Would you get offended if someone told you they fell for you for your personality, not looks?

Question

If someone (bf/gf or even someone you're not in a relationship with) told you they were drawn to you/fell in love with you due to your personality only and never for your looks would you be offended? I wouldn't be completely offended but I would like to think they were somewhat attracted to my looks and not ever attracted to me physically whatsoever.

lottierose · Accepted Answer

I think I would be offended, but that's mainly because I used to be quite insecure about looks, and phrased like that I would feel it was slightly offensive.

However, I do understand this. And for me, pure personality attraction doesn't mean I'm not attracted to them physically. If anything, the more I like someone's personality the more I find them physically attractive. If someone is lovely, I subconsciously start focusing on more and more of the positives in their appearance (and vice versa in they aren't a nice person).

I understand this, but I wouldn't really want my partner to tell me they weren't attracted to how I look still. I wouldn't mind if it wasn't the first thing or the main thing, but I wouldn't want there to be none or for them to tell me this :P

lumos · Accepted Answer

If you just said "I fell for your personality", I'd be completely flattered! But if you told me "I fell for your personality, not looks" it would give off a vibe that kind of says "you're lacking in looks, but don't worry, your personality is what made me hooked!"

Even though it's a huge compliment that someone would think you're so awesome that your personality single-handedly made them fall for you, it would also be nice to know that they think you're pretty as well. But, this is different for every girl. Some would be slightly offended, some would not. I'm kind of struggling between the two. But really, in the end it was a compliment, so I'd probably choose to not feel offended because I know you meant well.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I would be flattered. Personality should always come first before looks even though for most, it's looks that is important. Looks tend to disappear with age, but personality tends to be the same. And to keep up the look, it's quite expensive. Personally, personality is most important. Heck, I'd probably date/marry the guy if he told me that he fell in love with my personality. I would love to be told that they fell in love for me and not for what's on the outside.

Someone who is beautiful might also have an ugly personality. That is what makers that person hideous.

Frostie · Accepted Answer

Lol, what are you made of sugar? No. Accept the damn compliment,unless you need someone to reassure you of insecurities. I could give a f*** if someone thinks I'm "attractive" or not lmao. It's what comes within, not without.

KingsOfleon88 · Accepted Answer

Yes, I'd hope she found some thing physically attractive about me, because I mean, we all want to feel desired, it's human nature. But going beyond the physical is important too.

cazza3 · Answer

No because that is what you fall in love with, looks may attract you but its their personality you fall for. Its their little quirks, their interests, beliefs/opinions, what motivates them, what their hopes/dreams are etc.  I would be a lot more offended if I was told oh its actually your looks I fell for not anything that actually holds value, i.e your personality. Its not looks that make someone amazing and no matter what you look like if you have zero personality/are arrogant/bitchy/judgemental/ignorant then you are an ugly person

sweetsteel15 · Answer

People should fall in love due to personality, looks are just a plus. It doesn't mean you are bad looking. Would you rather have A: "I fell in love with you because of your personality." or B: "I fell in love with you because of your looks." I'd pick A. Don't get stressed that she said she fell in love with you because of your personality. Don't be offended, but if someone says they fell in love with you for your personality, then be happy that you are that awesome. What else would you want her to say? Shouldn't that be enough for you? It doesn't matter how you look, just as long as she truly loves you. You are over thinking it. Calm down bro.

Airika · Answer

I don't think that personality would be what would initially attract you to someone.  If that were the case you would be friends, rather than in a relationship.  I mean,  I could point to a bunch of my guy friends who have awesome personalities, but I couldn't consider dating because I'm just not attracted to them.  I could see how you could be friends with someone and then in love with their personality, but I think at that point you would start seeing them as more physically attractive as well.

Winteredrose5162 · Answer

If they included something like, "and your looks are the icing on the cake" then I think that would guard against possible upsetting someone. I've been told they fell for my personality and not my looks. It was an unexpected compliment but I was flattered. Means they'll like me when I'm a wrinkly old grandma! :)

Stacyzee · Answer

I would think I am somewhat unattractive.

