Should I Join My Boyfriend's Sports Tournament Tour?

[Anonymous]

Hi everyone,

My boyfriend is participating in a sports tournament in another city this weekend, and he’s invited me to join him from Friday to Sunday. I’m torn about whether or not to go because I’m struggling with some personal family issues and have been having a tough time lately. I’m also feeling like I wouldn’t want to stay at home alone. If I do decide to go, he mentioned that it would be good if I could participate in the tour with him.

Here are my thoughts on whether to go or not:

Reasons to Go:

Change of Scenery: A new place might help lift my spirits and provide a welcome distraction.
Support: I’d love to watch him play and support him in a sport I care about.
Understanding His World: I want to see what his sports tours are like. I sometimes struggle with insecurities, and I worry about him being safe and whether there might be issues like cheating.

New Experience: This could be a fun and unique experience for me.

Reasons Not to Go:

Social Concerns: I don’t know his friends very well and tend to be shy in social situations. I’m worried about not fitting in and being stuck there all weekend if I don’t connect with them.

Tour Responsibilities: I’m concerned about being labelled as a “tour virgin,” with responsibilities like handling food and beverages. There will also be a couple of new guys that are going and 1 family with mother and son going along with the dad. My boyfriend said I might not have many duties, but the thought still worries me.

I’d appreciate any advice or thoughts on what you think might be the best course of action. Or if you have any suggestions on how I can ease my anxiety would be great too thank you.

Thanks!

Yes

No

[Skinhead-1979]

I am conflicted... I am going to give you advise which I probably wouldn't follow myself.

As harsh as it may sound; your difficult time won't be going for a while (I sincerely hope it does, of course, but sadly mental health struggles don't work that way)... his Sports Tournament is only for a limited time.

The proper advise would be: Yes go, do it for him... because he really wants you to be there.

But without knowing any details regarding your struggles, I dare to say you and I are the same.

I have severe social anxiety, and I may even suffer from Agoraphobia too; I practically live like a Hermit. I barely come out. I don't invite people over, nor do I go to other people's places.

While I am a social person, and oddly enough do well in the presence of strangers as long as it is outside, as long as there aren't too many people; I would severely struggle with going to any kind of venue: music venues, sports venues... Nope, not happening.

So that's why I say "The proper advise would be: Yes go, do it for him... because he really wants you to be there." but also "I am conflicted... I am going to give you advise which I probably wouldn't follow myself."

[Skinhead-1979]

"But without knowing any details regarding your struggles, I dare to say you and I are the same."

I'll correct myself a little bit there:

But without knowing any details regarding your struggles, I dare to say you and I are A LITTLE BIT the same

[RavVid]

Just go and be a good sport. You'll only not fit in if you feel as though you won't fit in. It is not that big a deal if they want you to do a beer run or food run for them and they'll think you a good girl for it and appreciate you.

I think it will help you to get away from other issues.

[alice55]

If you have personal problem I think you should stay home and try to solve them. I know that personally I would be in a sour mood and not agreeable to be around if I had problem and was forced to go far from my home in a stressful environment (because competition are never calm or cool it's highly stressful and people become quite mean / aggressive snap easily for no reasons during those).

[Little_Bumblebee]

Go. Sound like it will be a fun weekend, it sounds like it would be good for you to get out.
And a great opportunity to support your boyfriend.

I would love to be there for a partner.

Personally, I would bring some form of entertainment as an insurance if it turns out to be boring or you get some freetime in some way or form.

[spartan55]

So you want to go to make sure he's 'safe', and there aren't issues with cheating? Ha what? That completely stood out from your other reasons. Why would you think that?
What the hell is a 'sports tour'?

[kylee2437]

You are very much so overthinking this entire thing. Go join him, go have fun and who cares what others think. If he cared about your level of skill when he came to those sports, he wouldn’t have invited you.

[kylee2437]

When it came***

[Lynx122]

I think you should go. Your cons sound more like anxiety like things that you worry about but won't be a problem once you're there. And the pros have a lot more substance.

[Kayla45]

Go for it to show your support, it would probably mean a lot to him.

[Shy_Steve]

Just talk to him about it and be honest.

If he cares about you he isn't gonna want to make you feel uncomfortable.

You definitely shouldn't go if he is forcing you to go.

[Anonymous]

I assume your boyfriend was the one who asked you out

[Nikki1989]

Sure, it might be fun.

[OhLongJohnsoning]

If you think you should

[Anonymous]

Yes sure