This Take is a beginning of a series that I am going to archive here for ADHD awareness in particular. And I am gonna be careful in everything I say because it may be taken on behalf of the whole community. This brief MyTake is my story with Attention Deficit Disorder ADD known today as inattentive type of ADHD.
Something is wrong!
Of course, growing up as any person, you can't live through anyone else, but we just feel comfortable by the sense of our social instincts knowing that we are all in this together, we all share our feelings, and we're all encouraged and motivated by one another no matter what our differences and similarities can be, there's the core of being an individual which can not be touched.
Unfortunately this feeling of unity in human society is not something an adult ADHDer can share - much like people of all mental illnesses - They spend their childhood thinking that the way they perceive and experience life is the way of everyone else, unless diagnosed as children!, they continue with this assumption in their adult life, as it keeps haunting them, knocking them down, isolating them, destroying their self esteem, depressing them, until finally they are diagnosed or some we unfortunately lose or cannot find in the void.
A long while ago, I wrote a question here in GAG that was titled "Can you help me?", where I explained what I thought was the core of my life problem. And that wasn't because I wanted to beg for a service that I shouldn't be getting for free, but rather for the urgency of it in my life. Everyone who tried to help me were not right, nor closer in their expectations to the truth than I was.
It wasn't before the certainty that I am different than everyone else outside the borders of character and personality, did I feel convinced to seek professional help. But this conviction does not come easy you know..! It comes with a deep feeling of self worthlessness, it comes with a gigantic huge pile of schooling, belittling, failing, despise, inabilities, and a collection of visuals in the memory of people looking at you with disrespect and and contempt to every iota of who you are.....
My dear reader,....
just like in unfortunate incidents of crowds scramble, when someone falls down, NO ONE is going to look down 😊. No one wants to fall down as well, so ain't no thoughts about this person's memories, what they want to be, their first day walking, their crush, their love life, their goals, dreams, values, what they will feel.. etc. You just step on him!, don't stop, it's ok, doesn't mean you're bad, the situation is as bad as it is, right? 😉, step on his neck, on his nose, step on his stomach, his balls, eventually everyone else is gonna step on him too, so what's the problem? Or do you wanna be on the ground like him?.Look, I am sorry to give you such a bad graphic visual.. But this is EXACTLY how it is for mentally ill people and ADHDers, it's not that they just get looked down upon, it's they also get hurt, and they can't be heard so they can ask for help.
Time for a solution 😃
27 years, crucial time of adulthood....
At this point, it's all up to me, I can either submit to the fact that the person people want me to change, I can't change, therefore I must find my own way of ridding myself and the world from him...
Or I can also before that try and use a magic wound, one that long have created a lot of magic in this world, one that owned my only excitement, interest, and passion.. Science!
Yes, as stupid as I am, I knew that the best help I can get help was in the field of neurology. I don't think any other mental health professional would have given me that comforting smile, as a response to explaining how am I not in touch with reality, and how people are giving me a hard time for it.
There was nothing else after that, but professional tests, guidence, memories making sense for the first time without destroying my self worth, and a huge gab in human communication and understanding removed as I heard the first welcome to the community from the mouth of our star Jessica McCape in YouTube. 😂
Morals of the story
It wasn't and still isn't perfect, but it's enough. It's enough to not take more than what you can carry. The morals of my story I will leave for those not feeling good about their mental health :-
1- It's okay to feel down, but if you feel different, seek help!
2- Mental illness is not a shame!! Shame.. is on ignorance and stupidity..!!! Mentally ill people are not less than anyone, in fact they are superior in their struggle, and they don't choose that for themselves.
3- Care about yourself, don't expect your problems to solve themselves, if you need help, get it! It was a phrase that I have long underestimated its value before.
4- If you feel lonely more than you should, know that.. We are coming to your rescue.
5- Self diagnosis is a form of cognitive bias. Only mental health professionals can diagnose. it's true information are out there in the Internet about mental health, so is the same about general health, this doesn't make their professionals less valuable. it is our ego defense that leads us to self diagnose or refuse help or not accept that someone can know us better than ourselves or to go to a doctor with a specific requirement for diagnosis or prescription 🚫I never learned about my condition, before I knew I had it. I admit that I wasn't smart enough to read and relate and be accurate, so should you! As much as you respect your career, respect mental health professionals.
Finally, thank you for reading... I hope this was helpful and entertaining. Please bardon my typos, errors, grammar.. See you in next Take.
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Series index:-
1- My story with Attention Defecit Disorder.
2- What is ADHD
3- About ADHDers.
4- We're coming... At ya!
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