I think she is seriously ill?

[Anonymous]

My stepdaughter is 15. She moved in with me and my partner nearly a year ago. She has attention and love from us both. My partner has only been in her life for a year and a half as he never wanted children and she obviously doesn’t know this. Now and again she does things for attention or do random stuff like hiding things like my toothbrush and saying it’s not her who has taken it or spoons going missing. She said her friend at school gets attention because she has epilepsy, and that she was jealous of the attention her friend was getting so she made something up that was wrong with her. There has been a few bits here and there at home. But more recently it’s happening a lot more… like asking for a bandage the other day and when I said she didn’t need one she was like but they are cool though. Well yesterday she cut herself with glass which she said she found at school, the scratches are all over her arm where they can be seen, my partner went out with her to get the bandage she wanted which I said no to. A week a go she was in a&e with stomach pain she packed her bag with a makeup bag, brush and her school book, she seemed happy to be going to hospital…

i just don’t understand, and I’m trying. But I feel like she is doing all this for attention. I feel like I’m going crazy as my partner always has a go at me saying I shouldn’t judge… but this isn’t the first time. I do feel bad but there is something constantly.

Any ideas or thoughts?

[chloeaimeejensen]

It sounds a lot like she might have autism or Asperger’s syndrome. Does she get upset, annoyed or argumentative when things change (such as a furniture rearrangement in a room). Does she have a set daily routine and does not like it when that daily routine is disrupted by something that wasn’t planned for (such as an appointment to attend or a visitor turning up unexpectedly). Does she have a habit of being a picky eater (such as not eating food that she does not visually like the look of). Does she spend more time in the house rather than going out (such as staying at home to watch TV or go on the computer instead of going out with friends to the park on a nice day). Does she have no desire to have a sex life or get into a loving relationship. Does she have unrealistic expectations (such as expecting a parent to leave her billions of dollars after they die). These are all signs of autism or Asperger’s syndrome. I recommend that you take her to the doctor and explain everything like you just did here, the doctor will most likely refer you to a clinical psychiatrist who will be able to give you a confirmed autism diagnosis. I don’t know where you live but here where I am in California, when someone is diagnosed with autism they are entitled to apply to have support worker’s assistance for a certain amount of hours per week and they’re also entitled to a reduction on the cost of any medication that they may take for conditions related to the autism.

[midnightmoon05]

Yes. You and her will always budhead because you are not her mom…this is normal…her dad has the greatest power to raise her with your love/support and guidance.

Please understand this child and do not deny her feelings. The smallest issue in our mind is a huge deal to her.
she wants a bandage…

”oh…what happened? Let me take a look.”

her - “ I’m fine” rolls her eyes.

she is challenging her power——————————————————————

this is the age she becomes a rebel or yiu and dad can help her become a great woman.

inam work for with my second husband to raise “our” daughter…

my son has more challenge for my husband.

my daughter when going to her dad…she gets anxiety being around dads new wife…she doesn’t want to be there.

so you will never be able to win yiur step daughter … but yiu as the mature woman…be that loving wife to her father and give them space to have dad and daughter time.

she is cutting her self beciase she is keeping her feelings/hurt/anger/anxiety to herself.

She is innocent…she needs love and understanding from dad and mom. She doesn’t know why dad and mom can’t be together…she recents herself for it.

feel free to friend me…love to help more.

[Dildօphօbe]

By the beard of Moses, my dear chap, I can sense that you are in quite the pickle with your stepdaughter's shenanigans. Fear not, for I shall offer you some sage advice in a manner that would make Shakespeare himself bow in reverence.

Listeneth thou carefully, for the key to unlocking thy stepdaughter's behavior may lie in the depths of her psyche. Hast thou tried engaging in a heart-to-heart with her, where thou asketh about her feelings and thoughts? Methinks that may be the way to go.

Whilst thy partner's opinion may differ from thine own, let not that ruffle thy feathers. Instead, worketh together to find a solution that suits thy family.

And most verily, do not forget to shower thy stepdaughter with love and support. Forsooth, she may just need a little bit of encouragement and understanding to overcome her troubles.

[AngryCarl2]

When kids do stuff to get attention it's because either they're not getting enough attention, or they're getting the wrong kind of attention. Clearly there's a problem but she may not be okay with telling you what it is.

[8UniquelyBoring8]

It sounds like your stepdaughter may be struggling with feelings of insecurity and a need for attention. It's important to approach the situation with empathy and understanding, and to show her that you care and are willing to listen to her concerns. It may be helpful to have an open and honest conversation with her to explore why she feels the need to seek attention in these ways and to reassure her that she is loved and valued. It may also be beneficial to seek the help of a therapist or counselor who can work with her to develop healthy coping strategies and build her self-esteem.

[BarryLiverstone]

I would suggest you get involved with groups of fellow parents to get support and ideas from them.