Do you have social anxiety?

[Anonymous]

You guys I am the most outspoken bubbly person in real life! I can speak to anyone about anything and I go to events alone no problem.

In fact I went to a wedding all alone and made some new friends!

~ my social anxiety only exists online ~

Texting or calling my friends makes me SO anxious. Especially if they don’t respond right away or they won’t pick up the phone.

I start to feel insecure and overthink everything like what I said, what time I called etc… will they ever talk to me again?

So basically I have “online” social anxiety because I can’t really see what their facial expressions are like.

Does anyone else have anxiety like this and if so how do you deal with it?

I’m determined to get over it.

[Still-alive]

"So basically I have “online” social anxiety because I can’t really see what their facial expressions are like. "

right so this is why i use lots of emojis as im sure you noticed lol.

and its not as bad as it used to be but i still get a little anxious around other people especially when its only me and one other person.

Something else about me is i have what i like to call a 'social battery' where i can easily be social but after awhile i can get tired out and just want to go be by myself.

[Asker]

I totally get you on the social battery thing. It overwhelms me when someone wants to see me day after day haha

[KostasKouvalis]

In that case, I have both apparently, though I'm certainly less shy to approach someone/say something online, because if it DOES get awkward, I can just block or ignore them, and I don't have to face them.

But I definitely overthink and freak out when someone isn't replying to my messages, especially if I see that they are chatting with other people.

You don't seem very anxious at all, just a little sensitive on certain things. I can kind of agree with you about the facial expressions.

[Asker]

It sucks tbh! The ignoring blocking thing does nothing to me it doesn’t change that they ignored me 😂

The in person thing…yeah I don't know I just don’t get nervous. I also feel like if they’re rude I can be rude back

[midnightmoon05]

I don’t have either.
I understand why you have it.
this has to do with your security with your care taker at a younger age.
I can practice with you by calling you or you calling me.
I have a few gag friends who I call from time to time to chat.

[Asker]

That’s the nicest thing someone has ever offered me ❤️ thank you

[midnightmoon05]

You are in the UK. I have talked to people from Canada. We use what’sapp to call/text internationally.

I am a first grade teacher in NYC.
I have 2 teen children. A girl and boy.

[Asker]

You’re from NYC? Omg that’s my dream. How is it there?

[midnightmoon05]

Live here my whole life. Just moved to Connecticut. I still spend my work days in the city. I love all. Hope you can visit soon.

[Asker]

Thanks! That sounds so nice. And do you prefer NYC or Connecticut?

[midnightmoon05]

I like both.
I enjoy the city when I go to work. See my family and friends. When I want peace and quiet, I have my home in CT.
Then if I want to see the world, I travel to other places. Me lucky girl. 😊

[Asker]

That sounds like the perfect balance I love that for you!

[midnightmoon05]

Thank you. I understand why so many hold on to fear and anxiety.
When we let go and just let things be.. take care of ourselves…
1. Sleep well
2. Eat well
3. Spend less
4 connect more
5. Work less
6. Rest more
Blab blab blab blab blab ahhaaahahaha…. Anyway…
Do you sleep well?

[Asker]

To be honest I used to sleep well but I haven’t in the past month. And it’s affected my mental health very badly. I feel super on edge

[midnightmoon05]

What changed?

[Asker]

I feel quite stressed out! My anxiety goes through phases. Sometimes I’m totally good or my anxiety is manageable. Other times it’s unbearable and for the past month it’s been that way. I’m actually started therapy again on Monday so fingers crossed!

[midnightmoon05]

My daughter has similar feelings. The good thing is, it doesn’t last her that long anymore.
She also have gone to therapy…. in my opinion, it helped some.
The rest, we helped her. We were able to do it because we knew the source of her aneixrty. But at times, it was still very challenging …she used to sad/dark music, leans towards books/shows that were not good for her.
We helped her cope, had her write in her journal first thing in the morning and before bed (write down everything that she appreciates about herself), draw, take on a sport, listen to soothing musics with healing positive energy, challenge herself, so that it fills her life with new experiences.
Again…this was from 10yrs old to now at 15.)
You have to get to the root of the cause…then work on it mostly on your own time.
Changing those thoughts/feelings with baby steps.
Even yesterday, she called me…mom can I watch this show…I had to say no in a way that will not come off controlling but caring.
Often times, parents come off controlling beciase they fear to lose that controls. Vs…trying to understand the child’s needs.

