The importance of being thin - why?

[Anonymous]

I am a normal girl, who wonders why thinness is part of success. It's not a lament over a "skinny-obsessed society" but rather a desire to know why thinness is desirable?

So, it's not a frustrated post... I want to know the reasons behind it.

I am a normal woman - I am not clinically overweight - according to my BMI, I am within the healthy weight range, and I'm a clothing US size 8/ UK size 10/a European size 38.

I don't wish to sound arrogant, but just so that you can see the situation more clearly - I am also considered to be pretty in my face, hair, general looks etc, my weight is the only aspect of my appearance which I think may be a problem.

That being said, I am not thin. My thighs are not sticks and you can pinch an inch on my stomach. Yet I feel the pressure at my college that if I am not slimmer, I will not succeed in my career, nor get a man. I cannot be the best, and not part of the top 10% of slimmest women.

This is re-iterated in the fact that most successful female public figures - whether politicians, business-women or celebrities, are also extremely slim.

But I am very motivated and I have to prioritize my time.

I now work out about twice a week, walk everywhere and eat about 75% healthy, 25% naughty - but when I say naughty, I mean like a couple of biscuits once a day - not huge binges on fries and mayo.

I enjoy my food and cooking and do not want to diet/cut down.

My friends have encouraged me to go on their daily work-outs and runs - and it's not that this would be too difficult for me, it's just that all the other things that I care about in my life would have to take a backseat - due to the fact that I work long hours.

I don't see why my weight should be a problem if I am not clinically overweight - but all the skinny women have boyfriends, and due to the fact that all the other women at my university are ridiculously slim, I feel I would be more respected if I were thinner.

Men say that they don't want a woman to be skinny - BUT THEY UNIVERSALLY DATE THE SLIMMEST ONES (not the skeletal ones - but the skinniest ones in a healthy weight range).

If I knew WHY and if there was a reason - then I would be more motivated to do so, but now, I just think it's a stupid thing in our society and would rather prioritize something else.

Is it due to the fact that it shows self-discipline on a woman's part and therefore prestige in a partner - or purely because you think it looks hotter?

Is it simply part of the fact that slimness is valued in a partner of either gender due to fitness being desirable anyway?

Neither one is wrong - again, this is not a lament - but I would like to know why.

[Anonymous]

I asked myself these questions when I was young.I used to think thinness is part of success or people who are successful tend to be very thin, but actually, it really isn't. And in fact, that’s a rather immature thinking as we compare ourselves with others without truly understanding others, our own backgrounds and what we really need. There's really NO importance of being thin, nor is thinness part of success. What matters most and should be anyone’s priority is our HEALTH. Health is not only achieved through physical but also mental, emotional and psychological well-being. Surely it seems as though many celebs and so-called-successful people are slim and all, but are they always healthy? Are they always happy? Have a think about the nature of their job, and how much stress they go through all the time. Physically they may look desirable, but many times we can only see what’s on the surface and not knowing what’s going inside.

In terms of getting the guy, what guys TRULY are looking for is the charisma. Women desire to be thin due to social pressure and copying what others do, without having an understanding of their own body. The whole "BUT THEY UNIVERSALLY DATE THE SLIMMEST ONES amongst the healthy girls" is merely a perception and it's not true at all. Surely there are guys who say slim girls are the hottest and prettiest, but these ideas are more often sensationalized by the media which is manifested as something we girls should pursue when it’s actually not. If you are decently good looking as you said, with good personality, good health and good attitude, there’s absolutely nothing to worry about. If they don’t like you because of your appearance, you just save yourself from dating people who can’t appreciate you.

I have been with thin girls since high school. I’m very similar to you in measurement and lifestyle, yet I'm biggest-sized girl here. I used to be self conscious and very insecure of myself because I’ve never been the thin girl, and I’ve been compared and laughed by many mean people although my looks are fine. What really made me outgrew this stage was coming to terms that that’s how I look when I’m healthy, understanding who I truly am&knowing what I should do to stay healthy.