Because the first thing people see is looks, I would feel more complimented if they told me based on their attraction to me they wanted to see more of what I am about.

But if someone just says my personality is what allowed them to like me, I wouldn't take that has an insult but I would feel I am not a very attractive person either. If I already know this, then I wouldn't take much offense to it.

tdaniel7 · Answer

No I would not be offended because personality overrides looks. In a relationship looks always start to break away because you get used to seeing the person everyday. The only part that only makes a person beautiful is when their personality makes you feel good. A person can shine even if they have a funny personality and ugly teeth.

Darkfairie17 · Answer

I would be kinda hurt, but I would be glad that they saw the good inside.

I'm not perfect and have been bullied a lot, but I try to not let it phase me. I realize that everyone has different tastes.

Obviously we want to be attracted to our partners, so the person would have to at least be attracted to us some way.

LexiNinja · Answer

Yeah, it would definitely make me feel bad to be honest. I mean, If I were to be with someone, I'd want to be a guy's "full package" you know. I want to feel attractive in front of my man, I want him to consider me attractive. Personality is awesome and it'd make me happy that he thought that was a quality that made him go for me, but lets be real, who want's to be with someone who's not even remotely attracted to you. I'd feel uncomfortable.

Fufu666 · Answer

I wanted to add to all these replies... im in this predicament atm. My boyfriend loves me for my personality and not looks. I'm not a bad looking person either but he's never happy. He's been trying to transform my looks and recently whilst On holidays with him, he couldn't stop looking 2,3, 4, 5 ...10 times at every chic that walked by. Like he's not happy with what he's got and so yes I am offended even though it is a compliment it's still a downfall , if he's not 100% happy he will keep looking.

musicbrain5 · Answer

No way, I would not be offended. I am not bad looking at all, but I'd rather know that he wants to be with me because he thinks I am interesting, fun, cool, etc. rather than him saying he prefers my looks over anything else. I'd be kind of offended if THAT were the case.

vishna · Answer

Lol if they originally found none of my physical appearance inviting, pleasant, stimulating, OK just pleasant :/ then wow ..bummer...self confidence kinda destroyed

I wouldn't dump him but I don't know how it's supposed to play out, that would be awkward

emilyemilyy · Answer

I would definitely be offended. Looks are definitely not the most important thing to me, but for someone to say that to my face is quite rude. I wouldn't mind if that were the case, that he liked me for my personality not looks, but it's unacceptable for him to TELL me that.

BrighteyedAsh · Answer

Mmmm no. not really. If they fell or something about me, that's what matters most. I'd rather that than have someone say "You're really attractive but your personality is awful/incompatible with me. Oh well, I'll stick around since you're attractive."

Anonymous · Answer

Since guys emphasize looks so much, us females kinda have to date whoever is attracted to us that we can find "doable", with the best personality fit ... to break it down into guy speak.   So a female dating a guy that she isn't hugely sexually attracted to is fairly common.

Anonymous · Answer

Lol. I actually wouldn't be surprised. I have a fantastic personality and have always felt "meh" about my looks. At the moment people comment on how nice I look, but I think that more often than not people are attracted to the personality, not the bod.

Anonymous · Answer

i wouldn't be as offended cause I would then know that he finds me special , cause there's so much other pretty girls out there that he could have fallen for . I think either way he would be somewhat physically attracted - cause what would be a healthy relationship w/o attraction { (; } ? but in your case , if a guy didn't find me attractive at all then there's a problem .

peace-love-couture · Answer

I'd dump them

I think it takes being attracted to a person physically and personality wise to have a healthy relationship. I want to be with someone who finds me attractive and I would only be with a guy I find attractive

Primrose · Answer

I feel like even though he said that, as sweet as it sounds I would like to hear it more like.

