowhere for months. Now he's back and has been giving me attention, but it seems to me that he's not really into getting to know me. In general, when we talk, I feel that he barely asks questions about me, what I like, what I don't like, what I'm all about, etc. Also, he doesn't call or text very often. We went on a date yesterday and he still didn't ask questions to get to know me better. Its had to have a convo with him because he doesn't ask many questions, how will he get to know me? What I have to offer? What kind of girl I am? I'm sad. :( I have a good heart & never wish to hurt or harm anyone & feel I would be a great partner. He has a serious girlfriend of two years last year & I don't get why if he was serious with her, he can't try and be serious with me (By at least trying to get to know me & see what kind of girl I am). I have NOT given off any slutty vibes, or the vibe that I am an easy One night stand kind of chick, I have respect for myself. I like him a lot, what should I do?

[MrOracle]

It's simple: you need to tell him that you don't have sex with a guy unless you are in a committed, exclusive relationship with him for a while. Chances are when he hears that, he's going to start ignoring you, because all he's likely after is sex. And guys just after sex do NOT want to hear about commitments, monogamy, and waiting.

All you really have to do to protect yourself from guys like this is tell them this up-front, and then stand by it. It's like garlic to a vampire.

Of course, that means a lot of guys that initially hit on you are going to run away, and some of those will be guys that you LIKE (or think you do), but that's how it is supposed to work. The POINT is to filter out the guys who aren't interested in relationships, and that means that the guys who get filtered out will run away. But the ones who remain will almost always be the guys who are serious about a relationship.

You need to understand that a lot of guys are just out to get sex, and many of them have no problem lying and telling a girl what she wants to hear in order to get it. This is one of those times where you simply can't allow shortcuts, and where you need to let their ACTIONS speak instead of their words.

You might find these helpful:

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[ChemNerd]

To answer your first question, yeah sometimes. At least, I would suspect they do. I mean, I feel bad when I go on dates out of sheer boredom but I don't think players think that much about it. For me I feel bad because sometimes I know they really like me but I'm just more in the mindset of having fun (not necessarily sexually) so I hope that us hanging out doesn't give off the idea that I am looking for something serious.

As for your second question, you can't make someone want to get to know you. If that's not already there, you can't instill it. Don't waste your efforts trying to make it happen nor get your hopes up. Go into the situation expecting the least.

[Anonymous]

same thing happened to me and I walked away from him...i wanna be with someone who loves me and wants to get to know me

[Anonymous]

He doesn't seem to real want to get to know you there for I don't think he wants anything serious.

[justsomedude39093]

It sounds like you both don't truly relate. Even if he did have an interest in who you are, it sounds like he's not interested in starting off by forming a friendship. This usually means he wants just sex. It sounds like you want a lot more.

[Asker]

does it matter to him at all thought that I am of quality? My personality I mean

[justsomedude39093]

From what I can tell, it's not his top priority. Of course, I could be completely wrong.

It just sounds like you're interested in a commitment. It sounds like he is not.

Guys can be manipulative too. They do it because, frankly it works. A lot of women give guys more attention and more sex when a guy is stand-off-ish and cold.

I would say pull back from contacting him to see what happens, but you both already spent 6 months apart.

I really think you should ditch this guy.

[yellowmamba024]

Players never care about a girl's feelings. My best friend's brother is one. I used to talk to him quite a lot, and he even bluntly admitted that he doesn't care about a girl's feelings. All he wants is some p*$$***.

[Jager66]

your a sex object to him