Do you think therapy can help me? Has it helped you before?

Yes 100% it does help I swear and I went through some fucking crazy shit when I was 5 years old I met another 5 year old a girl who I liked and had a crush on and was so excited when her parents said I could stay the night at there house but what I or no or knew they were not her parents they were her kidnappers and used her a bait and they woke us and in the middle of night and told me what they wanted me to do and I refused and so they started torturing the girl in front of me to get me to agree but I was trying not to at first but then they took out a blow torch and put it to her back and so I agreed to it and they warned me if I told they would kill her painfully and that I better come back every weened and so to try and stop them I did and so when I came back they had a little game for me they were really into torture and terrorizing so they told me I would get to choose who would get the torture me or her and they would tell me what they would do and make me choosep and everytime I took the torture cause they could only do things to me that I could hide it from everybody and the sick ass women took it as a personal challenge to try and break me to get me to put it on the girl which I never did I really don't know how I was able toppppppppppppppp keep choosing myself but I know it pissed hepppr off and each week it worse and the last time she did it she used a knife on me then everything went wrong my mom discovered it almost killed the women and got the girl and father thinking that my mom was just drunk and gone crazy took the girl by force and gave her back and they escaped and they did as they promised me they killed her before being caught so the reason im telling you this is if it wasn't for therapy I would have never made it to tell I actually was repressing this stuff and when all of sudden theses memories hit me so hard I know if I didn't have therapy with a trusted therapist I would have killed myself because of the guilt that I should have gone with her that if u would have been there maybe they wouldn't have killed her or at least she wouldn't have died alone which I still feel this way but I've learned to deal with it so if it helped me which it's the best decision I've ever made going it can help you just let it work for you don't fight it and truly be honest with you're self and the therapist and if you don't feel that therapist is a fit for you get rid of them this is about you and your life not whether or not there feelings trust me they will be fine so find one you connect with and let it work and don't think it's going to be fast results I went for years before I started to heal so just stay the course I hope this helps
Thanks and that's good why I told you cause trauma like sexual abuse can define us if we don't work through are pain I know for me I developed a lot of different traits because of what happened and I have PTSD from it and I'm not saying you will be healed like that it doesn't work like that you probably have a lot of painful days because the memories will come flooding back but if you use therapy as a way to finally be completely honest with your pain and get out those emotions you've been hiding from it can help you realize that it's not your fault and it's nothing you did to deserve something like that and that there's just really bad people among us so worked through that shit because you know you will never be truly ok until you do cause I know about hiding from pain and living in that if I don't ever acknowledge it or try never to think about it stage I can not deny it cause we know it did but almost block out that it ever happened to get by day to day stage so I really hope you can work through your trauma and I'm so sorry that happened to you I really truly wish you luck and know that at least out there is completely rooting for you and support you 100% in your healing good luck and don't give up the mind is a very complicated thing and it takes time
I don't know if I have PTSD but I have some of the symptoms of it. Yeah the worst feeling is when the memories all come back at once and you could be doing like anything then you just shut down. That's literally why I think it can help me. I feel like I dont really have family to turn to and I dont want to talk about it with my friends ao I guess therapy can be like a safe zone for me or something like that if that makes sense. I just want things to feel normal again š£ and I hate that it's such a process
I understand that I had no one to help me in my family what happened destroyed she never forgave herself for it I didn't tell you the hole thing my mother fought every second of it trying to keep them from getting the girl and fought everyone trying to get the girl back and my fucked up criminal father was to big and to strong for her to overcome she tried she hit him as hard she could over and over and she told him that she would never forgive him for and would hate him forever and told him he was a coward cause he only did it because he thought the cops were coming and he didn't want the cops at are house cause of all the stolen shit and she never did forgive and always told him she hated him so it destroyed she drank all day everyday always begging me on her knees for forgiveness and my father hated me for it because it was my fault if I never got tortured then she wouldn't hate him so he despised me and ended up on the streets at 11 so I didn't have any support at all so trust me it can help
