What should I do about this?

[Anonymous]

So there’s this guy clearly likes me and wants sex with me, already implying he wants babies with me. Problem is I’m a lover of my own company and would be happily single for the rest of my life. I’m worried about having kids due to being genetically vulnerable in general. Also I don’t want to go through the horror of pregnancy childbirth also issue of STDs having sex. I would also want to sleep in separate rooms long term have my own space I crave solitude and not into the idea of couples that are tied at the hip. At same time, although I’m not into him now, we don’t know each other that well and I think I could possibly definitely be into him. He’s handsome, we’re compatible and he has a nice personality. I feel if I waste him then I’ll never be with anyone and then that means I’ll be single for the rest of my life. But at same time being single for rest of my life sounds awesome too and trust me I’ve already had the internal conversation about not doing anything due to societal pressure etc and being embarrassed about being a virgin or never been in a relationship or had kids. What on earth should I do about all this? I’m 27

[Oliverlogan263]

Here are my recommendations based on what you've shared:

1. Don't feel pressured to be with this guy just because you think you may not find anyone else. Being single and happy is a valid choice. Don't compromise your values and needs just to avoid being alone.

2. If you definitely don't want kids or a traditional coupled life, be upfront about that now before getting more seriously involved. Mismatched visions for the future is a recipe for resentment.

3. Get to know this guy slowly as friends first before deciding if there's true compatibility and potential. Take sex and babies completely off the table for now. See if you genuinely enjoy spending time with him with no strings attached.

4. Be cautious of anyone who immediately talks about babies and implies wanting to have sex. Those are red flags of someone who may not actually see or respect you as a whole person. Proceed very carefully.

5. Focus on your own priorities, needs and values. What truly brings you joy and fulfillment? Don't base major life decisions like relationships or parenthood on fear of being single or societal expectations.

6. It's okay to keep your options open while remaining true to yourself. Get to know this guy, set clear boundaries, and see how you truly feel without pressure. Stay open but trust your gut. If you're not feeling it, don't force it.

In summary, don't rush into anything. Be very clear and firm about what you do and don't want in a relationship. Get to know this guy for who he really is, not who you think he could be. And above all, stay true to yourself and what brings you joy - whether that includes a relationship or committed single life. I hope this perspective helps! Please let me know if you have any other questions.

[Asker]

Thanks this great advice you’re very wise for 22

[Oliverlogan263]

Thank you so much

[Oliverlogan263]

And you’re welcome

[slatyb]

First, it's fine if you don't want to marry or have children or sleep with anyone. You can still have a relationship with someone who can be content with that.

If you don't want to have sex, then maybe you should stay single. I think you are exaggerating the risks of pregnancy and STDs. We have very effective contraceptives, and blood tests for STDs.

[Asker]

Birth control I believe the only effective contraceptive and that carries risks that people don’t think about

[slatyb]

IUDs are highy effective

[kylee2437]

Sounds like you are emotionally unavailable and are going to put this man through hell and back if he shows aspects that aren’t completely perfect to you. You should stay single and don’t make someone go through hoops to impress you.

[ImalwaysrightOK]

Make sure he's not lying and allow yourself to be vulnerable if he proves to be worth it.