She dumped mefor this and still wants to be friend bcz she said she's still attached even though sheblost some feelings , will I get her back?

[Anonymous]

Me and my girlfriend (well ex now) both are 18 have the same subjects and have really important exam to qualify in tier one universities this year, we had been dating for the last 11 months things were perfect best time of my life , 3 months are left for that exam and she told me she's breaking up with me 3 days ago bcz she couldnt really focus i thought this wasn't the reall reason and talked to her , found out after countless hours of me saying why are you doing this to her she fianlly said that she felt drifted from me bcz we haven't been talking that much because we both were busy studying and she started to become insecure and bottled those insecurites for the whole last month till she told me "i wanted to break up" anxiety wouldn't let her study , this wasn't the only reason though she said in August we started to go in little bit of a 3 rd base and stuff (it was her first relationship so she wasn't really comfortable) and said all that made her really uncomfortabe and she wanted plain on vanilla cuddles and i obviously even at thst time seeing her never understood if she was comfortable but i remember a couple of times her saying no and i stopped right there. We had a big talk we both admitted out mistake me for the physical affection thingi and her hiding her insecurites from me but she still wanted to break up but she said " i still want to be friends" how do i exaclty tackle this situation, thinking about this gives me anxiety attacks.

[PrettyPriya]

I think you need to give her the space she needs right now to focus on studies rather than a relationship that is causing problems with school. You have to respect her wishes that she cannot handle a relationship right now.

As far as the "I want to be friends", that is up to you if you can do that or not. No one here can make that decision for you. If you feel like being friends is going to be too difficult, then you need to move on.

About getting her back? You don't. At least not right now. She has made it clear she cannot manage a relationship and school at the same time. Again, that is about simple respect for her.

Forcing a relationship that isn't there is not going to do you any good either. She clearly wants to focus on other things in her life right now. The best case scenario is that she gets those things under control and wants to give it another shot someday.

[Asker]

I am giving her space and really want to be a friend but its just i dont wanna be stuck up in the friendzone but welp i can't predict the future and im just really anxious , my anxiety cannot let me study or eat its killing me quite literary

[PrettyPriya]

No one can predict the future. You are right about that. If you are having severe anxiety to the point it is disrupting your life, see your doctor. There are medications for that, even if temporary.

[Asker]

Im just hoping for the best and giving her space trying not to think that much but well thanks for your views and it will certainly help me.
Thank you

[PrettyPriya]

You're welcome. Best of luck to you both. Just remember, this could be very much a temporary thing for her while she gets her footing with school.

[Nye221]

You're young, and things like this are bound to happen when you date in high school. This is a critical period for both of you since I'm assuming you'll be graduating next year and preparing for university. Spending some time apart/cooling things off might be best for you both so you can focus on the exam. If a relationship is meant to work out between you two then you'll find your way back to each other when the time is "right". If it's her first relationship she might need time to figure herself out and what she wants out of a romantic partner. You seem to be a nice guy and aware of what you want but you should give her space to figure that out for herself. If you really care about her and want her to know, stay by her side as a trustworthy friend and someone she can go to for support no matter what.

[Asker]

I am really attached to her and i am ready to give her space , i wanna be a friend but im to anxious to be a friend, i dunno how long i should wait bcz its really hard to not to text her we texted today too for a bit i said i needed to study and we said our bies to eachother i think not texting her back till she texts again would be a good idea (?)

[Nye221]

I know how it feels wanting to talk to someone you like as much as you can (I'm in a long distance relationship) but if they can't or don't want to talk as often as you then finding other ways to occupy your time helps. Invest time into your hobbies, your health, your studies, catch up on sleep. Take a walk to clear your mind maybe. When she wants to hear from you she'll reach out. I'm sure it's not easy for her either. If you give her space she'll appreciate it, trust me.

[Asker]

I think i really needed to hear that, ill just focus on myself and my studies rn il ill see her but i ain't really gonna talk to her , even if in the future something dosent happen between us at least it would be easier to move on ig , anyway thanks for the advice really appreciate it man

[DoctorSex]

You are negotiating from a bad position. You have not got the upper hand in this situation and as a man this is a disaster. When you allow a woman to lead the relationship, ask yourself where could she possibly lead it to?

The second you put her in that situation, she's easy food for a man who knows how to lead. Break away, take the L and use it to develop your manhood. You're a young man and your learning the ropes. It's tough on the heart but I promise you it'll make you into a better man if you use that energy constructively.

Kind regards,
DoctorSex

[Guy13]

No. Especially if you continued to treat her like a friend during the relationship. If you did not fulfill her fantasy of like "rock my world and man-up leader" then No. F-U Zone for life as you two were better as friends. You can advise her one her new boys etc...

[Guy13]

Does that make sense? There are some nuances but in general that's what probably happened.

[Asker]

You just described my fears man 🥹

[Guy13]

That is likely how it is going to be UNLESS the next one is so rotten that you are sweet again AND you step in authoritatively and gently conquer in sexual side. You had the emotional already and it needed zero attention unlike most relationship and women... she felt that which is why she tried it.

Now, you know kind of thing... live learn and hope for another shot.

[Asker]

Its been like 20mins and im still trying to understand what exactly you are saying lol but welp thanks for the helpig?

[Guy13]

Alright. She's going to have to go through another relationship failure and then you will have the chance to be assertive in ways you were not last time.

[Asker]

Oh you just started making sense i mean thanks for the advice but its kinda morally conflicting idea

[Guy13]

Reality no matter what media snd nazi-feminist say: Women Test-“she’s so difficult”. Soft and Strong partner expects strong men to bare the load, still…not all but most. “Insecure, desperate, needy, “she already has a Dad/Mom guy”…. all tested and weeded out. The strong ones sometimes reveal narcissism

[In_Trance]

Block her and move on

[Asker]

I still gotta see her face everday in class so... is that really a good option?

[In_Trance]

100% yes

[Asker]

Might actually do it well thanks for the advice man