Hello @zaharuh My name is Laura, I am 18 and I would be happy to speak with you in private if that would make you feel more comfortable, or here is fine. I was raped my my uncle (dadās brother) on my 13th birthday! He raped me multiple times a day whenever he had access to me, which was 3 to 5 days a week, and it went on for about 3 months until I figured out that I was pregnant and I went to my mother (an emergency room physician) for help! I promise you this⦠IT DOES GET EASIER! It will likely never go away, but therapy is not designed to make it āgo awayā itās designed to allow you to learn to live with it! My rapist always ended by using his mouth to give me an orgasm, because he believed that if it āfelt goodā to me, I would be less likely to ever tell anyone⦠he was right! Because parts of it physically felt good, I too believed that it was my fault, I believed that I wanted it, that I was somehow broken or damaged, that there was something wrong with me. I was a looser who had sex with my uncle, how disgusting was I? That was all I told myself, over and over! But pleasure is just nerves reacting to stimulation, and an orgasm is nothing more than a reflex! We couldnāt stop an orgasm if we wanted to, any more than we can not stop our leg jumping when the doctor hits it with the little rubber hammer! Know this⦠YOU ARE NOT ALONE! & IT WILL GET BETTER! (If you go to therapy). And there are women here who were exactly where you have been, and where you are today. I understand the feelings of self hate, the low self esteem, the depression, the uncontrollable crying, and the worst part⦠the emotional pain! You are not abnormal, you are beautiful and special, and important to so many people. But a real asshole did something terrible to you, something he had NO RIGHT to do, and he stole something from you⦠your innocence, and sense of security! I know what it feels like to actually look forward to something you know is wrong, and how you hate yourself afterwards, because I did! How I thought I was so stupid, bad , and even worthless! These are all natural things to feel, they are reactions to the trauma. And you have survived a terrible trauma! But thatās the most important thing right now, you survived! Now you need to begin the work of healing. Hey, I never give out my name on the main forums, but Iāll do whatever it takes to see that you get the help you so desperately need! Iām here for you, but if not me please contact your local rape crisis center. Donāt allow that animal to steal one more day of your life! I promise you, it does get better, you may even meet a guy who genuinely loves you, I did. A great life is not out of your reach, but you do need to seek help. Coming here and being so brave as to announce what happened to you took unbelievable courage, so I KNOW you have it in you. I hope and pray you consider talking to me, or somebody, anybody. I may not know you, but I know what you are going through, and it really sucks, donāt do this alone, please! Love and good wishes, Laura 🤗
I found therapy extremely helpful. I was very fortunate that the first therapist I was paired with was the correct one for me, but I agree with others who suggest to find one that works for you.
I think it also helps to understand what therapy is and isn't before getting into it. It's not like a doctor visit where the doc is in charge-- you are in control. The therapist won't be trying to diagnose you in order to "cure" you-- they will listen to your story, assess what parts of that story matter to you, and try to find a way for you to understand the parts of yourself that are in conflict, so that you can make the resolution for yourself. That's the hardest part for some people, and why therapy can have mixed results.
Try not to pressure yourself too much with the idea of "fixing" yourself. While it's a struggle now, it's actually just growth in disguise-- you've been through something massive and it takes time to wrap your head around, but once you do you'll feel much more confident and ok with yourself. It'll always be a part of you, but that doesn't have to be a bad thing. Learn what you can from it and keep your heart open. Take it day by day and know that there will be times when it resurfaces and it'll feel like everything's pointless/hopeless, and there'll be times when you realize things have been good for so long that those memories feel like they belong to someone else.
In the end, your experience of life is what you make of it, and this was only a chapter of a long story you get to write moving forward. Push onward, hero.
I'm new here but I'm open to connecting if you want to talk more or have questions.
Unfortunately you can never forget those memories. In my opinion, I think you would greatly benefit from some kind of therapy/counseling. I was diagnosed with severe PTSD and drug addiction. Before being diagnosed, I started self medicating to ease all the symptoms you described and more. I really cause a lot of damage and pain in my family before I got the help I needed. I went to counseling for 2yrd and also seen a psychiatrist for close to a yr. I learned a lot from both. How to manage and cope with my emotions correctly, how to talk about them, when to speak out if I'm having trouble. I found that they were easy to talk to and very understanding and empathized with me. Helped me understand why I felt like I did. Was kinda embarrassed at first but after I realized how much it was helping, I was eager to keep goin and sad when they said I didn't need to come as much. I don't have regular appointments now but I still talk to them both occasionally just to let them know how I am and ask questions about if I handled situations correctly. I wish I had gotten help before I self medicated and did that damage to my life. So I advise you to check into it. You mite have to check out a couple of counselors to find one you like, don't lose faith. Good luck
Yeah I think it's impossible to forget certain things š£ I have a lot of problems but those are some of the big ones. It seems like most people are helped after like 2 years at least from talking with some survivors that's what it feels like. I'm embarrassed to talk about my problems too š¤¦āāļø Its good to hear that it helped, and thank you.
