My girlfriend dumped me but still wants to be friends, what do I do?

[jincuj33]

We dated for 3 years and she dumped me basically because she was no longer in love with me. She felt awful about dumping me but she still wants to be friends. I still love her and don't know what to do.

I still want to be with her as more than friends, but I do enjoy spending time with together even as just friends. We didn't have many close friends outside of our relationship and my life would be a lot less boring and lonely if we were to remain friends, but on the other hand, I could be setting myself up for future disappointment. Do I move on and try to get over this girl or stick with being friends and see what happens?

[highfive123]

Dude as hard as it is, you really have to think about yourself right now and ONLY about yourself. That means, stop contacting her, stop looking at her online profile, stop everything that includes her. Really, because every time you do it, it's just going to hurt you more and make you more desperate and needy to be with her. Take all your pictures down from your wall and put them away and lock it up! Erase her phone number in case one night you do break down/get drunk so you don't call her, TRUST ME do that...I'm SO glad I did! Write her contact information and hide it somewhere else!

This approach works best for 2 ways, 1: You will begin to heal after a while...yes a WHILE, that means it could take 1 month 2 months or longer and you will begin to ENJOY life again which is great for your self confidence.

2: If she realizes she misses you, and wants you back she will let you know. There will be a better chance of her wanting you back when your confident and happy, and moving on. I'm in the same boat, doing the same thing right now as you! I know how it feels man but you can do it, it takes a real man to cut off contact, some days will be AWFUL, but those are the days that you need to call a close friend up and talk about it. Hope this helps!

[Reeses-pieces777]

it can never be a 100% platonic relationship after that. break up is break up. you have memories of her and she does too. so it's hard to move on when you are around each other, you talk to each other, and maybe flirt a little, before you two know it, you both act like girlfriend/boyfriend and that's the prob with still being friends. I've cut off all contact with my ex's unless they contact me, I may answer but usually it's over when I say it's over..it's a lot easier to get over it. I mean, for me when someone dumps me, it's harder for me to be friends. just my thought though

[philosophersdilemma]

Being friends with someone is one of the best ways to prohibit yourself from getting over her. You mentioned that you're still romantically interested... It wouldn't be a good idea, unless you're truly able to get over her knowing that she'll be with other people and you'll be hearing about all of it as her friend. Give yourself a little space to sort things out for a while. It doesn't have to be long, just enough time for you to really lose interest. Otherwise, your feelings will only strengthen and you won't be able to truly move on.