Do you think self improvement and seeing a therapist can fix depression?

[Anonymous]

I have been depressed on and off lately , and I see therapists and workouts. The last 5 years of my life have been hell. I have lost nothing less than everything my free, my family, my future wife , my mental health , my career, everything. I tell people all the time every single day is a fight just to stay alive. I just wanna... I just try not to think about it since I end up on call with suicide watch or with a knive in my hand. I spend everyday self improving hoping this feeling gos away but it never does.

[Skinhead-1979]

I've been struggling with a very poor mental state for 35 odd years. I know all too well what 'loss' means; December this year will be 5 years ago for me I lost everything dear to me and everything I had ever dreamed of... but throughout my life all I have ever known is 'loss'.

A lot of advise has of course been given throughout the past 5 years; I've been on several Anti-Depressant tablets (Sertraline, Citalopram, Mirtazapine) of various strengths; I have desperately sought therapy, but our public health sector (NHS - UK) is in a state of collapse due to decades of chronic underfunding so I practically received none.

Therapist cannot 'fix' you; they can gradually guide you through the process of going through processing the trauma you have endured. In the end you are doing most the work yourself... and that does go through self-improving.

Often as a result of trauma people, victims, blame themselves for everything which has happened and see themselves in a very negative light.

I don't know why, but after my ex had cast me aside I all of sudden got noticed by people; and people, who didn't really know me, were always really positive about me. That has had a very positive effect on me. At times I still have doubts, and I am still very insecure... but I know [better... I still have a long way to go] how to deal with that. Due to feeling good about myself now, and feeling a little bit more confident, it's easier for me to deal with my 'fears'.

I will still avoid my ex; I am not getting near where I assume she still lives; and at the times she could be out, in town for example, I am vigilant. I don't see that changing... ever. Would I end up in front of her for some reason, I am sure I can keep my composure, blank her out and calmy walk away... but I am not dealing with her.

[Asker]

I'm sorry to hear all of this and truly hope things get better for you. I was knocked mirazpine myself but stopped taking it, didn't work at all for me.

[Skinhead-1979]

Thank you.

The thing with anti-depressants is that it numbs your emotions almost to the point that you don't feel them anymore. I describe it as turning into an 'Emotional Zombie'. It can help with treatment, but it has to be in combination with some form of therapy or other social work, and only for a limited amount of time because there are, sometimes quite severe, medical 'risks' attached to it. Addiction being one of them.

Because the UK healthcare system is in a state of collapse, there simply aren't enough resources nor medical specialists available to deal with the 'Mental Health Crisis' and the only thing being done is offer anti-depressants and 'budget therapy' (half-baked, cheap initiatives do 'deal' with crisis).

I've had 4 of my suicide attempt, the most serious ones, while being on Anti-Depressant Tablets; I also got some horrible, mainly very uncomfortable, side effects. That me reconsider, and I went 'Cold Turkey' on them; me doctor was not amused... but since I have felt better.

[Skinhead-1979]

I have always had massive opposition against Anti-Depressant tablets; while I do support many medical advancements... in recent years I have become a bit more wary of the Pharmaceutical sector specifically, but also the Healthcare Service in general. Medical revolves too much around 'Profit' and not so much around 'People'. I am sure many Americans are all too aware of that. While our healthcare service is still free at the point of delivery; costs are increasing all over the board, funding is being cut, services decline. This is my main objection against the Pharmaceutical Sector and Healthcare.

I am also a weed smoker... Why take something Chemical when something Natural can do the same? Weed is also not a cure, but same as Anti-Depressants it can help dealing with the struggles of 'Life'. You can of course get addicted to it, but weed addiction is not as damaging as prescription medication addiction is. There are of course some side effects, as in withdrawal symptoms when you have none but they are not as bad. I am not trying to promote it, but for me the choice was easily made. I have smoked weed for 30 years now.

[Skinhead-1979]

The only time I managed to stay away from weed for a number of years, 5 years?

When I felt happy... but sadly that was not meant to last.

So I know I can stay away from it... but how to get that point again; I don't know. All I care about now is staying available for me kids; I am sure that one day they'll come looking for me.

In the meantime I live a frugal life, with my 2 Ferrets. Trying to keep my head low. I do smoke quite a bit of weed, and I have regular tattooing sessions... the tattoos have also improved my self-perception; but my bills are being paid on time, and I've got enough food on the table. I've got a stable life, so I really cannot complain. I am just constantly prepared for the worst; been made homeless twice, so that worry is always there. It can happen to anyone; one day you have it all, the next day it's all gone.

[Skinhead-1979]

I saw my ex yesterday in town... I tried to create distance between myself and her; and I stopped the first police officer I saw. Explained the situation, and I got told I can report my ex for emotional abuse... that 4.5 years have passed since doesn't matter.

I have an appointment on Monday, at noon, at the police station.

[Asker]

I hope it all makes you feel betterb

[Skinhead-1979]

Thank you; I do my best, and I do believe I am getting, slowly but surely, day by day... but got a long way still to go.

[Oliverlogan263]

I hear you man, that's really rough stuff you been through. No wonder you've been so depressed - losing that much all at once would wreck anyone. Props to you for still fighting every day.

As for self-improvement and therapy helping long-term - in my experience, they can definitely make a huge difference, but it's not like a quick fix, you know? Healing from that level of trauma takes time.

A few things that might help - be patient with yourself. Rome wasn't built in a day. Also keep trying new things til you find what works best for you - different people respond to different treatments.

It's also okay to have setbacks - forgive yourself for not feeling better overnight. As long as the general trend is moving up, even if it's tiny steps, you're winning bro.

Most importantly, stay alive man. You've battled this long already - don't let the pain win now. Keep surrounding yourself with people who build you up. And know I'm always here if an extra ear helps - you got this dude!

[Simplypotatoes]

I feel ya, it's not easy and will never be easy. There will be times when you try so hard to turn things around for yourself but then there'll be times when you feel like you're back to zero. It's a push and pull struggle..
But I mean it's not impossible, there are a lot of people who get better in time with the help of therapy and most of all by helping themselves get better.

[In_Trance]

It's possible if you're willing to do the work.