The 22 Things I Hate Most About Myself

[sixnineanon]

1. I hate my mom and my mommy issues.

2. I hate how I'm too tall.

3. I hate how I was bullied.

4. I hate that I used to cut myself.

5. I hate how I always end up hating the people I like.

6. I hate myself for finding reasons to hate people, especially my whole family.

7. I hate how I have to go to college when I don't want to

8. I waste my time and I hate myself for it.

9. People are shallow and it bothers me.

10. I hate myself too for being shallow.

11. People's stupidity annoys me.

12. Knowing that I can't stop all the disasters in this world makes me feel worthless.

13. I hate my dad and I wish I had a different one.

14. The racism in this world annoys me.

15. I hate gender roles and how I'm expected to follow them.

16. The sexism in this world annoys me, especially sexism about what men are allowed to do.

17. I have a hard time forgiving people and I hate how it affects me in the end.

18. I hate how people obsess over the things I write.

19. I hate how I haven't lost my temper yet.

20. I hate how I'm too sensitive and I hate people who don't care about the way others feel.

21. I hate how I'm too honest and how it hurts people's feelings when I wasn't trying to.

22. I hate how I'm nice to people who don't deserve my kindness. I hate how I can't help it.

Please don't tell me that any of the reasons here are ridiculous. I will get so mad and block your a**. You're not in my shoes. Oh wait, they wouldn't even fit you if you wore them!

[redeyemindtricks]

If you don't mind sharing.

15)
Of all the things you listed here, I probably found this one most intriguing.
Which gender roles do you find most frustratingly confining?
What do you want to do to break out of those gender roles? What do you wish you could do, that would earn you too much ridicule and/or ostracism if you actually did it?

16)
This seems like it's the same issue as 15), once I read the second part of it.

Others:

1)
What about yr mom in particular?
Being a mom and all...
Also, never really having had a mom myself, so, I'm really a novice to this mom game from all sides (mine died when I was 2).

7)
I mean, you don't HAVE to go to college. If you can lay out an alternate life plan that competes with it. (Fun fact: I'm a college dropout.)
On the other hand: If you can get a basketball scholarship and go to college for free, then, you'd be stupid not to go -- especially considering the asininely high cost of college in the States.

13)
What about yr dad?
You know how I feel about my own father (you gave me MHO on yr Father's Day thread)... I had lots of putative disadvantages in life, but, that *one* advantage -- having the best possible father -- really cancelled them ALL out.

Misc)
Why'd you classify this under health and fitness?

Sry for all the questions.

[sixnineanon]

My mom stabbed me once (she has schizophrenia) which is why I can't trust her anymore. She criticizes me and doesn't treat me like I'm 18. She told me many times she wishes I was never born (when she gets angry). She never looked out for me and I got hurt many times. Whenever I did something wrong, she embarrassed me in public. She's annoying because she can't take no for an answer and she keeps trying to spend time with me when I don't enjoy being around her. She calls me to come out of my room when I don't want to. She makes me do things I don't want to do and whines when I don't want to. She thinks my older half brother is a God and deserves more respect than me. She completely ignores me when he's around and laughs..

My dad is a pathological liar and I can't trust what he says. He keeps worrying about my future when I don't want him to care about it. He wants to get involved in EVERY decision I make. He constantly criticizes me for they way I am. He doesn't like how I'm goofy.

[sixnineanon]

I have a basketball scholarship and yeah it makes me stupid if I refuse to go. I just wish I could be in the NBA already and not have to study and take useless classes that aren't related to what I'm interested in (general requirements). I didn't like high school and I can't imagine what it would be like in college.

The gender roles I find frustrating are how men are supposed to pay child support when they clearly don't care about the child and don't get to see it often. Men will be shunned if they don't pay for kids they care about. They can waive parental rights but should still pay child support like wtf? Abortion doesn't bother me because I still find a different woman who won't kill the child. Women should have rights over their bodies but men should have the right to decide if they want the child. It takes two to tango.

