What should I do for this?

I went to psychiatry in 2019. I used drugs. A few months later I went to another doctor. I used different drugs for a long time and none of them helped. I've attempted suicide many times. He decided to hospitalize me, but it was canceled due to corona. I went to another doctor in 2020. She also prescribed medicine. It didn't work. I changed doctors again. I took medication but said I wanted to go to a psychologist. She said you don't need to go to a psychologist. I got angry, I tore up the paper she gave me and left. What should I do? :/
What should I do for this?
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