Health & Fitness

Drugs and my Beautiful Apple Tree

Drugs and my Beautiful Apple Tree.


People say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree...God I hope they're wrong. I hope that this old apple tree resides on a hilltop, so when I fall off her worn down branches into the path of adulthood I roll to a better place, a better life, than what she had chosen for herself.


My mother was born into drugs with her entire family doing them and her Mother and father completely out of the picture. Their was a sun the this young apple tree though to help nurture her and give her the energy to grow strong, and that was her grandmother. My nana aka my moms grandma raised my mom and her two brothers like her own kids and gave them the best life and love possible but due to her surroundings AND BY CHOICE my mother decided to fuck up her life and do drugs to escape her problems and have fun with her peers. At first it was pot then it got worse and then she got pregnant. After three kids she finally got away from that looser, silvered up for a while, and then got with my dad- another looser.


The old Apple tree was grown now and worn down from years and years of storms, but an apple was growing on on of her weak small branches. I was born.


My childhood is somewhat of a blur to me but I remember when my mom got arrested. Her mother had died from drugs...She had been hanging out in the trailer park to much and was influenced again to make poor choices and she accepted. My father as a working man sent me and my sister to a babysitter who couldn't speak English very well and wasn't the kindest of people but did fit the bill well enough. When he would pick us up he would drive us home and promptly crack open a six pack and dose off into slumber. Finally the Apple tree was replanted back into our lives and was here to stay.


i don't remember much about my life until I moved to our house we live in now- it's funny how fast it went by- both of my parents are sober but that wasn't the end of drugs in my family. My older sister spent a year at our house doing drugs and causing chaos with my mothers marriage. My older sisters older sister (I know lots of words) gave her weed knowing her problem. She finally left our house and is now pregnant from a one night stand.


Seasons pass, leaves fall and grow on the old Apple tree as it begins to wither away giving it life source to the apples on it branches and I begin to reflect what happens to apples when they fall down. The aren't like birds that can fly and choose their own path, apples fates are designed by their surroundings and what life the mother tree has set for it. Will I roll away? stay in the same path? Plant seeds in the ground to become a tree in give new life?


My mom and dad have been fighting a lot recently about the hill our tree has chosen as a home and the apples in her branches. My mothers husband...it's hard calling him dad... Hates us and tells us so and wants to leave. This has helped my mother and I bond we both cheer each other up and tell each other theirs nothing you can do about a miserable person. We both have done everything we can but... It's not worth it.


As I watch at the tree I see it wither away smoking it's cigarettes and poisoning itself with everything negative. I love this Apple tree it's beautiful and the ONLY THING I HAVE but its still dying and its apples are falling off its branches and now I'm left with the question if apples can fly and if they am an change anything for themselves. So when the time comes for me to fall will I fall or will I fly and when the old Apple tree falls will it leave a legacy or just dissolve into the ground. The Apple tree is beautiful but I want to fall far from it...

Drugs and my Beautiful Apple Tree
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