Girls, can I actually get better?

So, after about two years of sweeping it under the carpet pretending to be ok I finally had to see my doctor recently and was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I have pills and the opportunity to see a councillor, I can't bring bring myself to take advantage of and go and see the councillor though because I really don't think I'd be able to talk. I've kept this kind of thing bottled up since I was 6 years old, I'm now 25. I quit my job last week to go and persue my career, but my lack of confidence is already screwing that up for me. So pretty soon I'll be with no job and no hope. I can't look my Mum in the eye because of all this, so I stay out late and drink. And then to top it off today I lost one of my 2 remaining friends in the world because of I made a stupid joke, because I lack the emotional and intelluctual intelligence to let any one know that I can be a serious person. I feel so lost. So scared. So empty. And so lonely. I feel like I'm sinking. Plus I'm now lying here feeling sick with worry that my silly joke might have hurt someone that I cared about.
Girls, can I actually get better?
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