Success is not defined by the things which you’ve mentioned in relation to being thin. What you/others are thinking now is really just a phase of life. When you get older or become more mature, you'll stop to think about these things and learn to see life more differently. If you are physically, mentally and emotionally healthy right now; if you’ve found a balance as to what you need and ought to do in life for yourself, you've done yourself the best job ever, whether you are slim looking or not. Don't ever like the society, others insecurities, lack of understanding on situation, or your surroundings affect how you think. Here’s a quote that I truly believe: “When you have health, you have hope. When you have hope, you have everything in this world."

[Opinion Owner]

forgot to mention this: No matter how thin (within healthy weight range) a girl is, most guys are actually looking for a girl with a gorgeous face most of the time ;)

[Anonymous]

People have been trained by the media to find certain things attractive. If the media promoted pear shape women with big butts and thick legs, society would value that body type.

Also how do you dress? I noticed a lot of thin women feel confident because of society's backing them up so they groom themselves more, dress really nice and act confident.

[taster]

Media sucks...I am SO sick of heaing that smokers suck and gays are cool...I rarely smoke anymore...and I am not a homophobe...altho...listening to TV is a good reason to become one...

[smexiliciousss]

Because guys like small waits and yeahh? I don't know, if you're average it's not like they see you as fat, your weight is ultimately not the problem

[hwalton211]

Indeed, our society in America is obsessed with looks and appearances. And it's really ridiculous. As far as why, I've been trying to figure that one out all my life. There are those who will like you, and those who won't. You are who you are, and there are guys who are going to find you attractive because of who you are. I personally like a little "meat" on my woman but not too much. It is quite normal for women to "thicken" up a bit in their late 20's and early 30's. Not only because of child birth, but it's just a part of life. True, the guys will go for the skinny girls, get them pregnant, then they will thicken up and become more like a grown woman and not a girl. It's important to realize that weight and looks can be temporary. I'm sure that you look very different now than you did when you were 3 years old. By the same token, in 10 years you will look different than you do today. If a guy can't accept you as you are, through the changes of life, then he hasn't got the character needed to be with you long term. Sure, movie stars and television personalities seem to always have the ideal figure, but for most of us, we change as the years go by. It should be more important to be healthy than to be skinny.

You could say that being skinny is equated with being healthy. And being healthy is what attracts us to a life partner. And it's all because we want to choose someone who is going to be around for us in the years to come. But really, life can bring us many surprises, so there are no guarantees. We still choose that which seems a safer investment to us (or what seems safer in our minds at the time). And too often, we tend to choose based almost entirely on appearances rather than to look at character. It's that character, and compatibility, NOT how that person looks, that is really going to matter in the end.

[Quadrophonic84]

Generally, thinner women are more attractive to me and I think it has a lot to do with the fact that they know they look good and carry themselves with confidence and purpose. When I'm around girls who are constantly adjusting their clothes and keeping their heads down, I get uncomfortable because I feel how uncomfortable they are. For the record I don't like skeletal skinny girls. I lost my virginity to one and that was a pretty painful experience, getting stabbed in the pubic area with a razor sharp pelvis.

I have found many women very attractive who were at the upper end of the healthy range. Christina Hendricks comes to mind immediately. But she carries herself like she's Queen of the World. A beautiful self-possessed woman is second to none in attractiveness, and for whatever reason, many bigger girls look like they're trying to hide in plain sight.

[music4life]

"When I'm around girls who are constantly adjusting their clothes and keeping their heads down, I get uncomfortable because I feel how uncomfortable they are" probably applies to any girls, but I understand where you are coming from.

I believe generally girls see that there are more attractive girls within the thinner group as compared to the not so thin group. Thus, being thin increases their chances of being perceived as attractive. And I agree with Christina Hendricks. She's gorgeous:)

[Mesonfielde]

I can't really provide any evidences, but I personally believe that the media is attempting to make something the "norm of health" that is anything but healthy, and so people who try to do their best to be accepted and loved (considering as we can see, many are in need of and in search of that) and therefore spend a lot of time and especially money for products that might help.

Essentially, I think this is to financially benefit from the insecurities of people.

It's a shame, really... most people are the way they are because they were meant to be that way.

[Disputin_Rasputin]

You hit the nail on the head; it's the media's perception of what's attractive. An idea which, if repeated and pushed hard enough on the population eventually becomes their perception of what "attractive" is as well.

