Why does my ex girlfriend still wants to be friends? Advice needed! Thank you!

Basically, me and my ex were together for 3 years 8months before she broke up with me. We were experiencing a Long Distance Relationship for 9months and she came back for a month before she broke up with me. Her reasons being she cannot tolerate me at times and she lost the vision of the future with me and the only vision of the future she saw with me was her being very upset. But she said she wishes to be friends with me. Why does she still wants to be friends with me? She had been initiating a few conversations with me, once or twice per week, and I know that she still cares for me. But the breakup seem to have no effect on her at all.. I mean, she said she is still functioning and happy and she never miss me at all and thus do not regret the breakup. Is it possible? We broke up for about a month by the way. She seem to be very unaffected by it. Why is it so? Thank you girls and guys for your much needed advice...

Arghh. I don't know what she meant. Met her on Thursday again. At first we were sorting out our and thrashing things out. Then she requested a hug from me and we started french kissing after a while. She kept saying sorry but still continued on.
After that, she said sorry and said I know I shouldn't be doing that if I don't want you. She just emailed me saying she's scared I took her for the wrong meaning. Help please! What is she thinking?


Most Helpful Guy

  • When someone breaks things off they usually have thought about it. So the impression of her being fine could be her feeling free. Once that "I'm free" feeling goes away, she could be lonely, or misses your attention. It's hard just to walk away and not miss someone from a relationship that lasted years(she wouldn't be human if she didn't) so she could be fine however, deep down she still misses you. Maybe not enough to get back together but knowing she can still get or feel some love from you is what could help her move on. Some people just like being liked.

    From my experience after about four to six weeks the freedom doesn't feel as good and you start to wonder if you made a mistake. It's human nature to want something you can't have so now that you are not there, she could have expected you to beg her. Please don't. She could just need your attention to make herself feel better and build her confidence so she can find new guys. The possibilities are endless when it comes to an ex. But you know her better than anyone here.

    Try not to focus on her and what her intentions are. If you feel that this will slow down your moving on process, leave it alone and don't respond. It's okay to be friendly but just remember that she wanted this, so what you do now is no concern of hers. Work on you and friendship with her will come with time if her intentions are genuine.


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What Girls Said 1

  • She may have thought about it for a long time and had a lot more time to get used to the idea than you have so far. But again that may be her way of dealing with things - ignore the problem and keep going as everything's good. Either way, you have to figure out if you can be friends at this time, if yes - then great - keep talking, if not now, then you should ask her to cut the contact for a bit while you get used to the situation...

    • Hmm. but what if I really want to be back with her? you think it's possible? She keeps saying it's impossible though... =/

    • If she's saying it it's impossible then move on - you don't need to waste your time. and since you still have strong feelings for her, I'd cut the contact for a bit - it's only going to make it harder to move on if you talk/see her on regular basis.

What Guys Said 1

  • She still needs you for emotional support, she might like you, wants friends with benefits or hook ups or maybe get back together later...

    • This pretty much sums it up in a nutshell- it could be any of the above.

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