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Try it out. I believe therapy isn't for everyone, some find it helpful and other don't.. figure out what fits with you!
Try a few therapist and see with which one you get along with and feel comfortable with and then try it for a few weeks and see how you feel
I personally don't really feel like therapy has helped me. I feel like it just gave me a lot of practice in venting, and it wasn't like I was venting to my friends and sooner or later they told me to shut up or the conversation was mutual.
This was someone who was paid to listen to me complaining and worrying and then I didn't feel like their input or responses were particularly helpful.
I also think there is a risk that you can talk so much about the past that it actually starts to take up more space in your mind and you get into the habit of thinking about it. Which means that instead of enjoying the here and now, you're worrying about something that already happened and that you can't change.
HOWEVER, I very much believe in the power of talking honestly and openly about personal, vulnerable stuff, with people (e. g. friends) you trust. I think that kind of mutual care and support is vital.
I just don't have great experience with the commercial version (psychotherapy), and also, I feel like psychology in general is some people with quite poor intuitions guessing about how the human mind works. I personally think a lot of their guesses are wrong. But they still make money off them. And they still teach them to people as if they are fact. And I find that really wrong.
I have no experience at all with therapy or any of that but the thing for me is like I don't really have family to go to on this and this isn't something I've ever talked about with my friends so I kind of see this as my best option rn but like if I just dont like it or something maybe my thoughts will change idek.
Very well written, you sound very normal person to me, with trauma. Someone projected "wrongness" onto you and you are confused, lacking integrity now... and you know it. So it's good you recognize that.
The value to therapy is talking things out, finding root causes, finding techniques you can use to work these things out. It's not a magic pill... there isn't one. As well, someone to talk to as you get into relationships who can watch out for you that you aren't living out of the wounds and helps you navigate challenges and what is healthy for you. We don't always see what is right ourselves. Not all therapists are good or know your scenario.
The magic pill is recognizing the past... facing it with courage and overcoming it. That means
Most effective in order of what I think most effective.
Writing, talking, group sharing... more you get the authentic emotions out and healed the better.. but don't want to live in the trauma, but release it's power over you (affirmations, prayer, etc..). That's what your dreams are... trying to process what happened. Learning about trauma and how to overcome it. Learning techniques to deal with the memories and minimize them or put them in order.
Finding support (groups, therapy, friends, family) and recovering your self love, self worth, and power... so you are strong in yourself and living above what was projected onto you. That's a process.
I've had enough experience around all that I won't go into: sexual abuse, emotional abuse, manipulative and controlling personalities. A
Well it's easy to hide your emotions with messages. A bit more extreme then that but yeah I guess. I think you're right I just need to like overcome and get comfortable talking about it but I know it's going to take years to recover. I know I need to get used to sharing the story and my feelings. Thank you for your advice.
that's the path out...
welcome.
I think that you will benefit enormously from therapy.
It is precisely the kinds of things you've been through, and continue to struggle with, that therapy DOES help.
I have had some psychological and psychiatric therapy. It's actually a positive experience. I can almost guarantee that you'll feel the same way.
I cannot express how strongly I feel therapy will benefit you.
Please do it.
You're hurting a whole lot more than you need to be. You deserve to be happy, just like anyone else. Therapy is your best rout to hopefully shed some of the emotional burden, which (right now) must seem like it's a part of who you are.
Do it. You have nothing to lose. And you WILL benefit more than u could possibly tell you 🙂
I really hope you do it! š
@zaharuh really sorry to read all of what you have been through.
yes definitely itās a case of getting some counselling.
A lot of what you have went through is very much how historical abuse often shows up.
Key bits to get back are your sense of self worth. What was done was not your fault, itās something you should not even think about blaming yourself over.
please look at getting some counselling, the hardest part is that first call or visit to a counselling centre and making an appointment (we called them Initial Assessments), where they will likely give you an initial review and then look at allocating you a full time counsellor.
what you are feeling will pretty much be what you carry around with you until you have sat down with a professional and they give you a way to manage things for your specific experience, as what works for one, may not for others.
@CrazyGirl2
@zaharuh sitting down and talking through with someone is the first best move.
Often when you start talking everything comes out.
I know when we had that first IA, the person would be nervous, hesitant and suddenly the flood gates opened snd they just opened up about everything, including things they had forgotten about or suppressed,
Itās getting past that initial hurdle and once you do, then various things can be looked at, especially coping strategies and if you have anything that are specific triggers.
