My boyfriend wants me to get into sports, but I'm conflicted?

[Anonymous]

Including the drive to and from work, I'm gone for 13 hours. I'm also a full-time college student and am currently behind on work because we just moved in together, and we are still unpacking. I'm relatively in and out of the gym, I stopped going because of my unsolvable allergy/breathing problems. My boyfriend wants me to go to the gym with him before work, and every day after work he wants me to join his MMA classes with him. He also wants me to be "more athletic," and to play sports with him. He wants me to do more calisthenics and cardio with him, because he knows I want to lose a bit of weight, however, I've told him I'm more into weight-lifting, and when I was weight-lifting, I lost weight, didn't look bulky, and felt happier & healthier. He says that isn't athletic, it doesn't benefit much when it comes to sports, and he also mentioned how he likes "the cut and toned look" more. I can't help but feel like he's pushing me for his own benefit rather than my own and wants me to look a certain way. I know it's not the same, but I play 2k and sports video games with him, I've watched games, and every time he's asked me to go play ball, I try my best. He says he wants me to get into sports so that we can play and compete together, but I just don't have a genuine interest. What can I do? And am I overreacting?

[WindAtMyBack]

You are doing enough. You are doing far more than most people do.

You are putting in 13 hour days!!! And he wants you to do more?

If those 13 hours are sedentary, it's probably not the best for your health. But it should be up to you to find the right balance.

"I can't help but feel like he's pushing me for his own benefit rather than my own and wants me to look a certain way"

This might be exactly what he wants. And from what you've written, it's the most likely. It's also possible he genuinely has your health in mind. People who are athletic have a strong tendency to have similar expectations of others. I'm too old to be athletic, but I admit I think the same way. But YOU must decide what is best for your life, not him. YOU need to weigh how best to use the hours in a day.

You seem to have a lot on your plate. It's totally understandable that you don't want to take on more. Watch out for your health, because your body has to last a long time. But YOU must make the decision. It seems like in the short term you have enough on your plate. I think you are fine for now, so don't stress over it. Just don't put off looking after your health too long.

[BoopBoopBeep]

"He says he wants me to get into sports so that we can play and compete together, but I just don't have a genuine interest."

So just tell him you have no genuine interest. If that's a deal breaker for him at least you'll know sooner rather than later.

The flip side of that is he's trying to spend more time with you and sharing something that is important to him in his life. Both of which you should be honored by if this is a man you deem to be a top shelf guy. If he's NOT a top shelf guy then F it... move on.

[OldWomanBySoul]

Tell him you aren't interested in the same things and if he doesn't like it, that's his own problem. Relationship should be about supporting eachother or forcing. And no you aren't overreacting, your boyfriend is being an a hole, intentionally or not

[jennifer_bloom]

If you hate traditional sports try a pseudo sport such as dancing or kung fu or cross fit.

[Asker]

thanks!

[jennifer_bloom]

Yeah, I hope you have a happy time :)

[TracyF]

I think so, but here's the deal. He's right about the benefits, and you could stand to loose a little weight. If he wants to spend time with you in this that means he's not just saying loose weight, he's saying he actually likes you and wants to spend time with you. Your insecurities about your weight make him want to push you more, because he knows you're not happy with your body where it is right now. So going with him and doing that is a-okay. However time is the real factor here, you can't juggle the world. You either need to make time, or just tell him you don't have the time for that. You've got a full plate.

[BarryLiverstone]

So as a sports nut myself I can relate to what he is saying. But I would suggest you leave him most of his sports and focus on your own workout. You can take jogs with him or join him a few times to work out but don’t try to match all the sports he is into.

[Asker]

I don't know if this is something I'd leave him over, but I'll consider what else you've said. Thanks for the reply

[BarryLiverstone]

Oh i didn’t mean leave the relationship. I meant let him go do his sports on his own and you do school or something while he’s doing that. If you decide to do all his sports with him just to compete you may end up resenting him

[Nikki1989]

You have enough to do already. I wouldn't do it, but I hate sports anyway.

[Staximus]

Why don't you two just exercise at home together and then you don't have to waste more time going to the dumb smelly gyms

[spartan55]

Sounds like you need a new boyfriend.

[strateguy632]

you dont have time. say no.

[humanearth]

Why bother, sounds like you don't have time