Guy friend got mad at me for no reason?

[bdeakol]

So me and a recent guy friend are really close, we joke all the time and just be retarded and such. We're also very used to name calling and swearing at each other, he also texts me all the time everyday. A week ago, I jokingly said he's an idiot and he shouldn't talk to me anymore. And he just texted "me fine I won't text you anymore or reply to your texts" and he did. I texted him the day after and he did not reply. I probably won't see him until next week or something. I don't understand why he got angry? He knows I was joking, there's no way he wouldn't know that. I even saw him that day and everything was fine until the text.

Any ideas?

[Simple-Simonette]

Maybe your text was received at the wrong time, when he was in the wrong mood.

People tend to misdirect their anger or frustrations, especially when they have little control over the situation that causes their troubles. For example, he could have gotten in trouble by his parents or another friend was angering him or he got a bad grade - something he was powerless to avoid - and you just happened to send your text during that time. So where does that frustration go? To you, you're right there. People tend to lash out at the heat of the moment ...

My advice is to tell him you are baffled by his irregular reaction toward something he normally participates in - and ask him if there is something else going on ... something you may help with? That's the way I would react toward someone I cared about. People don't like to feel vulnerable, and sometimes you have to dig a little to get to the true problem.

If it doesn't work out - just know that it isn't anything you could have done about it. Your communication with him never bothered him before and to change the rules without warning isn't fair. You're not a mind reader.

Best of luck.

[bdeakol]

Thank you.

I was planning to do that, the problem is I won't see him any time soon.

But I am going to talk to my other friend (who's also pretty close with him too) and see what's going on. I do agree that his reaction was unfair, but oh well.

[kholland65]

You are learning first hand why texting is stupid. You thought you were being sarcastic but last time I checked there is no sarcasm font. How was he supposed to know via text you were joking.

Maybe you've learned your lesson and will put the phone down.

[bdeakol]

That's what I thought. But I texted him 3 times after that. It just doesn't make sense.

[kholland65]

Sometimes backtracking isn't enough because the damage is done. He may feel that your attempts to say sorry and claim you were joking are only because you are seeing how upset he is getting. No matter what, he's always going to think in the back of his head that you truly feel that way otherwise you wouldn't have said it. You planted the seed, now he's always going to be weary of that fact.

[bdeakol]

fml.

lol.

[kholland65]

live you learn. Now you'll be more careful about not only what you say even in a joking matter to people, but especially over text. Remember 70% of communication is non verbal. Texting leaves to much guess work when talking about something that can have more serious ramifications. Serious topics, confrontations, jokes, should be reserved in person where things cannot be as easily miss construed and both you and the other person can see the true meaning behind the conversation at hand.

[bdeakol]

there were sometimes when he texted me mean things I was confused of whether he really meant them or not. But he never did, I just assumed that he'd figure that I never meant any of the crap I said either.

[kisaragi5TH]

did you write 'jk' at the end?

[bdeakol]

We don't do that when we text, me and him automatically know we're joking.

But it's all good now.

thanks.

[NerdGrl]

Maybe he's just trying to tick you off.

[bdeakol]

d'you think?

It's been a week though.

[NerdGrl]

Well if he's all of a.sudden mad.that wouldn't make sense Unless he's immature...then it he best to leave him alone. Don't dish.it.if.you can't take.it.right?

[bdeakol]

lol he texted me today.

I acted like nothing happened though... I asked him if he was mad at me he said "No, why?"

BOYS!

[NerdGrl]

See? I knew he had to he joking. Well good for you :)

[NerdGrl]

See? I knew he had to be joking!

[bdeakol]

I should've known. LOL!

We're like besties.