[RealMarek]

I had social anxiety both in person and over the phone, more when I was young. I enjoy socializing now, but it’s something that costs me energy and I need time alone to recover and balance it out.

[Asker]

The last sentence, I feel that way too lol. I need a lot of alone time to recover

[RealMarek]

And there’s nothing wrong with that. 😊

[Asker]

:) :)

[RealMarek]

Also, I find that time alone with my girlfriend provides the recovery I need. She’s the same as me in this regard, although where I used to have more stress socializing than I do now she used to have less.

[Asker]

Oh so you’re enjoying have your “isolation period” together?

[RealMarek]

If it was just the two of us on an island somewhere we would be very happy. But yes, after we are socializing whether one of us was out with friends/colleagues or both of us were out together, we do like to come home and relax together. We both feel the need for that downtime after socializing. I’m just glad we get the benefit of it together instead of needing to be in separate rooms.

[Asker]

That sounds ideal tbh. Especially for someone like me who’s feeling overwhelmed socialising too haha

[RealMarek]

I think I’ve mentioned before that you could benefit from a man who has a calm demeanor and has a calming and emotionally stabilizing influence on you. When you are dating someone seriously, ask yourself if he provides this to you. It’s not so much what a man does but who he is and how that matches with who you are; really it’s the interplay between his masculinity and your femininity. Anyway, I think it is ideal indeed when a couple finds solace in each other instead of stressing each other out. It’s part of having a sense of oneness as a couple.

[Asker]

Thanks, I could really benefit from that advice. I've only ever dated men who stress me out lol.

[RealMarek]

It’s good to keep in mind that however a guy is behaving early in a relationship when it’s easiest and he has the greatest incentive to be on best behavior will likely be 10x more intense after permanent commitments are made and having been together for years. Sure, there is always a chance that a person matures or has an experience that causes their behavior to change, but there is no guarantee. So if a guy stresses you out or plays games with your emotions now, just imagine once he thinks he has you “in the bag” and you have additional stressors like small children to take care of. On the other hand, if you get to know a guy who consistently makes you feel uplifted, is a calming influence, and works together well with you as a team, imagine how great that will be when there are difficulties in life. The problem is that sometimes these very stable guys get overlooked during their 20s. They’re not necessarily boring, but most of them don’t tend to create excitement or drama through mind games or being cocky.

[Asker]

Yeah that’s been one of my main motivators to move on. Just thinking logically what will this relationship be like 10 years down the line with children involved? If it’s like this now, how’s he going to treat me later on… it’s scary

[RealMarek]

Someday you’ll get to know a man where the thought is not scary. I believe this will happen to you. And this will be a man to consider very seriously.

[Asker]

Hopefully

[RealMarek]

I think you’ll learn to identify and discard the guys who are not right for you, and that will help you find one who is right for you. It is not just up to chance.

[Asker]

Yeah I think I’ve gotten a little better at it which is why I’m painfully single lol. But it’s much better than being with a headache.

[RealMarek]

Yes. There are many worse things than being single. I learned that the hard way.

[Asker]

Yeah

[OfMiceandMen]

I don't have either. I tend to be good whether it is in a gathering or online.

I just be myself and not worry about what other people think.

[Asker]

Wish I could be like that

[TonyMetal___86]

I don't have this kind of social anxiety and i really don't care about people who are online unless they were good people, whom i am friend with...

Sometimes the words can make you imagine a person's face expression...

[Asker]

Yes I get it around my friends

[TonyMetal___86]

Don't let anyone makes you feel anxious because you're a good person and when you treat someone good and they treat you bad than they don't deserve you...
You need positivity in your life, that's why you need to stay away from people who brings you negativity 😌

[Asker]

Thanks Tony. I’m gonna stick to that

[NathanDavis]

not anymore, not since my teen years...

but as a very young kid I was extremely shy and yes... anxiety would strike me very often

[art84]

Weird though I am more comfortable online than real life.

[TallAnon]

I tend to overthink, but that stops when I decide to act.

[exitseven]

Nah, I just don't like many people.

[Asker]

Same 😂

[MementoMori777]

I used too but it's gotten better

[bowenw]

More in person than online.

[dinojames22]

Yes I do