[sixnineanon]

I hate how men are supposed to not be allowed to cry and they are considered weak and ridiculous if they do. It's always keep it to yourself and it manifests men to be nasty towards others. I can't help myself but I absolutely hate all guys who act that way like whenever they're butthurt they always take out on some people. I just lost respect for someone on here for doing that. It doesn't matter that he apologized. I hate my own gender so much. Girls can say they hate girls but if a guy does it, people look at him in a weird way. I'm tired of being loyal to my gender for the stupid shit they think and do. Im past the bullshit and I'll call them out on it.

I hate how if a man does something "gay", he's considered gay or bi or tranny if he does it. But he could've been bicurious or horny. Girls don't get shunned for doing gay things and can still be considered straight and no less of a woman.. A man is basically shunned if he's not completely heteronormative.

[sixnineanon]

and is labeled as less of a man which is stupid.

I hate the competition between men and how they should always be the breadwinners and sleep with as many women as possible. It's okay if a woman stays at home but if a man stays at home, people think he's less of a man.

Damn I really need to stop worrying about what people think and ignore their ignorance. I should learn to be me and don't interact with close minded people.

I listed this under health and fitness because it's all mental health. Hating my life and myself is a sign of depression. I don't think anyone hates the world as much as I do.

It's okay to ask these questions. I'm fine with that.

[redeyemindtricks]

Here are two threads in which my opinions may make you feel better about these respective parts of the situation:

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2034728-guys-would-you-rather-work-or-be-a-stay-at-home-man

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2028419-is-it-normal-for-an-adult-male-to-cry

__

I understand how you feel about the child-support situation (and it's actually sex-neutral -- the state would go after a deadbeat mother just as hard, in the rare situation where a fully custodial father was hounding her for the payments).
But, even though the *realization* of that system might be somewhat sexist in praxis, you have to realize that the INTENT of the system isn't sexist.
The INTENT of the system is to make sure that THE CHILD has a means of support -- and to ensure that that support falls on the shoulders of the

[redeyemindtricks]

taxpayer in as few cases as possible.

I mean, you are probably sick unto death of hearing the phrase "for the good of the children", but, this is one situation where that is absolutely the point.

Also -- if you grow up to be a productive, taxpaying citizen, please do realize that, **if** there were a system in which the father COULD sign away his child-support obligations... YOU, the taxpayer, would end up covering that shortage, in lots and lots and lots and lots of cases.
In other words -- If you *didn't* father an unwanted child, you would end up distinctly WORSE off under the system that you supposedly "want".
That old saying comes to mind... "Be careful what you wish for; you just might get it."

[Other_Tommy_Wiseau]

So instead of saying and focusing on things you hate, why not just not focus on them and focus on things you actually like? Besides being better for your long term happiness and health, it'll make your immediate future a lot better and happier as well. You said you don't wanna hear how ridiculous some of them are, but guess what? Half of them you can just cut out your life by simply ignoring them and focusing on the positive things instead of dwelling on the bad. I promise you that
A- you won't hate as many things
B- the things that you do hate will not make you nearly as sad or upset

[sixnineanon]

Agreed, that's what I should try to do

[phil2]

The feelings of what you are saying are hard on you, it puts your mind in a dark spot with no light. But I am in a similar spot. All I can do is try to forgive myself, others and try to understand myself and others and do the best I can without hurting anyone including me. I am learning Forgiveness, empathy and boundaries. It's not easy, and all I want to do is give up and run away. But I have to face my fears. I have to be strong. I wish you the best in life, love and happiness.

[sixnineanon]

That's what I try too. Aw thank you and I wish the same to you too

[SirenDep]

Now that you identified what it is that you hate about yourself, it's time to plan. Take each of those things and find solutions. See what you can do to change them, improve them or in some cases get over them. Talking about what bothers you helps, especially to people willing to hear or people who love you.

[Summerjonee]

1-13 that really sucks really really shitty you had to deal with that, I've been there too cutting and be bullied n shit sucks ass. 14-16 I guess is the only things that affect everyone and I hate that shit too, for 17 to the end bruhhhhhhh same I get stepped on by my own friends all the time fucking sucks lol I'm a decent human but people are assholes back, like okay wheres the logic?

[Smmyskittles]

Obsessing!!! :O

Bring it on! I'll wear your shoes! Lmao, I'll trip ever other step, but I shall wear them.