When you do get in to a tough period, things like music, drawing, painting work as does journal keeping.
@zaharuh Iāve done both sides, opened up with someone and pretty much went over everything and also sat and listened to a person.
The key thing about the person listening, is not being judgmental, simply listening and letting you do it at your own speed. Itās worth going over things like questions or interruptions before you start.
@zaharuh when going over stuff people will often ask really odd things in part as a coping mechanism dealing with what they are being told, but also sometimes to elicit more information, it could be anything,
@zaharuh with a therapist / counsellor, they will actively listen and at points likely ask for clarification, or most likely sit back and take notes.
If you think of one of your friends came to you and said they were afraid of the dark, could you help them, you would listen to why but also want to ask some questions so you could understand better, as this would help you to help them better
It can help you and I would very much recommend seeking some serious help. My head was a mess for many years due to sexual abuse as a child. We like to think that we can overcome mental and emotional trauma ourselves no matter what. But what we can overcome does have limit on it. Once that limit is reached the emotional and mental trauma does not simply go away. That it why it effect us on a mental and emotional level. That it also why it can have a serious negative impact on our behavior as well.
Getting help is going to be a processes and can be rough at times. But take it from someone who's head isn't a mess after getting it. In the end it's beyond worth getting.
I recommend three things:
1) Craniosacral Therapy
2) Talk Therapy (body-focused if possible)
3) Yoga (Nidra if possible)
They are all helping me with my stuff.
And I wish I'd done them consistently much earlier.
Also see the book: 'The Body Keeps the Score'.
And always remember, everything you do to avoid the pain is only prolonging it (overthinking and porn addiction for me).
The solution is not intellectual, but emotional. You can't think your way out. You have to, as they say, 'feel to heal'.
I don't think so.
I know some settle for that approach, often for their entire lives - partly because we didn't know as much about it before very recently.
But they then fuck up their kids in turn (like my mum) and that's no fun for anyone.
I'm not saying it will be easy.
It sure as he'll hasn't been for me.
But I refuse not to break the cycle.
Also, Google 'learned helplessness'.
It comes from a study in which dogs were shocked repeatedly with electricity, and not allowed to escape.
Then, they were shocked, and given the option to escape - but didn't, because they'd become convinced that they couldn't.
The comparison with your situation is obvious - you once could not escape, and now that you can, you still don't think you can.
This is perhaps what keeps many stuck, in many ways, including myself.
Speaking as a qualified hypnotherapist, yes.
That being said, I rarely recommend hypnosis for a trauma that deep as a first step.
Find a psychologist you trust. And I mean a Clinical Psychologist, not just a therapist. talk it through. It will be painful, so make damn sure you trust them absolutely.
It's unlikely a man - gay or straight - will be able to help you at the deepest level of hurt. As men there are things we simply can't identify with to help you.
I'm so sorry for what you went through.
This is really helpful, I hadn't even thought of this before. I'll try to look for a clinical psychologist instead. Yeah I'm realizing that I probably won't be a good match with most people but like I just have to keep looking until I find someone that can help me and that I feel I can trust. I've never heard that before like a man not being as compatible but it's a good thing to keep in mind. Thank you so much.
Therapy might help you or it might not - you need to try it to find out. Also, and this is important - most people who do therapy are not very good at it because it is exceedingly difficult to learn and to consistently do well. You need someone who does it well, and this means that you may have to switch therapists several (or more) times until you find someone that seems right for you. A lot of people will not do this because they are afraid of hurting the therapist's feelings, but you absolutely NEED to do this if a therapist doesn't seem right for you. Don't worry about the therapist's feelings - they can take care of themselves very well.
Yes, the best thing you can do is share your story with someone you trust. It will help you immensely.
One of my girlfriends wrote out her whole story and then shares it with those she trusts and it has been the greatest form of therapy for her.
I am so sorry that happened to you :(
I've gotten a little better with this since I posted this which is nice I've shared my story to a few people now and it felt kind of good even tho it was really hard for me like I was freezing up a lot and stuff but it's like each time I share it it gets easier for me. Also my therapist has been helpful too I just have a problem with consistently going and thank you š
I recommend that you put it in a word processor and just keep it there. it kind of is a way of detaching from it but still knowing it is there if you need to go back to it and revisit it for whatever reason. Chances are it will just stay they isolated from you.
I am so happy that you are doing better now!
Sometimes this is what you need...
