We broke up but I still want to be friends with her, what should I do?

[Minnow21]

We broke up on understanding terms like almost 3 months ago, and since she has lost contact with me (we had tried to stay friends) because it wasn't best for me or for her at the time, but I keep feeling this intense urge to contact her despite the fact that I'm not sure it's been long enough. Part of me also thinks that she wants to say something to be. My last text to her made it sound like I didn't want to talk to her, which was an error on my end; I worded the sentence poorly. I do want to talk to her, but I'm scared of her not wanting me back in her life despite the fact that there are no issues between us other than needing time apart to figure ourselves out. I don't know what to do I don't want her to think I hate her but I also don't want to contact her too soon. I should also mention that this is the first relationship I've been in where I felt like it could work and wanted to make it work, and even now it feels worth it. What should I do? Contact her now? Wait? Do nothing?

[Anonymous]

Honeslty, I would move on. It is obvious that you still have feelings for her and somewhere deep down inside you probably want to be with her. In my experience, it is best to move on even if you had ended on good terms. There was a reason you broke up, and I wouldn't take it lightly. I was once in a situation where I thought that my relationship hadn't turned out because of having to date long distance, but once I started dissecting it I realized that there were deeper issues at hand. It was the hardest one I have ever had to get over, and though our paths may cross in the future, the best thing that I could have done was to move on and not reach out. If I had, I would have had that hope that something might still happen.

[Pinay_ako]

Staying friends with an ex is not a good idea right after a breakup. It’s either you’re still in love 🥰 with them or you just need that familiarity after a loss before you finally move on. Maybe later in life when you feel nothing for them. But what is your purpose of becoming friends with them is entirely up to you. Why did you guys break up in the first place?

[Minnow21]

Well, I was her first relationship and last year was her first year of college. Due to her family how she was raised she was isolated for most of her life up until now. Basically she needs to figure herself out, what she wants, etc, and when she ended things with me, I realized I need to do the same thing. So I know it's probably better to wait longer or not do anything, but I'm just so optimistic about everything that I sometimes get impatient. I'm just tired of losing friends and lovers

[SolivagantRises]

I think you should just tell her how you feel and that you would like her to be a part of your life. Make sure you express everything to her. Just be honest and if she feels somewhat similar, then you guys can be happy and be friends.

It's okay to be afraid of her not wanting to be a part of your life. I understand this very well, I am going through something similar. But you've to tell her how you feel and that you want her back in your life. Don't wait for too long.

[Minnow21]

How do you know if it's been too long?

[SolivagantRises]

You've both had some time to think and clear your head. You've come to a realization that you want her back as a friend. Maybe she is not there yet and she would need more time. The only way to know is to tell her how you feel and if she needs more time, then you need to respect that. But at the same time, do let her know about your intentions very clearly.

[Minnow21]

Okay, thank you

[SolivagantRises]

Please let me know how it goes... whenever you decide to tell her.

[Minnow21]

So I decided not to tell her, primarily because I think I was feeding into my emotions. I don't think I myself am at a point to talk to her about being friends. I have to wait longer, and maybe by that point not being friends with her might not bother me nearly as much as it does right now. I'm just not good at letting people I care about go. It's really hard for me

[SolivagantRises]

Then you should definitely give yourself more time my man! I can only wish you luck. I hope you can find some peace and be able to move on.

[Minnow21]

Thank you! I'm certain I will be able to find some peace and move on

[exitseven]

Just move on. It is hard but it is a good skill to have.

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO😎

[katiesmuff]

It sure can't hurt anything to give it a try!

[Cheerfull009]

You want to bluff her again

[Sameone]

No don't my friend