How do I recognize this?

[Anonymous]

How do I recognize I’m being mentally abused. When sometimes it’s okay, and then it goes bad again?

[Oliverlogan263]

Look, no one deserves to be treated like crap, even if it's not all the time. Mental abuse can be sneaky cause the good days make you think maybe it's not so bad. But here's some signs to watch out for:

- They put you down a lot, criticize everything you do or say. Nobody's perfect but it shouldn't be constant.

- They control who you see/talk to, isolate you from friends and family over time. That's not right.

- Big mood swings from them. Sweet one moment then flying off the handle over little things.

- You always feel like you're walking on eggshells, nervous what little thing will set them off.

- Threatening you if you try to leave or standing up for yourself. Red flag city.

- Blaming you for how they act, saying you make them that way. Nah, they choose their actions.

Trust me, it starts small but it'll chip away at your self-esteem over time. Don't let anyone treat a sister like that, even if they nice sometimes. You deserve real respect, all the time. LMK if you ever wanna talk, 'kay? I'm here for you.

[Asker]

That’s what has happened to me …, sometimes it’s okay and he’s okay. Other times he’s calling me names, threatening to thrown me out, asking me for money all the time, shouting
Mood swings, throwing me out the house, threatening to throw my clothes out the house when I’m at work and then it will be sorry until it happens again … 👎

[Oliverlogan263]

That situation definitely sounds toxic and abusive. The unpredictable mood swings and threats are a textbook abuse tactic meant to intimidate and control you.

No one deserves to be treated that way or made to walk on eggshells, never knowing what might set him off. Threatening to throw you out when you're not even home is so manipulative and cowardly.

This isn't a healthy relationship by any means. You don't have to put up with being called names, yelled at or constantly stressed about what he might do next. No amount of apologies afterwards make that okay.

My advice would be to start making a safety plan to get out. Reach out to trusted friends/family, women's shelters, or a helpline like The Hotline for guidance on safely leaving an abusive situation. They can help connect you with resources and emotional support too.

You don't deserve to live in fear. Stay strong - you can get through this and build a life surrounded by people who truly care about you. Don't be afraid to ask for help, you've got this!

[Cocochoh]

You have to get to root problem.

The sureface) it hurts now but as long as they acknowledge my needs everything is fine.

Repeated mental attack ) there's nothing wrong with me I know my worth / there's something wrong with me, my loved ones and the ones I care fir threaten my very need

The deep surface level) what are my needs that is being meet then taken away?

At its core) the actions displayed are they helpful? No? Why?

Root problem) I deny what I need. And what I need is at it deep surface level.

That's when you know something is wrong and wgat you need.