Hey! I need your advice and opinion. My girlfriend battles anxiety and carries deep emotional scars from her past. Almost every night, she experiences intense waves of sadness, and I feel powerless to help her. During these episodes, she cries uncontrollably, and I sit with her, trying to be supportive..
We've been dating for six months and share an apartment with other students. Here's the twist: her ex-boyfriend lives with us, and they're still close friends but I think that they respect each other's boundaries. I trust her, but some friends have raised concerns about this arrangement.
She has this sparkly super positive attitude outside but deals with anxiety and dissociation in secret. She's in therapy, but it doesn't seem to make a significant difference. She feels that when she's not sad, she's disconnected from her emotions, and pretending to be happy makes her crash down even harder in the evenings.
Her past includes her parents' divorce due to infidelity, her stepfather's inappropriate behavior during her teen years and now, her mother's overseas internship is causing her pain because of abandonment anxiety, but her mom dismisses her feelings.
She says that it's nice to have someone to talk to during the episodes, but it affects my mood negatively when I do. She can switch emotions quickly because of her coping mechanisms, but I can't. She suggested I detach emotionally or leave her alone during episodes, but it's tough as I'm emotional too. This drains us both, affects academics, and I'm unsure of a long-term solution.
This makes me worried and unsure if there's a long-term solution. I told her that I see little improvement despite professional help, and she thinks I'm impatient. She says has been going on for over 10 years.
Our relationship is otherwise good, and we're willing to make sacrifices. I don't know what to do.
TLDR: Girlfriend's anxiety and past trauma are straining our relationship. Seeking advice on how to handle the situation.
