How does an autistic person act when they like someone?

[Anonymous]

I'm 20 and he's 21. I suspect he has autism or some sort of social disorder because he kind of shows most of the symptoms. But that doesn't matter to me. Anyway, whenever I talk to him he gets nervous. Once when I hugged him he got nervous. I would catch him staring at me. Sometimes when I talked to him he would come across as standoffish. There were even times when I would greet him and he would say "hi" sadly. When he'd be with his friends and we would make eye contact he would quickly look away and pretend I'm not there. When he's studying he acts cold towards me but I guess that's because he's busy. I sometimes feel like he doesn't like me. Then I get the feeling he likes me because he gave me his number when I asked for it and approached me first that day.

As I said, I got his number. Sometimes when I text him he doesn't reply and other times he does. When I attempted to talk over the phone with him he claimed that he was busy. So far I've initiated contact with him. Any advice on what I should do? Should I just tell him I like him?

Updates

+1 y

He also laughs nervously when he talks to me or acts odd.


The very first few times I spoke to him, he used to walk away from me in the middle of a conversation. I realized that he didn't know what he did was rude.

[Awkwardnesss]

As someone who believes she is on the high functioning side of autism, when I have a crush it is awful and fun. All these feelings just completely overwhelm me, however due to the "not getting social cues" I can#t really flirt very well, another thing, i am not very good at detecting if someone is trying to flirt with me and if they like me. So it leaves me really in a muddle, another thing is that i have a sbit of social anxiety and am too afraid to ask. Another sign he may like you, if he asks you lots of questions such as " what would you do if..." and stuff like that, that's what i do. Also when he does stuff to make me feel excited, i flap my hands about and squeal - not very attractive... this also goes to anyone reading this, can anybody help me out in distinguishing whether he likes me or not as well? PMing would be helpful. Sorry if this was not very helpful for you but i hope it is and i hope you now understand that people with autism may not pick on when you like them so you must try and make it crystal clear. :)

[RedSmartie]

I went out with a guy with autism once, and I feel like I should tell you to proceed with extreme caution. Guys with autism can get very possessive over their girlfriends. In a you-will-have-no-life-apart-from-him-and-sleep kind of a way. But if you are going to pursue him anyway, you need to tell him straight out. They might pick up on some freaking obvious hints, but they probably won't respond to them. If a guy with autism likes you, he will probably want to be nearer to you than normal when you are already in the same place. But that's all that you can really tell from them. If you sense that he prefers a closer proximity to you, then just tell him.

[Anonymous]

he sounds like he may be autistic, just work on being good friends, maybe he doesn't like talking through a cell so just make time to talk to him in person, be really open and friendly and encouraging when he tries to open up too. Maybe ask him to hang out sometime(not necessarily on a date, you can invite other friends too), my brother is also autistic, he likes to go bowling, maybe consider doing that..:)

[Asker]

My next dilemma is him replying to a text. I texted him last night in hopes of him replying so I could ask him out. He didn't reply to my text.

[Asker]

That is he didn't reply to the text I sent him last night. I simply texted him "hey".

[smallguy]

Autistics come in various shapes and forms some display odd behavior others grow out of their broad spectrum condition to some extent leading successful lives. Autistic kids are not really good at social skills but they are very very faithful and honest that is the good quality about them.

In a way they are not leading people but like to be lead so you may have to take the initiative as they do like romanticism but they cannot express it the way normal developing kids can however they are very loving and capable kids

[Asker]

I last texted him on Tuesday. Do you think it would look bad if I text him tonight?

[smallguy]

Not at all he just has feelings like everyone else but he just expresses it in other ways I am sure he likes you very much

[Asker]

I texted him last night, but he didn't reply. I'm not sure how long I should wait or just give up. I feel a little hurt.

[smallguy]

Hmm let see

I hope he is a high function autistic so assuming he is

What does he likes and is into?

Does he understand relationships?

[Dionysos]

Last sentence is the answer. Be careful though. Depending on the level and type of autism it can be really really hard being close to someone.

[Asker]

Should I tell him over text? I prefer in person, but I don't know if he's going to be too shy to hang out with me.

[Dionysos]

I'd normally say no, but who knows? It might help him to have that barrier and time to think.

Do your homework on autistic relationships to know what you're getting into.

[Konnour]

They don't.

That's the problem about those people, or let's say - 'trademark', you see - they're "socially clueless" - nothing else but clear words is what they can understand.

[jokersgirl]

Wow.. you are incredibly small minded aren't you? To think something like that of people who have learning disabilities. They can think on a deeper level that I'm sure you ever have.

[RedSmartie]

Actually, in his defense, he's right. I dated a guy with autism once. He was the smartest guy I ever met but he was really socially clueless. He had to be told everything straight out. It doesn't mean they're stupid. It just means that they don't pick up on nonverbal cues.