Tears are also therapy sometimes. A good cry helps get a lot of emotions out :)
You're sweet :)
But I did because I could tell you were hurting off and on about this and I am compelled in these type of situations to do and say what I can. You can always reach out to me when you are feeling down :)
You're welcome. There are some people who do care :)
Iāve tried therapy many times but it never helped me. The people were never very understanding and would just tell me to āstop thinking negativelyā even though I was having serious problems with depression and thatās the reason why I was there. And for stress and anxiety, which I had also, their only advice was usually just to do deep breathing.
Yes I think therapy can maybe help you understand that none of the things that happened you were your fault, its only the fault of those who did that to you.
The various problems you face (anxiety, depression, low self esteem etc) are likely because of your childhood.
i'm sorry you went through all that and yes therapy will help you out a lot to cope with whatever you're feeling and going through. but make sure you get a therapist who's specifically trained in that field not some run of the mill retard therapist who doesn't know wtf he's talking about or some run of the mill broad jackass therapist because there's a lot of them out there like that. find somebody who specializes in that field of therapy and it will help you a great deal. but just remember it wasn't your fault and when you accept that and change your mindset your outlook on things will get better and improve greatly over time. remember the old saying "The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step and after so many steps you can look back and see how far you've come and it's not about the destination but about the journey"
no one ever said it would be easy
I would say group theripy. Others in same plight might be able to help with what has helped them more quickly. Also personal theripy. Most youtube psycoligist videos suggest, betterhelp. com. it online, 24hour helpline. You can reach the. best psychologists online with a phone 24 hours. Also when you have a issue, youtube it. You will see they styles of theripy needs for each plight. Other people in same issue in groups theripy, how it works. And no, you are not worthless, most girls have had this issue, most guys dont care. And dont forget here, ask guys if they care. Each question.
And one more suggestion. Just in case its a spiritual door opened because of the dreams. 1800 759 0700 is a 700 prayer line you can call, they will pray to the lord and close those doors. It worked for me with everything. I call them all the. time. I've seen miracles many times.. Hugs...
Thanks for showing some places I can look at. I don't know if I'm ready for group therapy or not yet like I have a lot of trouble speaking about my issues with people. It's definitely something I want to try though. I don't think most girls have had this issue. I don't know what you mean by spiritual door and also I'm not religious so I don't know if it would help me. Thank you for your advice.
I was sexually and physically abused starting at 4 years old.
I didn't get into drugs or alcohol, I turned to sex. Addiction became a problem.
Risky dangerous stuff.
My wife noticed that I wasn't thinking clearly about basic issue and encouraged me to get into therapy.
She also participated. It was extremely helpful.
I'd recommend it. I was in a really bad place.
I hope you find what you need.
Things will not ever go away 100%. You have to change the way you think. Understand what triggers you the most.
The first best thing you can do is workout and eat correctly. Doing such will release endorphins that will make you feel better throughout the day.
You have to do something that will help you fill that void.
Therapy can help, definitely. Finding that right therapist can be difficult though. Be patient and take your time when finding a therapist.
Throughout the day think about what triggers you the most to think about such stuff. This is just an example: Like if youāre out driving at you see a certain kind of car or hear a certain song on the radio, that automatically takes you back to thinking about what happened. Changing the way you think. Easier said than done. Surround yourself with positive things. You can even go to support groups with other women that are going through the same thing as you. Feeling that you arenāt alone feels good, especially in person. You can help one another get through tough times. I got so much to write, but do little time. Iāll write you later?
You donāt change the way you think overnight. Thatās a long process
You should definitely go and also go to hypnotist if you canāt remember it helped my girlfriend. Just donāt fall into that trap and letting them prescribe any medication to you because they all do it and I donāt think itās really necessary too many side effects
I suffer to sone of these as you do. I'm also started to look for a therapist. I hope I land on a good one. I'm sure it can be a hit or miss till you find one that suits you. It is a little scary to share with a stranger. But then again they can hopefully help you. Can help you view things differently, maybe give you great ideas how to slay your inner demons.
That's awful that this has happened to you.
The biggest thing is that you have to move forward. You have to move beyond victim and work towards becoming a survivor. You can either suffer through that trauma or leave it behind and let it all go. It's not easy. But I do think that the right therapist can help you with that process.
I found therapy really helpful, it changed my life. Not to say there was a point when I didn't feel I was getting to much from it, which is why I stopped, but went back on occasions when events were too much.
I would say it's definitely worth it. I'm actually about to hopefully have a few more sessions to help me process some stressful stuff I've been going through
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