Introduction:
For this take in the #BATTLEROYALE contest, I had been thinking about the "Rate Me" culture and how healthy it was. My initial idea was further inspired by @Dog19 and her take in the contest last week, https://www.girlsaskguys.com/health-fitness/a30402-why-having-a-positive-body-image-is-so-important
I wanted to look at the whole phenomenon of "Rate Me" and ask, is it helpful or even healthy. The "Rate Me" posts have attracted a lot of attention with the growth of the Instagram Models etc. The posts were so numerous in GaG's "Other" topic that a brand new topic "How Do I Look" had to be created to cater for the demand plus reduce the annoyance of many users who thought that they were flooding the "Other" topic feed.
For the take I wanted to consider the criticism of the "Rate Me" posts, study the conventions of both posting and opining on the topic plus have a think about ways to make it a more positive, more constructive maybe even a more helpful area.
(1) The "Rate Me" Can Never Be Universally Standard:
This is the one that screams out at me, unless you get the entire world's population of 7 billion plus to answer every "Rate Me" post, the post will fail any measure of universal standardisation. You are left with a miniscule sample of people who all have different values for the different numbers answering your post , some go high, some go low. A 7.5 attained on Tuesday at 2pm will never be the same as 7.5 at any other time. If you post 10 times on 10 different "Rate Me" sites over a month, you will get 10 different averages probably covering quite a range. Plus everybody themselves is different (Okay, leave aside the doppelganger theory that everybody has an exact double in the world) how can you fit 7 billion into a 1-10 scale without an impossible number of fractions.
(2) Support And Criticism Of The "Rate Me" Culture:
If you step back and think "Is there any good points to these posts", well I believe once you ditch the actual "Rate Me" idea, there is a lot of benefit to be found in them. You could have the "Pat in the back" post - "I have been training, been on a diet, lost baby weight , How do I look?" - The "Reaffirmation/self esteem" post "I am pregnant, I am a teen and my body is changing, I don't feel attractive, reassure me" - The "Let them have fun" posts "Filters, trying the duckface/macho poses, trying makeup, showing new hairstyles/new fashions" - The contentious one might be a portion of the "Am I too fat/skinny?" posts where the asker is genuine and there may be some concern that they are or could be too fat/skinny then you have to gently phrase it that maybe you will feel healthier if you lost some weight on one side, or on the other side say "You are fine or could do with adding a few more pounds, it will better for you to stay where you are or please don't lose anymore weight". Myself and a lot of others get criticised for given blanket positive comments/advice by the "Truthbombers" because they feel we are playing to the "Attention Seekers" or giving people false self impressions of themselves by too kind assessments.
Looking deeper into the criticism of "Rate Me", as mentioned the "Attention Seekers" who are enthralled by the response they are getting, posting multiple times sometimes in increasingly racy clothes or poses. The "Compliment Fisher" who use posts like "Am I too fat/skinny" just to get credit. The "Obsessive" who asks numerous questions everyday about their jawline or some celebrity. The "Catfish", why maybe just to get notifications but we have one who posts hundreds of photos, in some she is the model and in others she is the photographer. It doesn't perturb me that much but it just seems a bit strange. My main bit of advice to people who get really annoyed by it is to block the topic and ignore the posts.
In a deeper analysis of societal criticism of "Rate Me" posts, do certain photos lead to the objectification and the sexualisation of people especially the younger ones. That is why I think we should look at some guidelines to be put in place to improve the atmosphere in this area. I support the genuine posts and think that the people should be listened to but there is a large number of unnecessary posts, it is a pity it is so hard to know which is which.
(3) What Guidelines Can We Encourage:
(3a) Only 1 "Rate Me" post allowed a day and maybe no more than two a week for obvious reasons to stop repetition or different versions of same question.
(3b) No 3rd party posts apart from "Would this hairstyle/tattoo/piercing etc suit me?", once they obey other guidelines.
- I don't see point of putting up someone else, it is not fair to them and if they want to do it, let them do it themselves. After that you are going into comparison mode or trying to denigrate (like isn't my ex's new SO not as attractive as me?)
(3c) No group shots or comparative polls (even among friends)
Rate Me And My Friends, Who Is The Cutest? - I guarantee you someone is going end up with hurt feelings.
(3d) I totally agree with the No Nudity most "Rate Me" areas have
(3e) Only have pictures with clothes you would wear outdoors or swimwear.
This
This
This Is Okay - Rate My Body?
Rate My Ass (The Yoga Pose)
We Know What You Are Doing Part 1 (The Playboy Pose)
We Know What You Are Doing Part 2 (Rate My Abs?)
I have seen many debates here on GaG about how to opine on "How Do I Look?", there is a school of thought which I am part of that you have to be as honest as possible but be constructive and give "Soft Landings", assume everyone is genuine because there are peoples' feelings involved. On the other side, there are those who say, call out all suspected "Catfishes", "Compliment Fishers" , "Attention Seekers" and "Obsessives" but how do you know that there is not genuine cases in there. Also there should be no "Soft Landings" because it gives people delusions. Apart from anything else, everyones' interpretation of beauty is different. Loveliness comes in many shapes and forms plus looks aren't everything, your personality is as important if not more so. From my 17 months on GaG, I want to recall two events.
(4a) A 14 year old girl asked a "Rate Me" question and got savaged by "Truthbombers", her father came on, wrote an update on the question saying that the girl was in floods of tears and he hoped that the people who left cruel opinions were proud of themselves.
(4b) A very slim girl asked an "Am I getting fat" question, the "Truthbombers" started laying into her. She wrote in her update "She was hospitalised with anorexia 18 months previously, she has been in recovery ever since, she can't help it but sometimes she gets paranoid about gaining weight". She shouldn't have had to explain herself like that unless she felt it was pertinent to the opening question, which it wasn't, it was her business not ours, her story to tell.
Conclusion:
I feel these "Rate Me" areas on the internet could be very positive if all sides just moved a little, the administrators become more stricter, the "Attention" users become less needy, the "Truthbombers" think more about what they are saying then the genuine people who need affirmation and pick me ups would be able to truly benefit from the areas. Also people who want to have a bit of fun could enjoy the areas too. It would encourage the more healthy discussion of "Body Image" that is happening in society at the moment to transgress into the "Rate Me" areas without causing a massive amount of friction.
It would mean that more normal bodies of all shapes, sizes and colour would be seen in a more positive light, that being attractive is not only one type of look but a range of types depending on how you view attractiveness individually. If we can move this idea forward with a growing realisation that personality is as important if not more important then people especially young people will not be hoodwinked into obsessing about one body type or look which in going back to the introduction is a far more healthy place to be when appreciating your body image and personality.
I found a quote but the picture was too small to embed so I will just type it
Looks don't mean everything, I would rather have a beautiful conversation than a pretty face to look at.
One last thought:
Thanks for reading.
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