The popular media realize they're guilty of this and are now introducing more realistic models, but the truth of the matter is that the perception is still there and that's why we as a society still have ridiculous diseases such as Anorexia and Bulimia.

It's unbelievable.

[barkmoon]

FACT.

[salsa_shark]

One of the best quotes ever in my estimation is, "whoever controls the media, controls the mind." That pretty much sums this all up; it's all psychological. A media mind-f***.

Further evidence of this being all in our heads, way back around the Elizabethan era (I think, haha) fatter people were considered attractive, because being fat meant you ate well, which meant you were wealthy. The exact opposite of the way it is now. Humans are a comparatively young species, so this changed pretty quickly.

For a supposedly sophisticated and civilized species, we really are very easily led and predictable.

[achilles_13]

I used to be a fatty ... never a girlfriend, no job opportunities, nothing ...

Now I have defined chest muscles, a sixpack, ... first girlfriend within a month, and finding a job is no sweat ... it's just the way it is ...

(btw I don't like skinny minny's ... A woman should look like a woman)

[barkmoon]

F***ing media, as they said. What you said ´man universally date the slimmest ones´ is so not true. Most guys don't want a super skinny girl, that's a turn off. Not only because it may seem you starve yourself or something, but also because it shows the girl cares way too much about looks, and that, is also a huge turn off.

[music4life]

Most girls get the idea that being super skinny looking is a turn off. But she's saying that slim and thin girls who are healthy seem or at least appear to get all the attention and people find them attractive as compared to a healthy but not slim/thin looking girl.

[barkmoon]

I don't agree with that. It depends what you call skinny, but guys in general don't like skinny girls. I like thin girls, but not skinny.

[barkmoon]

to give you an idea link the one from the left is horrible, major turn off

[music4life]

Victoria Beckham! LOOOOOOL!

What do you not agree with, if I may ask? Girls know that it's not attractive to be skinny like her (although some do), but they feel that being thin is attractive and believe that most guys find thin girls attractive too. She did mention "not the skeletal ones - but the skinniest ones in a healthy weight range", which means thinnest in the healthy range.

[barkmoon]

Its a psychological issue wanting so bad to be thin, just look at the girl?s post. I bet she's perfectly okay, yet she's not satisfied with herself. Its all in the f***ing media, that makes some girls think they have to perfect to be considered pretty. Just look at that picture of Victoria Beckham...shes way thin (could be worse, but still) and its considered ?okay?.

[peace-love-couture]

People attempt to blame the media, but at the end of the day being thin is attractive(within a healthy weight range)

[music4life]

I'll have to disagree with this. Many middle-aged woman who are thin when they are young wanna go the opposite direction now because their face and neck lose the fat as they age (even though they are within a healthy weight range) and that makes them haggard-looking, which is not an attractive thing :/

[peace-love-couture]

I disagree, you're making assumptions which do not apply to society

[music4life]

where have I made assumptions if I may ask? I'm purely saying what some of the middle-aged women have told me, observed the society and find that there's some truth in it. My mom is also an example of being thin and now losing the fat in the face. She finds it haggard-looking and wanna gain weight, though she's already in healthy weight range.

[peace-love-couture]

Speaking of middle aged women. That's obviously individual, it does not simply apply to all because your mother feels that way.

[music4life]

Yeah of course it's individual. that's why I said "middle-aged woman who are thin when they are young". For the least, it applies to women who have been thin all this while till their middle age. Whether they feel that they are haggard looking or not for looking thin but in a healthy weight range is entirely up to them. All I was saying is I disagree because thin in a healthy weight range doesn't necessary make one look attractive.

[peace-love-couture]

Are we not speaking of society? Not our individual view points.

[music4life]

The society doesn't always think thin is attractive. and what we think what the society thinks is also an individual point of view and subjective.

[peace-love-couture]

Then why would she be asking this? Duh

[peace-love-couture]

I think you're just looking to argue with me(or somebody) to be quite honest

[music4life]

if only the creator of this world standardize all the girls to be of same weight and fat, this would solve many questions in gag, lol :P

[swhite2009]

If you are a size 8 you are thin so stop running down the rabit hole. The vast majority of guys are fine with your weight so if you are having an issue in that regard look foe another reason, its not weight.

[Anonymous]

I think that the women who are political figures are too busy to eat.