Are some people just too far gone to be helped?

[Anonymous]

In a mental sense.

[dangerDoge]

I'm actually surprised by the amount of people agreeing. I disagree wholeheartedly. Looking under the comments of ChefCurry's post, here's why I say so:

Regardless of whether person B is successful at getting Person A help, it is a completely different matter of whether Person A can be "saved" or not. If a person refuses to listen to advice, it doesn't mean the person won't ever listen to advice. If a person isn't able to find his/herself and fix their life issues, it doesn't mean that the person won't ever find/fix their life issues. We are ever changing people, and some are certainly more stubborn or have deeper issues. Life keeps moving around us, even if we don't though, and this movement can promote change within us too. Even in isolation, the fact of being alone and thinking about our issues can promote change. Being static is like saying "don't think" to someone -- people just doesn't work like that.

I've been in positions of Person B before, and I know I can't always find the right words. I'm regrettably not a genius nor a smooth talker. However, I know that even if I can't find the right words, it doesn't mean that the words don't exist to offer help. Sometimes, just talking about the issues can trigger something within the Person A to think about something a little different, which can prove ultimately just a little more beneficial in the long run. Sometimes, these talks can trigger a delayed reaction, like remembering a memory and thinking "Oh, I guess that's right" feelings.

If Person A gives up, that's an issue that can make things take turns for the worse fast. That's a reason why I try my best to convince people to keep hope. EVEN THEN though, that person can change their mind gradually and decide to not give up anymore. They can decide to muster self-care, even if they've lacked it previously. It's their life-- they have the power to control where to take it. Thus, they are not beyond getting help, and it's still important for the "Person B's" to offer a helping hand and keep trying. It's only when Person A makes a permanent and poor choice like suicide that Person A can't get help anymore.

There is no one beyond saving. There are people who have harder times getting help, sure, but there's no one who absolutely can't get help. I think people say "yes" because they think that Person A may not ever listen to them, or Person A has flat out rejected their help. Person A may not even think they can get help, but even then, they still have hope. Call me naive or whatever, but I believe in that hope and want to keep trying being a Person B for the sake of that Person A.

[Asker]

Thank you so much for this answer. Gave me a bit of a different perspective. Maybe they won't accept my advice but at very least I can talk things through with them and lend an listening ear. Thanks again!

[dangerDoge]

No problem-- glad it helped!

[Giggletr0n]

Yeah some are, some require years of therapy just to function at a normal level, and sometimes those people have had so very little hardship that it's almost laughable that they need therapy to begin with.

[GraveDoll]

Yes and that every state the human mind can go...

[ChefCurry]

Elaborate. Cause you can only help yourself?

[Asker]

I agree. But to realize they need help, or maybe they don't even care anymore about taking the required steps to get themselves help. Are those kinds of people too far gone to the point where neither they nor anybody else can help them/convince them to get help?

[ChefCurry]

I need an example. That sounds like every person

[Asker]

Person A is severely suicidal. They isolate themselves from everyone close to them. Person B tries to convince them to get professional help. Person A refuses, says they don't need help and can deal with it on their own, and isolates themselves further. Is Person A too far gone for outsiders to be able to help/convince them to do anything to improve their well-being?

[ChefCurry]

Sure

[Asker]

So in that case, is everybody supposed to essentially give up on person A and leave them entirely alone?

[ChefCurry]

Yeah why not

[Asker]

Because person A might end up taking their own life

[ChefCurry]

Well that's their choice. Are you going to feel guilty? Unless they're a child

[Asker]

Well they're a teenager so yes, I would feel guilty

[ChefCurry]

In that case you keep trying

[Asker]

I will. Any advice on how to though? they're online across the country, it's hard to keep connected with them since they stop replying and disappear for days/weeks.

[Arcana-Imperii]

I'd say MOST people are too far gone.

[Logorithim]

Yeah, it's true

[Anonymous]

Some are

[lofii]

yeah