[[ 😘😘 ]]

You're alright, kid. ;]

[redeyemindtricks]

Actually, I was wondering about this. What size shoes do you wear? (OP, not smmy -- although smmy I'm guessing you probably wear, what, US 10 or so)

[Smmyskittles]

@redeyemindtricks - lol, pretty spot on ! 10 or 10.5 for tennis shoes, flats, flip-flops , etc. With heels I usually have to go to an 11 (depending on the brand ofc).

@sixnineanon - What is your shoe size?

[redeyemindtricks]

@Smmyskittles um are yr feet, like, flat af?

[Smmyskittles]

@redeyemindtricks - No, I actually have quite a nice arch. I own 1 pair of flats and 1 pair of flip-flops.

Don't wear them often (maybe once so far this year). Prefer my heels and tennis shoes.

[redeyemindtricks]

Hm. Reason I ask is, it's unusual to wear a bigger size in heels than in sneakers. It's even *more* unusual if you have a nice arch, since when you arch yr foot into a tall shoe its profile gets shorter overall.

It's pretty much impossible that you wear heels that are too big (you'd just walk out of them), so, I'm afraid you might be walking around in sneakers that are too small for you.

Fyi, "finger width between toes and front of shoe" is NOT how sneakers are supposed to fit! That's actually *supposed* to be a cutoff for deciding the absolute latest point at which a kid's shoes are too small and NEED to be traded out for a bigger size. (If someone's little toe curves inward toward their other 4 toes... they've spent far too many years of their life wearing sneakers that are too small.)

The proper way to fit sneakers is to make sure that the narrowest point of yr foot lines up with the narrowest point of the shoe, and the widest point of yr foot lines up with the widest point of

[redeyemindtricks]

the shoe. It makes no difference how much room there is in the front of the shoe, since that's gonig to vary based on the shape of yr toes (which actually varies widely from one person to another).

So... Do yr sneakers actually *fit*?
•____•

@sixnineanon I'm still curious about what size you wear. My oldest brother is a bit too big for a US 15 and a bit too small for a US 16, so, pretty much the only brand he can find that has his actual size (15.5) is Gucci ahah

[redeyemindtricks]

*second oldest brother

[Smmyskittles]

@redeyemindtricks - I'll go in this weekend and have my feet measured... >.>

[redeyemindtricks]

nah you don't really have to go to that much trouble -- I just mean you should position yr feet in yr normal workout shoes and see whether both of those things are true. (: For fitness, esp if you lift heavy with yr legs, that alignment can be important.

Most people in shoe stores don't know how to fit 'em right either. They're not quite as awful as the bra fitters at VS (don't get me started), but... yeah. It's just "heel 1/4 inch from back, smallest part of foot = smallest part of shoe, widest part of foot = widest part of shoe". That's pretty much it.

My husband's feet are very "square" looking in the front, for instance. (He can almost stand with the first 3 toes of each foot up against a wall at the same time) Like this but with longer toes:
www.theathletesfoot.com.au/.../...hapes_square.jpg

So he has LOTS of room in front of his first 2 toes, in proper fitting sneakers. If they went by length, they'd try to put him in a shoe 2 sizes too small.

[sixnineanon]

@redeyemindtricks I wear a size 18

[Smmyskittles]

There's nothing wrong with a size 18.

Honestly, it just makes me want to wear your shoes. :3 Don't ask me why and YES, I know that sounds weird.. lol

[akadatank44]

Bro nothing wrong with Big feet. All ballers have them. Come up by me and will get you a few pairs at Eastbay 😉

[DamnCurtis]

My shoes don't fit you. Lad.

Anywho tragic dude all love to you hope you feel better.
We all share a lot of these problems. ❤️❤️❤️

[RainbowFanGirl]

Aww. I feel the same way. I couldn't even list all the things I hate about myself 😔

[Milhk]

Oh, boo hoo. Go ahead and block me I don't care. You are the way you are because you choose to be that way you could change if you really wanted to.

[sixnineanon]

I didn't choose to be the way I am! You can't choose the way you feel either... I didn't have a choice for any of these! And yes I'll block you because I can tell you give ignorant opinions..

[SUnSuRGe]

well you're a dumb bitch

[Lover-girl2001]

I now exactly how u feel

[Anonymous]

What are your mommy shoes