"Baby you're really beautiful, but your personality just shines even brighter." or something like that hahaha.

tweetumzz · Answer

nope but I will not believe that he fell for me solely because of my personality :)

LOVEEEEEEEE · Answer

Hmm not offended but a bit sad but then again that's a really cool compliment... Sometimes people fall for the personality and with time they like your looks more and more.

LilKim · Answer

That would be offensive captain. I would stop after you said you are in love with them. You can call them beautiful and be talking about their personality.  But honestly I think you need both looks and personality in the end.

MissDashwood · Answer

Absolutely not. Best compliment a guy could give me.

Prof_Don · Answer

i wouldn't feel much offense at all...i know im, at best, slightly above average looking (depending on the girl's fetishes and taste), and I know ky personality is AWESOME! :)

snowangle · Answer

I wouldn't mind. I know my looks are nothing special haha. I'd be flattered that my personality was enough to bring him in.

KellyC · Answer

Hmm well I will feel a bit less about myself but in a way I would like it because personality lasts longer than looks anyway.

lace1228 · Answer

I would be sad if he didn't think I was attractive as well.   Everyone wants  to feel physically attractive to their partner.

Coulis · Answer

I would feel flattered but I would prefer to be with someone who found me irresistible. You meed a good balance of both IMHO.

SummerHeatGirl · Answer

I would kind of get offended and be upset but then I'll be happy that they like my personality.

amatuer_zombie · Answer

Looks fade,a HOT body fades away...what remains is your personality. So I'd be actually glad that she liked me for my personality

MeridiansAAngel · Answer

Its offensive but at least they love the right thing. -love Sosa

flames542 · Answer

no its better personality than looks its beauty within not out

bubettesunshine · Answer

If only guy said they were attracted to my "sparking" personality. Looks are pretty superficial.

polkiju · Answer

no xD You shouldn't be in love for the looks it should be for your personality always!

sailorgirlcanada · Answer

A little. It's kind of good but it's weird he'd say it...

38darlene · Answer

Not at all offended would mean I have a great personality.

emzy-89 · Answer

no, I'd be offended if someone told me that they fell for my looks, not my personality

Anonymous · Answer

not offended but id feel self conscious yeah...i rather he not tell me that lol just say I fell for you and keep it at that.

Anonymous · Answer

I agree with you. I wouldn't be completely offended but I would hope there was some physically attraction.

Becky89 · Answer

No! Definitely not! Don't know why anyone would lol!

MakeLoveNotWar · Answer

Nope. No one falls in love just by looks alone. It's your personality that seals the deal.

Anonymous · Answer

NO I wouldn't get offended by that. Having a great personality is a good thing.

Anonymous · Answer

would they he say that specifically, "not looks"? because if he did I would slap him. lol

Shadoww · Answer

NO! but I would like to think he'd think I'm attractive too..

grizzlybeards · Answer

It's sort of offensive. But I'm sure the person had good intentions. I would kind of be hurt knowing this person wasn't attracted to my appearance.

Anonymous · Answer

No! Personality is a good thing to have. I do not want to be thought of as the pretty one with no sense of humor/personality what so ever.

Anonymous · Answer

No. I am OK lookin and know it so that is good to hear

alicess · Answer

not at all! would think its kind of a cliche though haha

YouthfulPallor · Answer

Yes! That's so mean. :(

blackrose21 · Answer

no I wouldn't be offended

crystallized · Answer

i would love to hear that, not offensive at all.

Anonymous · Answer

I would be offended to be honest

rougecerise · Answer

YES.

Anonymous · Answer

You're damned if you do, damned if you don't

Moloch · Answer

Uh, yeah.

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah I'd be a bit put off by that comment

Anonymous · Answer

nope, not at all

Would you get offended if someone told you they fell for you for your personality, not looks?

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Would you be offended if someone was dating you for your personality and your appearance had nothing to do with it?

Would you get offended if someone told you they fell for you for your personality, not looks?

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Would you be offended if someone was dating you for your personality and your appearance had nothing to do with it?

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