How do I tell my family I want to go to therapy/without them knowing?

[Meili2003]

I really want to go to therapy. I am a big supporter of it even if you don’t have a mental illness or anything, it’s great for everyone. My parents don’t see it that way though. I have many symptoms of bipolar disorder and it’s mentally exhausting and I really want help with it, I have been wanting help forever. I thought I would get my chance when my doctor recommended therapy for my needle phobia (I was shaking and sweating and crying Omg it was so bad) but anyway my mom told my dad that and he said “you don’t need therapy, it’s just someone talking to you about a fear. You can get over it yourself and overcome it” and stuff like that. And I know my mom would basically want to become my therapist and ask me why and what I feel and try giving me advice and I just don’t like doing that with family, it makes me very uncomfortable. But anyway, I’m only 18 so I’m still on their insurance and I can’t afford it without it. How do I get therapy without my parents knowing all the details and making me uncomfortable?

[abc3643]

You can't. It's impossible.

Since you are on your parents' insurance, when that insurance is used, they will be mailed something from the insurance company called an "Explanation of Benefits" which summarily lists the "provider" (medical professional seen), when, where, what was done (limited subject to HIPAA laws) and... who the patient was.
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www.healthinsurance.org/.../
What is an explanation of benefits?
An explanation of benefits (EOB) is the insurance company’s written explanation regarding a claim, showing what they paid and what the patient must pay. The document is sometimes accompanied by a benefits check, but it’s more typical for the insurer to send payment directly to the medical provider.

The EOB is not a bill, although it will explain any charges that the patient still owes or may have already paid (in the form of a copay at the time the medical care was received, for example). If the patient owes additional money after the insurance company has paid its portion, the medical provider will send a separate bill, which should match the patient’s portion listed on the EOB.

www.healthvalues.org/.../
how to read a health insurance eob
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I agree with your mother...

Look, humans have existed for over 2 million years and without therapists for about 1.999 million years.
You can get over what is bothering you like your needle phobia. Talking isn't going to fix it. Experiencing it and getting over it will.

Let me explain:
When I was a boy, I was deathly afraid of the dark. But, I gradually put myself in a dark place like my bedroom and with no light whatsoever. It was scary but I kept my composure and let my rational brain overcome my irrational brain. Eventually, I came to realize that there's nothing dangerous in this room and the most dangerous thing in here is me!

This is an example of using your intellect to overcome your irrational fears.
...
But I want to talk about fear generally...

Fear is rooted in the unknown.

You don't fear the sun when you wake up in the morning, do you? Of course not, because you know FROM EXPERIENCE that it's not going to harm you. It does the same thing each and every day, so it is predictable and you can feel safe. You don't fear the sun because you _know_ the sun from having _experienced_ the sun over and over and over.

Many of our fears are overcome the same way. We fear what we fear because we don't know what's going to happen. Once we have experiences with what we fear, we no longer fear it because we know it and know how to deal with it.

Here's an example:

Suppose I get us two identical ice cream cones. You ask me "What flavor is it?" I say "It's zorkberry."

Now, you have no idea about zorkberry because this is the first time you ever heard of it.
You might fear eating the zorkberry ice cream because you have no idea what the flavor is and, for all you know, zorkberries contain toxins.
But, you've had experience with ice cream. And you see that I'm eating it. So, your rationale is telling you it's likely not poisonous. Also, it's ice cream and you've had that numerous times so ice cream isn't much to fear.
But... what about the flavor? It could taste like dog poo for all you know... or it could be the greatest flavor ever...
What do you do?
You could say "No thank you. I'll get a vanilla one for myself."
Or, you could face your fears and experience zorkberry ice cream and then know - good or bad - whether you like it or not.
BUT... ONCE YOU HAVE TASTED IT... __THEN__ you KNOW. You don't have to fear zorkberry ice cream. You may hate the flavor, but you know that you don't want it in the future.
Or you may love the flavor and want more.

But, you see, the bottomline was that you got over the fear of the flavor of zorkberry ice cream by actually experiencing the flavor of zorkberry ice cream which went from being unknown to known.

[Meili2003]

Thank you for the reply! I have gotten over the needles pretty well with the surgery I just had I think. The main issue though is the Bipolar disorder symptoms I have. I have tried to overcome it or fix it by myself and I really just can’t. I don’t know what else to do :( I would at least like to be diagnosed so I can get treatment or something

[exitseven]

Ask your doctor about this. He will be helpful and will not betray your confidence.

[Meili2003]

Great, now I just need to wait 6 months for my next appointment haha i will definitely do that!

[exitseven]

I am serious about this. I was clinically depressed and it was my PCP that helped me the most.

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO😎

[Iron_Man]

Just tell them exactly what you said here that you’re going and you don’t want them knowing about it But please pay for it