Social Anxiety sucks big time! It keeps you from doing many things that others have no difficulty doing, like dating, going out in public, or enjoying life to an extent. I had this bad in High School. You don't have to be ugly or dumb to have it as it seems to be mostly chemical imbalances in the brain or even some past experiences that you fear repeating that may trigger it. The best cure is to see a mental health professional who can prescribe anti-anxiety meds. Thoughts anyone?
Did you ever have Social Anxiety in High School? Do you still have it now?
I’ve had it my whole life. It fucks with me daily.
Here’s my brain at work:
“Everyone is watching and judging every little thing you do. The way you move, the way you blink, how you breathe, if your mouth is open or not, how you cross one leg, how your hair looks, how many to
LOL, I have that happen all the time of write up an answer and push some magical key and everything I wrote disappears and I have to start all over, Like WTF?
I know why I have social anxiety. I spent my first 20 plus years being attacked and bullied by peers, teachers, and at home.
On the deepest level, my brain believes I am the ultimate worthless sack of shit. And I suppose my brain also believes that every other person on the planet can plainly see my sack of shit-status on my face and body.
Logically I know it’s incorrect. But those feelings don’t go away just because of logic. And the feelings have a role in controlling my actions and fucking with my head while I am around other people. It’s uncontrollable. Sometimes it gets so bad I can’t even do basic tasks. My brain is just spinning up a story of why everyone hates me, that I can’t even write my name or some other extremely simple task. Shit sucks lol.
I was uncomfortable in social situations in HS especially if I knew few/none of the people there. As I got older, I learned to not be so self-conscious. Now, it doesn't bother me at all.
Growing out of it does help some, but not all grow out of it in severe cases. I remember a boyfriend I had who had it. We went out to dinner with my parents, sister, and grandparents once and he had an anxiety attack and had to leave. It can really ruin your social life.
You're right. I was lucky in that regard, but I also consciously worked at overcoming my issues by not avoiding them. Taking yourself out of uncomfortable situations doesn't help you learn to deal with them. Too many people rely on avoidance instead of developing strategies to overcome their problems. I'm not saying that's the case with everyone, but it is common.
I had it in high school though maybe not as badly as you describe. I think I only had two dates in all of high school. I did go out and do things with a small group of guy friends though and would answer questions in class if I was totally sure I knew the answer.
I didn't need meds to get past that, but just a little more time. During college I developed my social skills more and was a bit more willing to take a risk on asking girls out on date. I had a couple relationships and several other dates during college and by graduation was feeling pretty confident with dating. Not long after graduation I started dating a 27-year-old divorced woman with two kids. (I was 22 then.) So in a little over 4 years I went from being afraid to ask out high school girls to dating a fully adult woman that had been married and divorced and had kids (so obviously WAY more life and relationship experience than I had). Big change in a relatively short period of time!
Several years later, I had a job where I'd sometimes travel to various places around the world to speak at seminars in front of as many as a few hundred people and felt comfortable with that.
So certainly feeling social anxiety in high school does not mean it has to be that way your whole life. And meds aren't always required. Sometimes just time and making a little effort and taking a few risks and learning to accept a few failures is all that's needed.
If i’m around people I’m comfortable with then no. But I’m not gonna go to a basketball/football/any game/event on my own. If i’m not with people i’m entirely comfortable with i’m just anxious and don’t want to be there. Also never dated or had any contact with a female beyond a platonic hug so I don't know if thats social anxiety related or me just being super unattractive I don't know.
Many people with social anxiety / depression like to do things by themselves, but also not with anyone else either, so it's a slippery slope. But you are also right in that if you know everyone in the room you are much more comfortable with them.
Yes in high school and yes currently. I take a prescription SSRI for it. While it helps me to walk into a store without worry, it doesn't help with talking to women I like. I only take a small dose but don't want to increase it due to the sexual side effects.
Not really in high school. I came from a small town and it never came into play. However, once I left that small town it hit. I can't do crowds. My anxiety peeks and I start to get really aggresive about my personal space. Being in unfamiliar places with unfamiliar faces also causes the same. It runs in my family. My sister almost divorced my brother in law because he intentionally left her at a bbq where she didn't know anyone. He thought it would be a good way to cure her of her "shyness".
I never had anxiety in school because i know how to talk to people, I do have mild depression though. This had nothing to do with my school life though.
Not really. doesn't like to be in focus of attention but I doesn't get worked up about it or stressed out, the anxiety part can't I get for some reason.
Have you ever sought help for it? Depression doesn't usually heal itself. I would suggest you talk to a psychologist for it. He can help you find a course of action if it be meds or whatever.
The depression started around 9 years old. That was when I was first diagnosed with epilepsy. Most, if not all, medication used to treat epilepsy are depressants. This means I have to choose the lesser of two evils. Depression or seizures.
You don't want a psychiatrist, those deal with crazy people, which you aren't. You want a psychologist that deals with other disorders such as depression and addictions.
Yeah makes for a very lonely life people ask me why I have never dated and I always have to make up some excuse cause I don’t wanna tell the brutal truth
Sometimes there is no harm in admitting you have SAD - social anxiety disorder. There is nothing to be ashamed of as it is not like you asked for it or did something willfully to bring it on. But it may help people understand you and not think you as being stuck up or a loner, neither which is true if you could help it.
The ones who understand you the most are those who also have SAD. Someone should come up with a dating site for those with this disorder because they deserve love by someone too. :)
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