Is it shallow not to date someone overweight cause you see it as both being unhealthy and them not caring enough to make the effort to lose weight?

[Anonymous]

I know some people have medical conditions that cause them to gain excessive weight. I'm referring to weight gain caused by someone's own personal, controllable actions.

Yes

No

[Universaldance]

Real good q. I’ve often given myself these gut checks as I explore potential dating partners in the season that I’m in. In short, it is not shallow to have preferred traits in a partner.


For example: I started at about 35/40 traits I’d want for my partner to have and it has worked its way to 59/60 and now 65/65. I cannot think of any more. You can be dang sure I won’t look at any other girl once I find a girl that has all of them. To look the other way would be to let slip all of these 65+ blessings. This was actually the case recently though it was a missed connection :/


It is my understanding that dating is just an act of courting to a long-term commitment in matrimony. Dating saves time in discovering key standards, traits, values, or preferences as important as healthy weight habits especially in one of the biggest decisions to make in our lives is not shallow at all as I personally find.


If weight gain that someone has control over is your deal breaker in dating then that is relative to your values and I’m sure if the roles were switched they would have a concern if you for example chose to indulge in smoking or drinking or getting high- similar habits that compromise your health like theirs is no different to unhealthy weight which alters the quality of life for you as a couple.


Could you commit to someone long-term that won’t take care of themselves or their health?

[sean1234]

Medical condition? You are what you eat and vitually everything is junk food even gmo plants.

Anyhow, OBESITY is EXTREMELY UNNATRACTIVE!!! I find it discusting. All one has to do eat eat good food, as in no more fast food, no more junk food, eat a Whole Foods Plant Based Diet.

[Alli112]

It is if you're making that assumption about them at a glance rather than actually informing yourself of their lifestyle, or if you're making that choice without applying the same expectations to your own health regime. Wanting someone with similar values or lifestyles is perfectly reasonable and is honestly a good starting place in trying to find long term compatibility.

Assuming someone is irresponsible at a glance, however, is just sort of rude and definitely shallow. In the same vein, being thin doesn't mean you lead a healthy lifestyle either, so it would also be shallow to be willing to date a thin person with a terrible lifestyle if you're saying your concern lies with health and personal responsibility.

[Nikki1989]

Yes, it is shallow, but most people are generally shallow anyway. If it is not weight, it is something else equally trivial.

[strateguy632]

it depends if she is a bit overweight then saying health is inaccurate and only shallow.

if it is more than bmi range, then not shallow.

also now, we need to resist the pressure to "prove" , we do not fat shame by, dating fat , and same about interracial.

[Dongie]

How about ones own racial brethren. Love they need too.

[meepmeeperton]

No, it’s fine to want someone that takes care of themselves. You can have any body type preference you want and it’s not shallow, it’s just what you’re attracted to.

[RebelinSteel]

You can decide not to date someone for a large number of reasons, it’s a personal choice, don’t like left ganders, don’t date her.

[MicahRaine]

It's not shallow because it's not about the weight/appearance, it's about the effect that has on their health and life expectancy.

[alice55]

Is it, anything having to do with looks is shallow but you're free to date who you want

[DarkLegacy]

Same with women

[alice55]

@DarkLegacy Both are shallow a lot of time

[DarkLegacy]

Typical hypocrisy from women. If this was a woman asking this they would all vote no.

[Dongie]

Is it your fault that your pecker goes into hiding at the sight of cellulite.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Yes, it is shadow