Why are some boys players?

[mxgirl23]

so my ex recently came back to me and said he was sorry and that he made a mistake of letting me go. he asked me to give him another chance, so iconcidered it.

we talked for about 3 weeks, and ifound out a couple days ago that he went to all of his past ex's and said the same things. he had sex, lied, and bullsh*tted all of us.

we confronted him about it and he justified his actions by saying that he's single and he can do whatever he wants and he sees nothing wrong with what he did.

now, what kinda person can do that? its obvious that all he wanted was sex, but why are some guys like that?

its pathetic.

[TimeAndTimeAgain]

Look, it's like this - there are no such things as "players". There's only two kinds of guys:

1. Guys who want stable relationships with someone they care about.

2. Guys who just want to have sex.

I'm going to tell you right here and right now, and you can deny this all you want, but I have SEEN this countless times and I know it's true - GIRLS ARE A LOT MORE ATTRACTED TO THE SECOND KIND OF GUY, THAN THE FIRST ONE!

Meaning, if a guy just wants to have sex, he's gonna have a MUCH easier time finding someone, than if he takes the approach of someone who wants a solid relationship.

With that said, you should also keep in mind that the guys who want sex will do EVERYTHING they can in order to get it. They will even ENTER A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU, just so that they get to have sex with you. Just because he wants to be your boyfriend, doesn't mean he cares about you. Sometimes, it might just mean that all he wants is to have sex with you. This doesn't mean you don't mean anything to him, though. What it DOES mean, is that once he gets bored of you, OR once he finds someone else he wants to have sex with, he'll either dump you or cheat on you.

Most guys don't have the balls to dump the girl they're with, so they end up cheating. They don't want to feel like monsters for breaking up with someone who cares about them, just so they can go f*** someone else. So yeah, that's how it works.

Also, you might want to know that some guys don't know what they want. They might THINK they want a relationship with a girl, but in the end all they want is to have sex with her. And so he'll start dating her only to realize that he didn't really like her all that much. This becomes ESPECIALLY apparent after he's had sex with her the first time.

What YOU need to do to protect yourself, is don't have sex with someone until you're ABSOLUTELY SURE the guy likes you for your personality. Basically, if he doesn't feel like talking to you every day, or isn't curious about you at all, or doesn't try getting to know you that much, you can be super-sure he just wants to have sex with you. I DO NOT GIVE A FLYING F*** ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU THINK HE CARES ABOUT YOU, OR HOW "THAT'S JUST HOW HE IS, HE ISN'T THE TALKING TYPE". No, that is bullsh*t.

When a guy really likes you, he'll talk with you and wanna do things with you. There is NO GUY who is different. If a guy isn't like this, he just wants to have sex with you.

[mxgirl23]

damn..

that really helped.

thanks a lot dude.

and thanks for bein straight up

[kambo_trick3y]

Sucks you ran into it, whelp, slap him in the face, dust yourself off, and try again.

Word of advice, while relationships are always hit and miss and finding a good guy to be with can feel like luck sometimes, it's really not.

There's a reason why some people can live their whole adult lives having genuine friends and relationships, it's not luck, it's just very deep and trained observation.

Learn to hone this ability, in life, everyone will want something from you, whether it's to get in your pants, sell you a cheap and broken down car, or scam you out of money, they all run the same gamut and can be read the same way if you're good enough.

Sharpen this instinct, and you won't run into the same pitfall.

[xcrunner2414]

Some guys are like that because they have become emotionally damaged and that is how they express themselves; they become angry and choose to hurt those around them. I don't know this from personal experience, I simply know this because I'm a guy, and I know how we think.

Either that, or he's a psychopath.

[mxgirl23]

well, right after we broke up he met someone else, and she played him. apparently that made him have trust issues or something, but everyone that knows him knows that he just plays girls, so idk.

[xcrunner2414]

You are right to say that it's pathetic. That's the correct word to use. If you still care about him as a person and you want to see him be a better, more positive man, I suggest you talk to him about his attitude, explain to him that you understand why he plays girls (deeply rooted insecurity) and that you know what it feels like to be hurt. If you do talk to him, be sure to make it plainly obvious that you are doing it out of friendship, not romantic interest. Hopefully he'll get the picture.

[mxgirl23]

alright, thank you!

[temptationfalls]

Why are some girls sluts? Move on with your life and don't give it up so easily next time.

[Applenuts]

Because he is immature, he is just a child and needs to grab a hold of his balls and man up. Just drop his lame ass. FYI women are just as bad as men. Lol

[jb12358]

You can do better