How often do you PASS GAS?

[AviatorTom]

The average human passes gas 13 to 21 times a day.

So, be honest, how flatulent are you?

[BungusHighFivePizza]

I might be around average but I distribute my 13-21 in a lopsided side fashion when no one else is around, usually late at night or early in the morns. So to most people I never fart.

[BungusHighFivePizza]

Even my wife might have never witnessed me farting unless she caught one when I was sleeping and unable to control it. There are only a few people in my life who have seen me fart. Once was in math class in 5th grade when I had some stomach ache and I couldn't help it. My mother might have seen me fart when I was a baby but I was helpless and didn't know any better.

[OlderAndWiser]

FYI, that sudden release after you wake up every day is called "morning thunder."

[BungusHighFivePizza]

@OlderAndWiser I haven't gotten those quite yet! But I got morning wood still even in my 40s. I'm hardly a virgin (the common assumption of someone still waking up with morning wood) but I think it's because I sleep face-down and my wife says I'm sort of restless, tossing and turning a lot in bed. So I think the friction down there creates morning wood almost every day.

[OlderAndWiser]

Actually, your testosterone level changes throughout the day and it steadly rises while you are sleeping and is at its peak when you awaken. If you ever get your testostrone level check by a blood test, your doctor will tell you that it needs to be at a certain time of day because the norms were all established at that particular time of day. For most labs, it is 8 am.

[BungusHighFivePizza]

@OlderAndWiser I wonder if there a physical/mental discrepancy. Since I get hard-ons that last so long that they start to hurt in the mornings while I'm bending over in the toilet trying not to piss all over the place. But I don't want to have sex at all. I just want to pee without spraying the walls.

Then at night is when I usually wanna do the dirty. But sometimes the equipment doesn't cooperate if I drank too much. I need that morning thing there but the morning is when I don't wanna do it.

[OlderAndWiser]

I've got no explanation for that!

[BungusHighFivePizza]

@OlderAndWiser Kind of a detachment from mind and body as I see it! Might be more familiar to alcoholics. Our mind wants to do it the most at some point but we've drank like 20 tequila shots and D is totally limp. Can flick it and yank it and throw it all around and it's completely dead. Then apologize to the girl and say it's not her, just me, yada yada, while she develops some complex: "I'm so ugly, I'm so fat, my tits are small!" And you're like, "I really wanted to pound your P last night!" Then wake up in the morn with epic morning wood and you aren't even in the mood -- just trying to piss and you end up hitting the ceiling.

[mobiusforniner]

After eating those damn fake ass burger king onion rings? Too much. But thats the joy of having kids, I blame them whenever i rip one.

[DizzyDesii]

If i do, im likely sleep when i do it so im not keeping count

[SaoirseS]

Ladies don't do that ;-)

[AviatorTom]

Nice try, medical authorities say otherwise. 😃

[SaoirseS]

If and when we do, we don't leave witnesses. Not ones that live anyway ;-)

[OfMiceandMen]

I usually save it for the washroom. Not about to let it go in public. Other than that, it may happen while I sleep.

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

I am uncomfortable in sharing this specific detail.

[exitseven]

Damn, now I have to keep count. I would say maybe 40 -50 times a day but i will try to count.

[Anonymous]

I've never tried to count. But I'd assume it would depend what I've eaten. Beans, onions, tomato sauce, and cucumbers are 4 foods i know give me the winds something terrible.

[AnusNdaPainus]

I’m probably more than that I run a lot and eat a lot of protein and fiber

[coachTanthony]

Not sure but wait... ah there it is.

[Lyndsielee666]

I don’t eat so hardly ever 🤪🤪

[OlderAndWiser]

I am normal in SO many ways!

[Christoff92]

Department what I ate.